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Do you ever wish you met someone at a different time in your life?


Hackuuna Matata

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Is there anyone that was in your life that you met that you now look back and say "I wish I could have met them at a different time". Whatever the reason may be, you think they are a great person but the time just was not right when you met. Maybe you didn't see it at the time you met, but now you see it and wish you could try again.

 

Have you ever had this nagging feeling about someone? You look at them and think that they really are a great fit for you and it's a pity they are now taken, or perhaps the timing still isn't right for you, or maybe they are some place else (so you can't pursue them)?

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Absolutely. I am in that situation now. A coworker and I just seem to be a perfect match, to the mind reading level... we formed a closer connection almost immediately than I've ever formed with anyone I dated or was in a relationship with, or was even friends with (except for one friend)... but he's married with kids so I consciously put up barriers. I will never ask him if he would feel the same, because I know he is happy with his family (and I will never ever begrudge him that happiness).

 

 

PS - this is NOT the ring guy, for those who know what I'm referencing

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YES... I actually just posted about this in another thread a few days ago. When I met him, I was young (15 or 16) and we dated for 4.5 years. He was everything I could ever want in a man. We were even engaged at one point...but the timing was so wrong. I think he's the one who got away. I know, without a doubt (and he's said the same), that if we'd met later in life, we would've easily spent our lives together. But now, we're just different. It's sort of sad.

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I feel that way with my most recent ex, to an extent.

 

He and I both have growing to do before we can be as serious as we wanted to be with each other. I wish we would've met when we were both "grown", so we could just be together, forever.

 

At the same time, everything is a learning experience, and I am glad we both had the experience of each other. I also know that what is meant to be will always find it's way.

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yeah I have. A former co worker and I .. we worked together for about 8 years and we got along really great, we went out as friends a lot, played pranks on each other.. most people thought we were having an affair, but we never did. When he started having more romantic feelings for me, I was happily married -- when that marriage ended, I was interested in him... and he just reconciled with his ex... when they broke up, he came back with 'those' feelings again, and I was too broken to give him the kind of relationship he wanted... then when I was ready again, he was getting serious about a lady he was dating... the timing was just never right.

 

Interestingly enough... the week before I moved here, I found out that he and his wife had separated and reconciliation was not looking good. I almost called him, but decided that I didn't want to open that can of worms... I needed to leave my hometown -- a guy stopped me when I was 18... didn't want that to even be a consideration this time. Besides, I have moved on....

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I know many people disagree with me, but I think if the timing is off, a couple that is right for each other will figure a way through it. I know many couples who did not meet at the ideal time in their lives, and it caused problems, but they figured out a way through it all.

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I know many people disagree with me, but I think if the timing is off, a couple that is right for each other will figure a way through it. I know many couples who did not meet at the ideal time in their lives, and it caused problems, but they figured out a way through it all.

 

I agree whole-heartedly.

 

Even if it means time apart UNTIL the timing is spot on.

 

If you are meant to be, you are meant to be. There is no way around it.

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Thinking about it, I have an interesting answer to this one...

 

Yes, there is someone I wish I had met at a different time. More precisely, I wish that the girl I am somewhat interested in now had not met me at all until six or seven years in the future. I understand that that may sound strange, so I will try to explain.

 

I am in high school and really it does nothing for me as a person. Not being particularly social, I am also the binary opposite of what most people my age would consider the ‘ideal’ (you know, the charming, noisy individual who only sobers up once a month and bounces between shallow relationships like some sort of hormone-crazed rabbit). Long story short, she simply sees me as the creepy, smart guy who has nothing better to do with his time than become creepier and (potentially) smarter. To be brutally honest, that is an important aspect of my personality, but had she come along in a few years time I could have made something of myself and she might have seen me in a somewhat more appealing light. Not to mention the fact that (fingers-crossed) people at that age might actually see maturity and commitment as a good thing.

 

As it stands, I am stuck because I met her too early (of course, there is the school of thought that she is never going to grow up and would never be interested in me – but let’s not be pessimistic). I’m not about to change, because I am not at all confident that it will get me anywhere. Besides, I am who I am...

 

OK, rant over for today. Bravo OP for starting an interesting conversation.

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I have two responses and both are a bit whingy but ah well ... you started it, lol

 

First is real quick and emo-driven so don't respond: if I ever meet that special person I wish I met them now/this year rather than years and years later with all that wasted time for love/romance/(and sex gotta admit) in my 20's.

 

Second is also a little on a different angle. There's a girl who I eventually asked out and she said No. But on the rare occasion I wonder what would happen if I met her a little earlier when I wasn't so busy. When I first met her there were signs she was single, like going to this party/function without a partner and overheard her friend/colleague making a joke about a post it note "is that a phone number? ". Anyway just with how I worked at the time I only saw her on a few occasions. When I finally got around to - and the guts - asking her out she said how she was already with someone.

She did give other reasons for saying No so I'm not saying the result would be any different, nor did I ever know for sure she was single before, but yeah, it just sometimes crops up unfortunately.

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Totally. I met this guy who I was physically attracted to, but after spending more time with him, it was more than just physical attraction. We dated for about a week but at the end, we went our separate ways because he had to leave the country. And we both don't want a long distance relationship. The timing is really bad because if not, then we could be together. It's a pity but no hard feelings.. maybe if we're in a relationship, everything would not be as perfect as I imagined it to be.

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I know many people disagree with me, but I think if the timing is off, a couple that is right for each other will figure a way through it. I know many couples who did not meet at the ideal time in their lives, and it caused problems, but they figured out a way through it all.

 

I agree with you Lady, except in the case of meeting someone who is married. Sometimes this can lead to an emotional affair type situation. I know this isn't what you meant. But I thought I should point it out for those who think they've met the love of their life but he/she just happens to be married, and so the timing is off.

 

For the most part I think it's true that even if the timing is off, a couple can figure out a way through it if there's enough communication and commitment and luck.

 

Sure, I sometimes fantasize about how things might have been different if I'd met a certain ex at a different time, especially my first love who was my best friend in my 20s - we broke up because we were both too immature. But if we're not together now, I doubt we'd end up together even if we'd met at a later time. That's assuming that a different time would be a better time. I'm still in touch with him very casually since he's married and has a family now. I still feel a connection to him because of our shared past but I see the ways in which we've grown in different directions.

 

There are always exceptions, though. Just look at Batya and her husband! They dated and broke up and then started dating again years later when the timing was better.

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