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Don't burn your bridges, blow them up!


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I remember reading about a military commander who after invading an island set fire to his fleet of warships. He told his troops that there was no turning back since retreat was not possible. After victory, they could rebuild the ships and leave.

 

I have been in NC with my ex for about two months now. Actually, she has initiated contact twice on Instant Messanger, to which I have briefly responded. In any case, I made a decision a few weeks ago that if she ever messaged me again I would take this approach... I would not burn my bridges with her... I would blow them up!

 

She messaged me asking how I was doing and some random questions.

 

I politely told her that I wanted to focus on the future, that I tried to fix the past but could not. I was in a new state with a new job and new friends and a new future... I offered her best wishes.

 

Although I have not initiated contact with her in two months it was always lingering in the back of my mind that she would for some reason or another contact me. Every time she does I get very anxious and it throws me off for a few hours to a few days. I am OVER the relationship, but obviously still have some feelings for her deep down inside.

 

This was not an easy decision to make but I think I made the right one. I will not contact her, she will not contact me... and we can each live our own lives. I feel better.

 

Thanks for listening.

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Hehe, I like your twist on the philosophy…to blow up the bridge instead of just burning… haha. I tend to burn every bridge…mostly because I realized that deep down inside there was a reason I wanted away from that person…and usually to make me want to feel I needed to go as far as “no contact” to separate myself…there’s no reason I’d want that person back in my life, even as a friend…

 

Good job though. Hopefully you’ll both live happier lives. =)

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It's been two years since my divorce was final and I STILL get a little twinge of anxiety when I see an email or message from my Xwife. Now it's no more than a split second but it's taken a long time to get here. I used to get cold sweats, shaking, anxiety... the whole works. And like you mentioned... it would last anywhere from a few hours to an entire day.

 

Sounds like you're on the healing road though. Don't stress too much about how you're being affected. Two months is not that long of a time to try to get over the pain.

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My bridges have already been pulverized the minute I walked out on him.

 

Funny how he dumped me but I was still the one who literally upped and left. He broke up with me on the first day of an out of town trip, and I decided to leave the next day even though we originally planned that we would spend the last two days together as a means to get closure. Whatever, I could get closure on my own, and I got it indeed.

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121+ Moving On Quotes
121+ Moving On Quotes

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