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So, would most of you women say that you pretty much know when a guy's checking you out?

 

Even if he's accross the room and you've not spoken?

 

 

What is your general reaction and tactics utilized when your not interested? Or do you play games just cause you like the attention?

 

Now, if you ladies are a bit shy and not wanting to be caught looking how's that tactic different than the tactic used when not interested? Please forgive my ignorance but I can't sometimes tell the difference between not interested and being some what shy...

 

The reason I ask is I just saw this girl last night in a club and for the life of me I couldn't figure out should I go introduce myself or just leave it alone? I know that instance is a lost cause as I'm not likely ever to see her there ever again. I go there quiet a bit and I think I've only saw her there once or twice over a years period. I say that only because from the times before I saw her at a distance and mistook her for someone else and realised it wasn't the same woman . However. last night was the first time I ever got to see her up close just a few tables over from me. Wow, was I stunned by how much I was taken with her, it even caught me off guard. She's was hanging out with some fairly wild party girls evidently friends of hers but she herself was behaving very low keyed and restrained, I was impressed. The strangest thing is I had plenty of reasons to pay her no mind, one being she was shorter than I prefer, secondly she was slightly chubby, not fat or anything. But something about her eyes offset my normal train of thought and I was seeing her in a near perfect fashion regardless of all else.

 

I kept looking over her way with passing glances not minding if I got caught a little, just careful not to be caught looking too much as that might come off creepy. I got that gut feeling she knew I was looking at her and while she gave no hints, she did seem to look my direction several times. (Damn I wished you girls would be a bit more direct.) I couldn't tell if she was just looking my way to see if I was still passing glances making her feel uncomfortable or if she was looking to see if I was still passing glances her way because she had an interest in knowing whether I was really looking at her in a good way. I tried to smile alot and laugh when I saw her friends clowing around when they was laughing at themselves. I was seeking some validity or recognition that she saw me laughing at her friends when she was laughinh at them. I never really got a negative response but nor did I get an acknowledgement either.

 

I so wanted to think of a way to somehow slip into their group but damn it was like 6 women party. Much like a girls night out on the town sort of thing. I could tell that some had engagement rings and or wedding bands. But the one girl I'm speaking of did not.

 

As I said earlier I figure if there ever was a shot that came and went last night. So my question isn't really about her so much as it is a learning experience so I'll a bit wiser should I ever see a situation arise again like this.

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What is your general reaction and tactics utilized when your not interested? Or do you play games just cause you like the attention?

 

Now, if you ladies are a bit shy and not wanting to be caught looking how's that tactic different than the tactic used when not interested? Please forgive my ignorance but I can't sometimes tell the difference between not interested and being some what shy...

 

Your situation is going to produce ambiguity because you were in a club and you didn't know this woman. She could have been attracted to you but didn't feel comfortable giving obvious signals to a stranger.

 

But generally, the difference is usually that if a woman is interested she'll keep glancing back, she'll look you in the eyes and she'll smile. If she's not interested, she'll usually either try to ignore you or avoid eye contact. Check out her body language too. If she's turning away from you or crossing her arms accross her chest, she might be signaling that she doesn't want you to approach her. But many women - especially younger ones - aren't really aware of their body language.

 

I can be somewhat shy and reserved with people I don't know well. But if I saw an attractive man and I was in a situation I felt safe, I'd make sure to make myself approachable.

 

If you can't tell, you can always try going up to the woman to initiate a conversation and see how she responds. If I was interested, I'd try to continue the conversation. If I wasn't, I'd appear bored or distracted and I'd try to end communication somehow.

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Next time try this.catch her eye..and stare.Dont move a muscle..dont batter an eye lid.She will either smile and you are in or give a negative body language.Pierce her with your good masculine looks and youll get better responses.Those glancy eye games have a lower strike rate

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Either the glad eye or the double take indicates to me a girl thinks favourably of me.

 

Glad eye: She stares into you and smiles coyly. It's a good sign.

 

Double take: She looks at you and then checks you out again within 45 sec. I should think girls who are more shy tend to use this more. And I generally pick up the second glance by peripheral vision (lol that is, pretending i'm looking in another general direction).

 

Yeah and I def. agree with the above poster. If you get the chance to talk to her, even small talk, take the opportunity to stare deep into her eyes as long as the conversation lasts.

