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First of all sorry for the lengthy post. I don’t even know where to start on this. I am in love with a girl who always tells me that our relationship is over. When I first met her I quickly fell in love with her. Now we have been going out for almost 2 years and I am still madly in love with her or I wouldn’t be having this problem. I don’t even know where to start. These stupid little problems have been occurring for about a year now. Sometimes I cannot even talk to her. She gets so mad at little things which ruin her day. Sometimes it’s not even me who she gets upset with but I’m there after the fact. Before I describe my next problem I guess I should share some inside information. My family is not your typical family. We are Italian and for Italians many of us sure do not act like the stereotypical Italian family does. My father came to Canada when he was approximately 17 losing his father at the age of 12. His Uncle owns a dealership so he got work there in the 70’s. He had done various jobs met my mother got married at a young age as my mother got pregnant at 16. So my mother was 17 and my father was 21 when they got married. My father finally opened up a couple of pizzerias with some friends and family members. He bought himself a Condo and everything was great. Well eventually my father hung out with the wrong friends and got introduced to drugs. Heroin to be exact. My father was then hooked. For those of you who do not know the effects of this drug please look it up. My mother obviously wanted him to stop and he would tell her that he couldn’t. My mom eventually ended up taking the drug to prove to him that she could quit and it was not that hard. Well sure enough she also got hooked. At this point my parents had 3 kids (2 older sisters and myself). The business didn’t last although it was doing extremely well. The younger sister ended up going to live with my grandparents in Italy and they pretty much raised her for her entire life. At the age of 12 my older sister was often left taking care of me who I believe was 6 months at the time. I do not know why my grandparents could not take care of me and my older sister as well. That till this day remains a mystery. Eventually my parents end up going to Germany to get help so my sister and I moved in with my Aunt in Italy and eventually we were sent to basically an orphanage. I believe we stayed there for about 6 months until finally our parents came back to get us. At this point my mom was cured but my father was still struggling. We moved to Germany for about 6 months and finally moved back to Canada. While in Canada my mother still continued to deal with my father’s habits. I still till this day remember finding a bunch of needles wrapped up in a paper bag when we moved from that place. We eventually moved and things started getting better. My dad would work occasionally but most of the time we were on welfare. There had been problems with my older sister at the age of 16 and I remember her running away from home and my parents allowing her. Eventually she came back. My mom became pregnant again and gave birth to my younger brother. At about the age of 12 or 13 we moved out of this apartment as there were cockroaches all over. My parents didn’t pay the rent so we got evicted. My grandparents (from my mom’s side) and my father could not get along so my mom went to stay with her parents with my brother and my dad and I went to his uncles. We stayed there a bit and eventually my dad had an argument with his uncle so my father, mother, brother and I moved into a shelter. The shelter had us staying at motels for about 6 months. My sister also came but on her own and had a son with her ex boyfriend. I continued to take the bus to go to school in grade 8 and 9. It was about a 1 and ½ hour bus ride but I did it missing a lot of school. Eventually my mom wanted a divorce so she took my brother and went to a women’s shelter. She gave me the option to stay or to go with her but I decided to stay as I loved my dad and if I was not there he would get kicked out of the family shelter. We stayed there for a bit and eventually moved to a scrummy area while my mom and brother moved to government building. I suspected my dad of using drugs and I was right. I know he had problems as I would speak to my mom all the time and my mom and dad were still on talking terms. It was not the same stuff like before but still some severe stuff. Eventually my dad and I moved again but I eventually went to stay with my sister as my dad and I did not get along. Eventually I moved back with my dad and I remember him coming to me saying that he needed help. He made me hold his money for him so he would not spend it on stupid stuff. I remember he came to me crying saying that he was sorry and asked for my help. He struggled and I think till this day he is still recovering doing better everyday (I hope). Eventually my dad and I moved again and he got back together with my mother. My older sister was now approx 26 the second one was 25 I was about 17 and my brother was about 5. My dad went to live with my mom and I lived in a basement apartment on my own for about 9 months while I went to college. I then figured out that I wanted to become a police officer to help serve the community. I hang around some dumb friends who I no longer speak to but often went out and partied. I then met my current girlfriend. At this point my dad said he couldn’t pay for that apartment anymore so I needed to go live with them. While I was there I felt weird. I felt out of place and all I could keep thinking about was seeing my girlfriend. I stayed there for about a week and moved to my grandparents. I got a job close to them so living where my parents were living was next to impossible or at least hectic. I spent about 2 months there and I almost went crazy. My grandparents were very strict and tried to spend as least as possible. They eventually made me pay $25 a week to stay there. I had to be home by 10 as that is when they went to bed. I was not allowed to shower everyday but 2-3 a week. I could not wear clothes once but I had to wear them twice as it was a waste of water. There were many problems like this. My grandmother would complain to my mother about my not helping. I am the type of person who if I am not at my own home I need someone to tell me what to do and I will do it no problem. I always cut the grass and things like that. After 9 months of dating my girlfriend I moved in with my girlfriend’s house. Her mother and father had recently divorced so in her household there is her mother, brother, sister and herself. I always did things around the house. I basically painted every room, installed laminate flooring, changes light fixtures, planted the garden, took down bushes, fixed their doors etc. I even bought them a washing machine as there’s had broken. Her family absolutely loves me and I love them. They have been so great to me.

