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Why doesn't he want me?


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I'm going out with an amazing guy, it's going really well we get on fantastically are good friends and there's lots of mutual caring/chemistry.


it's only been 2 months but feels longer as we've worked together for 2 years.....


We haven't slept togehter yet, we've done, ahem - 'other stuff' and always have lots of foreplay which is lovely........ it's come up in conversation now I have been starting to feel like he doesn't want me or is holding back for some reason (I haven't told him that)but he brought it up and said that he doesn't have a particuarly high sex drive and is perhaps being 'lazy' which hurt a bit didn't seem to make sense as he pays me lots of attention in that sense.


I thought it might be that he wasn't sure about me, but he says how much he loves me and i do believe him - he's talking about us going on holiday etc so I know he's in it for the long term.


He did then say that he is worried about perfomance, that everything between us is going so well he doesn't want that to be a disappointment......... I don't really see it that way, I want to make love with him to be close to him and share it with him- which I told him and it seemed to reassure him........


I'm not sure what to do i've told him that I want him when we are together but am not comfortable with making a move in that sense!


Should I be concerned or just be patient?

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I say just be patient. He has done so much with you, all the foreplay would not have been done if he did not like you that much, in that way, or want you, in my opinion.


Maybe he has done everything that he has done with you, but he did the sex with the other girl and it turned out badly. he dont want that to happen with you, he dont want to lose you. maybe not, maybe its something else?

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>>he doesn't have a particuarly high sex drive and is perhaps being 'lazy'


You have to listen to what people tell you. He's right up front avoiding sex and telling you he has a low sex drive and is perhaps too lazy to engage in sex.


Is that what you want for yourself? If in the beginning he can't work up the interest in it, after a couple years you may get none at all.


Just be careful with this... you need to talk to him more and decide how important sex is to you, and if it's really important, unless he has a really good excuse (i.e., he's a virgin and afraid to tell you that), i'd move on to someone else.

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I agree with BeStrongBeHappy.


He has been very honest with you. You are doubting him, just because you have a different approach to intimacy. But people are different. If you want things to work out with this person you have to be patient and give him the time he needs.


If it is just a question about performance anxiety, I'm sure that patience and positive encouragement (instead of pushing him) will solve this.


If it is a question of different levels of sex drive, you have to decide how important it is for you in a relationship and if this might be a deal breaker. - This is not being shallow, this is being honest with who you are and what you want/ need in a relationship

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Keep suprising him, try giving him lots of blowjobs!!

drink some water and keep some in your mouth and then,go

slow and speed up, do it every night, Dr DELICOUS ORDERS=)



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