 

Another trick I find is the handshake when you are first introduced. Shaking her hands allows you to make physical contact with her. Couple this with your best smile and again, stare into her eyes deeply. It will set you up well for an open conversation, and other conversations later if you get on well with her.

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YEEEEEEEES YOU CAN TELL WHEN A MAN IS CHECKING YOU OUT!!!

 

If a girl is interested, she will do the same and keep looking at you..possibly smile.

 

If shes not, she will look down, not make eye contact, ignore it all. Also, i will turn my body away from him, which is what seems to work as well. I will give off the ''i am not interested'' signals..at least thats what i do.

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Nope, most of the time I don't notice or can't tell if a guy is checking me out. They have to be extremely obvious about it, and sometimes that can make me uncomfortable rather than interested. I've spent so little time out on the social scene where people normally meet, that I don't have that skill. (every single guy I've dated I met through work or college)

 

BTW, shygal, I do the opposite. If I'm interested in a guy, I blush and look away. I have a very hard time holding the gaze and smiling if it's someone I find attractive.

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YEEEEEEEES YOU CAN TELL WHEN A MAN IS CHECKING YOU OUT!!!

 

If a girl is interested, she will do the same and keep looking at you..possibly smile.

 

If shes not, she will look down, not make eye contact, ignore it all. Also, i will turn my body away from him, which is what seems to work as well. I will give off the ''i am not interested'' signals..at least thats what i do.

 

A guy has to read properly though, because there are many girls who are just friendly, and for example smile to show that. lol. Approach friendly, none the lesss

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Sorry, for being late in returning to my inquiry as I had other urgent busines to take care of on the web first. My car club website went down and I had to fix that quickly as many people would want to be posting. We just had our annual car show Saturday had 110 cars turn out pretty good this year. The weather was great, lots of prizes and I was parading around in a costume taking pictures infront of cars...

 

Needless to say I was on a natural high by the end of the day and when ever I feel that way I like to go out. I know how much a natural high can boost the glow with your swagger... That's why I went to the nightclub that evening.

 

Anyhow, returning to the point of the question. LOL, it wasn't like I went or intended to be putting forward any glances and if it hadn't been for her I seriously doubt I would have. So, in effect I don't know how much of the glancing was brought on by myself and how much she was drawing me to keep looking her way... That's the funny thing about such stuff it's actually two folded. A person doesn't typically keep looking at certain person if they spotted a reason not too. Secondly they sure wouldn't have any reason to post such a question in a forum if they had felt like from the get go there was a negative reaction to such glances. What would be the point I think you would have already known and therefore had no reason to ask such a question of others...

 

However, since I did ask the question this must raise the suspicion something was going on if even I was confussed about what that was, right? I mean had I felt I was getting a negative feedback then I'd have no reason to ask this to begin with... The puzzlement is yes, she would sometimes set with her back towards me and at other times change her position where she could see right over her friends shoulder. I know without question that she saw me looking at her because I saw her eyes looking directly at me. She would also look away as if shy but not terrible so just trying to not make it too obvious that she was looking. However I was doing the same thing but trying to be more positive about it so as to get caught and see what came of it. You never know if a girl is interested, has a boyfriend or just happens to be looking your way and it means nothing. I never really saw her smile because I was looking but she didn't frown or act like she was uncomfortable with it either. The one and only body language reaction that really threw me and I'm absolutely certain of this unquestionably, was during one of the glances when I was looking at her and she was looking at me looking at her, she turned her eyes away and her left hand rose to her chest as if to pat her heart area. I didn't understand that but I knew such an action had to be subconsiously on her part. It had to mean something even if she was unaware she had did this... Well, as the evening came to a close figuring this had panned as far as it was going to get. I wasn't really seeing an opportunity to inject myself into the midst of a 6 woman clan, I went with the only option left, I went home.

 

Figuring if there was something there then leaving her wanting was my best chance to make her come back to the place and give her sometime to think it over. She just might consider making an opportuinty a bit more avaliable if she had been truly interested. Anyhow, I wasn't looking directly at her but I could feel her eyes upon me as I rose to my feet and placed on my leather bike jacket on. Thanked Kathy the bar tender and shook hands with Billy the bouncer. Wanting her to see this so she would know that I wasn't just passing through but that I came there regularly and the employees would reflect this in saying goodbye to me. Anyhow during this all I could tell she was grasping all she could see of me as I slipped my jacket on. Looking at my height and stance, I could feel a gasp in the air coming from her way as if she was taking it all in and a bit of dissappointment seeing me leave. As I walked away I looked back over my shoulder but she was not looking. Now either I missed her glance or there never was one, and if the later be the case then so be it. I've gotten used to having no one interested, so theres no loss in never having anything.