So now the problem I mentioned before. I told my girlfriend everything about this and she spoke to my sister who basically raised me and as a result she does not understand how my parents could do that. Also my mother is depressed and does not do much. Her apartment is a mess. My girlfriend says that she can live in a government building but it doesn’t have to be messy and dirty like it is and I agree on that. I also bring up the fact that she is depressed and is on anti depressants to which she tells me that I always say that and its old and stuff like that. My mother never says for us to come over and when she goes to my grandparents who live in a nice huge house she rarely calls me to tell us to come. She will occasionally. My girlfriend does not like my grandparents because a) when they first met her they kept calling her by ex girlfriend’s name. My grandparents are very old and are very forgetful but they do not mean anything by it and say sorry. My girlfriend gets upset and would usually take it out on me. So started saying how they liked my ex girlfriend so much so I should be with her and stuff like that. I could care less about my ex girlfriend. My girlfriend also says how my grandparents never invite us over and I tried to explain to her how my grandparents are. Everyone is basically always invited. Every Sunday they have a big meal but we just have to call and let them know at least 1 day before as my grandfather will take out meat from the freezer. They do not call everyone and invite them. They leave that up to us. For events like birthdays we are expected to come but we need to call. My girlfriend feels the need to be invited all the time. When I try to explain things to her she tells me how I always defend them. I mean yes they are wrong but they are still my grandparents. My mom used to call all the time but she was hit by a car a few years back which nearly killed her but killed her dog and ever since that day she has become worse. She calls approx 2 times a week now instead of every single day. My girlfriend always asks why doesn’t she call you all the time to see how you are doing and stuff like that. She tells me that they could care less about me. My sister that was raised by them is having her own problems as she had a kid and her husband is an alcoholic. We got into a fight and didn’t call me for a while. My sister sent me a text saying that she missed and my girlfriend got mad saying that it’s wrong to say I miss you to your brother. Also every time I talk to my mother we always say I love you. After about 10 months of dating my girlfriend brought to my attention that she thought it was wrong and wanted me to stop so I did. My girlfriend always tells me when we argue that she doesn’t trust me and that our relationship is not working. I am not like many guys out there who go out with friends and stuff like that. I am the simple type that likes to stay home or go out for small gatherings with my girlfriend and friends. There is tons more and I could go on but I think I have written enough. I do not know what to do. What to try. She says she has so many problems with me but I do try my best to make her happy. I love her and we always speak about getting married and she always jokes about how my family is going to sit near the door. I understand how she is and my mom could try to invite us more and things like that but why can’t she understand certain things. She always says how if we get married that my family isn’t allowed over. My girlfriends grandmother always tells her to invite my parents but my girlfriend does not want to. My mom tried to call and talk and get to know her better but my girlfriend says that she doesn’t like talking on the phone so will often ignore her calls. I just don’t know what else to try. I am pretty sure I am not giving the full story but hopefully I wrote enough. What can I try to get her to see the world through my eyes? What can I do to show her that I do love her and that she can trust me? What can I do to make her stop stressing so much? What can I do?

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My eyes are aching and my head is spinning after reading only half of that.

 

To summarise, I think your girlfriend is insecure and you just make her worse, because you are so emotional and insecure yourself. You need to lighten up a little I think. Sounds like a lot has gone on in your past, which has really affected you, but you really need to try and forget about all that stuff and look to the future and build up your life, cause it seems you are just living in the past.

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I want to give an advice...................... Plz repost ur blog making it a bit short and crispy and write in more detail ur actual prob........... To be honest I cudnt understd wats the actual prob between u and ur girlfrd........... I want to help u... Then only I think I vl be able to suggest..............u sth..........

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