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Snooped again...


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Hi Jla

 

Well you looked and it hurt you, so hopefully you won't do it anymore because it'll continue to hurt if you do. Those social network sites cause all sorts of problems in relationship breakdowns if you let them. You say she is apparently happy and that is where the problem lies because people can write any old twaddle on there.

 

Your mother is a wise lady - listen to her. Turn it around - it is not what you have lost, it is what she has lost, though I know it is hard to see this perspective when you are hurting.

 

Next time you feel tempted to go snooping, why not come here and post instead because you will always find support here. It is also very theraputic to write this stuff down.

 

Take care of yourself, eh?

 

Mark

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I still have the snooping problem too from time to time. Most of the time it makes me feel worse, so I don't know why I still do it. Finally I came up with a reward system for myself, where I put aside a dollar every day I don't look and then if I do look I have to take away 5 dollars. Then once I get a good amount of money saved, I'll use it to do something fun or buy myself something frivolous as a reward. It's kind of silly, but it helps me stop myself when I'm thinking of snooping.

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I recently looked at my ex's FB, too. Yeah, it hurt. It especially hurt when I realized that all of her friends have added her new boyfriend to their "friend's lists" and vice-versa when they never added me to theirs. I never treated them badly and we all got along great. I considered them my close friends, too. What a disappointment and complete let-down.

 

Anyway, I feel for ya. I truly hate those things (Facebook, MySpace, etc.) because it seems like the only thing they're good for is drama. The only reason I have a FB account is because so many of my friends use it. Otherwise, I would've stayed away from it forever.

 

I know it's easier said than done, but try everything you can to never look at that crap. Even go as far as deleting your account for a few months (at least) to ween yourself from that desire.

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I still have the snooping problem too from time to time. Most of the time it makes me feel worse, so I don't know why I still do it. Finally I came up with a reward system for myself, where I put aside a dollar every day I don't look and then if I do look I have to take away 5 dollars. Then once I get a good amount of money saved, I'll use it to do something fun or buy myself something frivolous as a reward. It's kind of silly, but it helps me stop myself when I'm thinking of snooping.

 

This is actually a very good idea.....

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I keep snooping too - on him and his friends who are no longer on my list!

I was obsessed for a while constantly seeking for info on what he's doing, new pics, who what when... It preety much sets you back from your own life...

 

Now I go out myself and have no time to spy (that much lol)

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"..they want to convince themselves they are that damn happy" hah you made me chuckle with that line.

 

Yeah..snooping is never good. Every time I ever snooped I always felt like I was letting her win, on top of seeing something I didn't want to see.

 

My ex pulls the same "I'm gonna call you soon" deal. Never happens. As you said, we have a better chance at being struck by lightning.

 

It's hard to believe they've lost more than us when they seem so happy. But everyone has lows. Your mom is right, though.

 

Anyway, stay strong.

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