 

I just find it odd that she would keep passing glances and I too and there wasn't anything at work there? She kind of struck me as being a bit shy or reserved if you like than her girlfriends. O well, just thought I'd submit it to some experts here for some analyzing. It's no big deal that she's most likely gone for good I'm more concerned about being ready and armed with knowledge so when I see something happen like that in the future.

 

I so seldom ever get any glances from lady's so I'm a bit ignorant when it comes to that subject. I sometimes think I wouldn't get the hint if she came right up sat beside of me with a sign on her head saying "ask me out I like you." LOL

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I don't know...this one is tough. When I notice a guy checking me out, it usually makes me feel uncomfortable. I will most likely look just because he is staring at me, I can sense it and it makes me look. It doesn't mean that I am interested or not interested. It just means that I noticed that he was staring at me. And, if he keeps staring at me, I will keep looking, because I really just want to know why he keeps staring at me. I don't like being the center of attention, which it probably why I find it very annoying and uncomfortable. If a guy is interested in me, he shouldn't just stare at me accross the room. He should come up to me and start a "normal conversation". Don't come up and act like you aren't there to talk to me. Like some guys will see an open seat and ask if they can sit and take a load off. My initial thought is I don't own that seat and anyone can sit in it. Just come up to me and say hello, introduce yourself, don't use any stupid lines and I will like you a lot more than the guy who comes up and gives me a line.

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I agree and all excellent points... It stumped me as well and I felt like I needed to ask... 99% of the time women just don't look my direction and if I do look they never look back EVER... They certainly never give me any passing glances but this lady was most definitely looking... If all the rest never look and that represents no interest what am I to gather from this?

 

Anyhow it wasn't like I was staring a hole in her, (one I wouldn't be comfortable with that and second I'd be fearful it would come off as creepy.) Anyhow, I would from time to time just glance her way as it wasn't too difficult. Her friends where making a big scene of themselves. Plenty of other people was looking too. However, she was being quiet reserved almost shy in a way or she was trying her best to give an impression of classyness. I'd almost bet she would have acted up more had I not been gazing her way. She sure didn't seem to act like she was concerned what others thought of her behavior... We all do this unless of course we have cause to restrain ourselves. Such as if I saw some lady I was interested in I wouldn't want to do anything that would leave a bad impression like I was some player or anything... It's almost like she was trying to send a signal she wanted to be viewed in a more respectful manner. I'm not saying she did that because of me but she might have and I was getting that feeling she was controlling herself a great deal.

 

I know if for a fact there was someone staring at me and I had no interest in them I wouldn't look their way at all. I'd never make eye contact even if I had to look in their direction. Hopefully they would get the message as I wouldn't keep looking back to see if they was still looking. The only reasonable excuse I can give for continuing to glance at some one that I knew was looking my way would be to make eye contact to see if I really was the target of their attention. If I've concerned myself to that point without turning away long before then I must be interested and trying to convey interest back. Why else keep passing glances at one another trying to see if the other is looking back. I mean eventually both are going to see one another looking at the other and if you two haven't stopped after a single glance or two then something must be going on and I don't think it's disinterest... Could not the same also be said of women?

 

 

LOL, anyway I kind of have to laugh about it all, as that ship sailed out of the harbor when I got up and left. I don't know what else I was looking for in a confirmation. I just knew at the time I was needing something else beyond some gazes that I just wasn't sure about. Regardless of getting the gut feeling they was true and genuine in meaning and purpose.

 

Hey, thanks for your assitance all of you... I guess I'm just a clueless idiot that will never understand the difference between a genuine look of interest that's saying come over and say hi and one that's saying I wished you'd stop looking my way.

 

I know I got tired of getting set up on dates and have refused to go on anymore. No matter how nice a person can be you can't make yourself be attracted to someone. Just for once I'd like to go out with someone that I really wanted to go out with. But at last it seems like no one is ever interested in me and for an instance last night I thought maybe I had???

