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How to have Phone sex?!


LoveWaits

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Hi!

This is my first thread here, and I hope I've placed it in the right category. I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend and am also quite shy... I thought this might fit in any of those other categories, but the subject I need help with is definitely of a sexual nature... So I suppose I'll just get to it.

My guy has been in a different state for a few weeks now. He will be there a while longer. He is the first man I've been in a serious relationship with, and is the man I lost my virginity to. We talk on the phone daily (and nightly), and are both feeling quite lonely. The last few times we spoke, it was obvious that he (and I!) wanted the conversation to take a more interesting, sexual turn, but I just could not bring myself to do it! He is also a lot more sexually experienced than I am. I am inexperienced to say the least and just don't know what to SAY to him. I am also VERY shy, and the thought of saying these things over the phone makes me clam right up. The thing is, I really want to do it (not just for him, but for myself as well)...I just don't know how. This should be fun, but it is frustrating me to no end. Even when he starts it off, I still feel completely embarrassed and unsure and I start to draw a blank. I feel panicky and stupid and I don't want to make it awkward with long silences on my part. He has a sense of humor about it and jokes about getting me to come out of my shell, but I just feel like I'm disappointing both him and myself.

If we were together, I would just DO things to/with him, and I know I should just put those things into words, but I can't. What words do you use? I don't think I could pull off (or would want to pull off) really dirty language, and obviously anatomically correct terms won't get us in the mood (lol). I feel like I just sound so silly. I know this really shouldn't be so difficult. I think my shyness and lack of experience/knowledge puts me at a disadvantage. That and the pressure I'm putting on myself. Any tips or insights or ideas would be most welcome!

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Just take the feelings you have missing him and describe the feeling physically, "miss holding you," "miss kissing you," to start, then get more explicit from there. Tell him in your own words, not madeup porno stuff, exactly what you want to do with him. Make a list of adjectives that turn you on, "hot," "warm," "hard," etc., and add them to your specific descriptions. Add in as many adjectives as possible for color and stimulation.

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Phone sex is not for everyone...some people are very comfortable doing it and others aren't. Even experienced people may not be into the whole phone sex thing. So don't force yourself to do something you are not comfortable with. Phone sex is not the same as sex in person because in person there is the feelings of love whereas over the phone it can just feel like two people simply trying to get off. The loving vibes are just not the same and maybe that is why you feel rather silly doing it. No matter what pointers people give, it will still boil down to your comfort level.

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You could try with a webcam over Skype. That way, if there is a silence, you can just fill it by "doing" something (to yourself).

 

Instead of the anatomically correct words, most people use (I'm not sure what I can say here).. p**sy, c*ck and those aren't too porno like. You could practice by using dirty talk with yourself when you are masturbating. Just say outloud what you are thinking about or pretend that he is listening. That way, you can come up with a fantasy in your head and then tell it to him over the phone or cam.

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Thanks for your suggestions so far! I like the idea of starting off kind of slow and using adjectives to help myself along.

And thanks for the reassurance that this activity isn't for everyone. It's good to hear that I'm not some kind of prude or horrible girlfriend if I can't get this right just yet. I'm not terribly comfortable with it yet, but I want to be. You're right about me feeling silly because I just feel less connected over the phone.

And SuzyQ, I really like your suggestions! The skype/web cam idea is great. I don't know why we never thought of that before. He is in the military and is living on base right now, so this wouldn't be possible all the time, but it is something we could definitely try. I also like the idea of practicing/fantasizing before hand so I don't feel so put on the spot!

 

Thanks guys!

 

Any other insights?

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I posted this reply to another thread about phone sex. I think it applies here as well.

 

Warning....a little explicit...sorry!!

 

Phone sex is fun, but it really does help if your horny and in the mood! My bf and I masturbate while talking each other through it. I tell him where I am touching myself, how fast, how hard. How I am imaging that it is his tongue right where my wet fingers are. I ask him if he is hard. (usual answer is yes) I then ask him to touch his c**k and imagine me on my knees in front of him. I look up into his eyes, right as I run my tongue down the shaft of his hard c**k. I see his eyes close and he shudders from the feel of my warm wet tongue. I slowly run my tongue back up and slide him into my mouth...all the way down until I feel the nest of hair at the base.

 

You can take it from there. I always throw in several times that I look up into his dark/light eyes as I am pleasuring him. And for a final finale I ask him if I can watch his big hard c**k explode on my tongue and lips. And I tell him that I want him to watch as I slowly dip my fingers in his cum and lick them clean.

 

Also, you can improvise and tell him that you are wearing something very sexy like a mini skirt and matching bra. Be creative.

 

Also, be sure to pleasure yourself. Hearing you pleasuring yourself will get him off too. I just imagine what I want to do to my bf and tell him about it.

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phone sex is great, my fiance is out of town right now too... for a few weeks and it works in a pinch.

 

I started it off the other night with a lot of subtlety

 

Me: I wish you were here, I miss you

Her: why is that?

Me: because Im horny and I want you

 

Ill leave out the rest of the details... but its really not that big of a deal once you get started... and trust me unless your man is a prude or a priest he wont really care WHAT you say, hell just be glad your saying it!

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