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Is he really that into me?


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So, I just got done reading the book/watching the movie "He's just not that into you" and my question is a simple one: Is he really into me, or not? The answer can be as blunt as you want, I just want honest opinions. The world is riddled with guys that, charming though they may be, are not always in it for the long haul. And if that's the case, thats fine, I would just much rather know NOW, so that I can find someone that IS. The reason I'm asking on a forum is because I love him, and sometimes love makes it harder to notice some things that others might...

Also, what are some signs he IS in it for the long run?

I will give you the gist of things as best I can, and you can make your judgements accordingly... Guys, your opinion is highly appreciated here.


- Pursued me even though I was dating someone else

- Wrote love letters, tells me he loves me, cuddles a lot, does sweet little things etc etc...

- Drives 3 1/2 hours one way to visit me at college every weekend

- Doesn't always respect the opinions of my parents, or try to get them to like him (not that he's being a * * * * to them, but he never really makes an effort)

- Doesn't call very much, mostly texts

- He often can't remember my middle name- Renee

-When I am home from school, he usually wants to hang out at his house, not where I live with my parents (not sure about this one, I don't wanna feel like a middle-schooler either, but i don't know if thats the same reason he has)

- Coyly pushes me to do things I didn't really want to do at first- such as transferring to a school closer to him, so he doesn't have to drive so far (even though I was technically gonna transfer to another school anyway... just one that was even further from home)


Alright, go! What's your verdict?


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i don't feel like i got a good idea of your relationship out of all those tidbits. i do think that if you're questioning it, there's usually a good reason (not always!). my ex used to drive up 2 hours to see me every week as well. he used to do everything i asked/wanted but there's always a little feeling that he wasn't that into me. he broke up with me for no reason, out of no where. i'll never quite get that.


however, from what you're saying, i would say yes that he does like you. texting instead of calling doesn't mean anything unless he takes forever to answer and doesn't make real plans with you - just does what he want/whenever he feels like it.

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As Purpleduckie says, not really enough to go on.


The things you have said don't necessarily mean he isn't a long termer. Talking on the phone wasn't always a thing I liked to do, even with my girlfriends of old, as I found calling a little confrontational - just means he might not be the best speaker if he can't see you. I've not gotten along with a partners parents before, that really doesn't mean anything about longevity of the relationship.


What does say he is definitely interested is the 3.5 hour drives every weekend BIG CLUE, that is a lot of effort if he only wanted a short term thing. If he was just after a bit of fun, there are plenty of women closer that he could get it on with. On top of that, he doesn't all that romantic stuff and wanted you enough to think you might want to be with him even though you were with someone else. If I wanted a short term thing, I wouldn't be chasing around someone elses girlfriend...


Sounds like he is really into you. But what about you? You are questioning his motives... but is it doing it for you? Perhaps you need to put your own wants under the microscope and determine if you are worried because it is you who is insecure and are not sure about the relationship...

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It looks like he's into you, OP. You don't peel an orange and not eat it. If he wanted some quick thing or wasn't into you he definitely wouldn't be travelling to see you every weekend, wanting you closer, texting you, etc. Texting is just easier because as you know you can do it whenever and wherever. Phone calls require both people to not be doing anything and be in the mood to talk. I love my friends and family but I hate chatting to them on the actual phone.


And as far as not remembering your middle name...it's a guy thing. Years ago my mom painted our living room green (like a mint green color) and bought a new blue leather couch. Before, the walls were white and the couch was old and gray and made of material. It looked dramatically different!! My dad came home from work, went to the kitchen and got something to eat, sat down on the brand new couch, and flipped on the TV. After a few minutes he asked why we were all staring at him. He seriously hadn't noticed!!! Many men just don't pick up on things like we do. Basically, it seems to me he's into you. Are you into him?

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Thanks for all the answers, everyone. It helps to get other people's perspectives on things.

And I am more into this guy than I have ever been with anyone, and I think the reason I'm questioning it is because its kind of scary to feel THIS strongly about someone for the first time. Maybe I am just afraid of getting hurt, and I'm being overly cautious.

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