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OK so I rarely even get any looks too, but in some situations you kinda have no choice to look at the same spot multiple times; public transport or at a restaurant are good examples.

Anyway for those that do seem to look in my direction, maybe or maybe not at me, the problem is that they don't make it seem inviting. I mean you yourself didn't mention anything about it either. You just say you look back to see if the guy is creeping you out - and that sorta post means I'm very sure to never look too much at all. And when someone looks at you in that very un-inviting way, that just makes it even harder for the guy to approach.

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OK so I rarely even get any looks too, but in some situations you kinda have no choice to look at the same spot multiple times; public transport or at a restaurant are good examples.

Anyway for those that do seem to look in my direction, maybe or maybe not at me, the problem is that they don't make it seem inviting. I mean you yourself didn't mention anything about it either. You just say you look back to see if the guy is creeping you out - and that sorta post means I'm very sure to never look too much at all. And when someone looks at you in that very un-inviting way, that just makes it even harder for the guy to approach.

 

Smiling is your friend...Have a little feel good smile on your dial and see what happens..I find it makes people giggly and yes somewhat atrracted to you..try it subtely...

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YEEEEEEEES YOU CAN TELL WHEN A MAN IS CHECKING YOU OUT!!!

 

If a girl is interested, she will do the same and keep looking at you..possibly smile.

 

If shes not, she will look down, not make eye contact, ignore it all. Also, i will turn my body away from him, which is what seems to work as well. I will give off the ''i am not interested'' signals..at least thats what i do.

 

I got to thinking about what you said, and I was about to dismiss it as not being the case. However, when I was in the middle of writing the reasons why I believed this woman never hinted no such thing a flash of insightfulness struck me.

 

This is what I was writing:

I just can't tell the difference between a passing glance and a genuie glance of interest? I really don't know how you women can spot the difference? Thus, the reason why I'm asking the question at all?

 

I thought of asking myself how I would react should I see a woman I didn't know passing glances in my direction. I know if it was someone that I'd prefer not looking at me. I would just ignore them feeling they would get the message that their attention was unwanted. However, if it was someone that I found to be attractive then I'd most likely keep glancing in their direction, to see if they was really looking at me or someone else? Usually within a short period thereafter a mutual eye lock has occurred regardless if I'm trying to not get caught looking. If I have allowed that eye contact to last a little longer than what feels comfortable and haven't immediately been put off by it, then yea I'm interested... For I wouldn't look her way again after the first and risk a second eye lock to occur unless I liked what I was seeing.

 

Oh crap

 

I just realized something! Forget about all the peek a boo glances. They may or may not mean anything that's sepculative at best but I believe I just answered my own question, by what I just wrote above. The reason being, not only did this woman and I look one another in the eye once but we permitted ourselves an even longer second gaze eye to eye where there was no room for doubt, that we was looking at one another. That should have never happened unless both of us was wanting to look one another in the eye. I know that must be true for I've seen women turn their back or even walk away after just one eye to eye contact. She had plenty of options to signal disinterest and used none of them.

 

I feel like an idiot now but a smarter one at least. I think I finially understand this glancing thing. O'well if having her slip away or screwing up by leaving the place without ever speaking to her left a bad impression. I consider that a small price to pay to be all that much wiser... Besides I never figured her to come back to the place anyhow as I've only seen her there one other time and that was a very long time ago. I seriously doubt she'll be back anytime soon nor that she was so caught up with me hoping something would come of it, that she would come again to see if I was there...

 

I'm extemely grateful for all your wisdom shygal it's given me a different perspective on things.

 

I'm not the brightest guy in the world... O' yea I can see things pretty clearly when it comes to someone else but when it comes to me, I haven't a clue. I have this uncanny ability to excuse anything I may see as a sign of disinterest. I once even convinced myself that this pretty girl who just waved me over really didn't want to talk to me and I let it go. I really had liked her and I got the feeling she had been trying to get my attention for sometime. So, when she waved me over that time I just waved back and left it at that... That happened long ago but I still haven't forgot about it and I had hoped I had learned from that mistake but I guess not? Anyhow, I just think no one would ever find me attractive so I don't bother ever trying anymore.

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12 Signs He's a Player - Beginners Guide

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