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Why does my ex still try to contact me?


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I posted long ago about how my ex treated me like complete garbage and left me stranded in another state. We dated 3 separate times and the third time I thought we were really going somewhere, but it turned into crap for whatever reason. I've forgotten about it and moved on. About 6 months after this happened, she sent me an e-mail apologizing and saying how she was in the wrong with everything. I replied and told her that I was getting over it but it will take time to forgive her. She asked to arrange a time to meet for coffee, and I complied. We hung out for awhile, and went back to her house and it seemed like old times again. For about a week straight we talked on the phone and hung out. Then she vanished again. Wouldn't return calls, wouldn't e-mail, etc. So I thought it was over once again and didn't try to contact her.

 

Around November, she sent me a text asking how I was doing. We talked for about 5 minutes through texts and she stopped. Then again in December she got ahold of me through e-mail, finding out how I was. I didn't respond. This past month she's really been bugging me, and I think it's mostly because I'm in a new relationship. I was eating dinner with my girlfriend and I got a text from my ex with a picture message of her in a bikini. I was like what the hell? Then today she tried adding me on myspace...

 

I just think it's odd how she keeps trying to get back into my life at random times. I've made no effort to contact her for months yet she doesn't get the hint. I have no interest in her anymore, not even as a friend. I just don't care.

 

Do I have to put it bluntly for her? Or will she eventually get the hint?

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it sounds like she enjoys having the attention and will go out of her way to get it. just ignore it. if it keeps coming up like that, you will have to tell her bluntly: "I'm not interested in maintaining any sort of relationship with you, friendship or otherwise. Please stop contacting me". Then ignore any effort she makes after that.

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You really need to go into no contact. And I mean going to extreme lengths no contact. Block her emails, texts, etc... etc.. don't hang with mutual friends if they cannot keep their yap shut about her, and definitely do not speak one word to her. Unless you really like being jerked around by this woman. Some people are into humiliation, but have trouble reconciling it so they post here. If you like being treated like second best, keep talking to her.

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You really need to go into no contact. And I mean going to extreme lengths no contact. Block her emails, texts, etc... etc.. don't hang with mutual friends if they cannot keep their yap shut about her, and definitely do not speak one word to her. Unless you really like being jerked around by this woman. Some people are into humiliation, but have trouble reconciling it so they post here. If you like being treated like second best, keep talking to her.

 

I used to fall for her ****, but that's back in the day when I still had feelings for her. Now I could careless about her or what she's doing. I think she's trying to hold on to that last thread of hope for me because she liked the attention I gave her and I KNOW that no other guy will ever go to some of the lengths I did to make her happy.

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Sounds very similar to a situation I once had a few years ago. Regardless of your age, I feel that myspace is a little high-school. And from what you tell us, you aren't in HS. I'd delete the myspace.

 

Secondly, your ex just wants attention. They can tell when they aren't front and center of your thoughts. When I got back to school and had a new girl that I was talking to, my ex came over one night and tried to get in bed with me! A little extreme! But you get the point. Ex-flings want attention. Think if the tables were turned. In a sick way, we all want the attention of one person lapping after us. Don't give her that satisfaction and stick with the new girl.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I had to laugh when I read the part about her sending you a picture of her in a bikini. How immature.

 

I agree with the others - go extreme NC. If you encourage her any more she could try to sabotage your relationship with the new girl.

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