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The beast is trying to break free.


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I'm 3 weeks single (not by choice). Not thinking about her is working wonders! My sexual desieres where unfulfilled, she just wasnt ready for more i guess. Or maybe she just wasnt aware that i wanted to spend that kind of time with her much more often. Anyways Valentines day this girl is throwing her self at me, we end up at her place but i just wasnt feeling ready for anything, so i didn't do anything with her. Got her number and hotmail. She's not even that good looking now that i think about it. I was buying some groceries for my brother the other day and OMG all the beautiful women i noticed. I was out right staring like "Wow, would you look at her" type of stare. It wasnt an aquard or rude stare, i was real sly about it. I had just gotten off work and was still in my fatigues so i was getting a lot of looks to begin with. This one girl (same shopping trip) stopped about 3 feet infront of me and gave me an up and down full body "check him out" look. I guess what i'm feeling is that recently i have been really horny. Come on, i'm 19 and going through my sexual peak. Or so the scientists say.


The girl i met on valentines day is the best friend of my long time childhood friend D. The girl i met is sort of shy when she's not drunk so D has been trying to secretly hook us up. Inviting me out to watch movies all night. Just the 3 of us. Then it hit me, "man we could bust out some booze and probably have a 3sum, we all enjoy drinking!". Probably wont happen but it was a thought. Now if you've read my previous posts and know a little about me, then you'd know that this is very out of character. Oh yes and i've never had sex, was sort of hoping for that special some one to trade my virginity with. She came and left. Now i dont really seem to care, right now i guess i just want to have fun. Now maybe this is just my sexual frustration showing itself and trying to bust out of my pants. Or because i just broke up? I dont really know, but i've been contemplating acting on my sexual impulses. You know when Doctor Bruce Banner gets really mad, too angry and he explodes into the Incredible Hulk? Thats sort of what it feels like, just waiting to explode. My main worry is going to be "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!?" after i do the deed and let out the hulk. And then regret it after. I was waiting 2 years with my x and nothing came of it. I'm not so sure that my current sexual desires will let me fall inlove with some one, as much as it would be lust. Maybe i should waite again for that next special someone. I dont really know what i want right now.


Any insight? The beast is building and solo sex isn't really working...

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