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Being dumped for someone else!


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How can someone who is your best friend just stop loving you in the blink of an eye and start loving someone else while they are still with you? Im 4 months into the break up and shes still eating away at my heartstrings even though i havent been in contact with her for the whole 4 months. I keep seeing pictures of her on Facebook accidentally. and i still think shes gorgeous. i thought we were made for each other. always told each other how much we loved one another and how we couldnt imagine being with anyone else. she told me that stuff more than i told her. but she then gets close to her boss at work and cosies up to him and now theyre together. how can she do this to someone shes loved for 2.5 years and known for 4 years? how can she choose an overweight drinker, a bit of a pig, someone who is 9 years her senior (shes only 20 and still a bit immature) and has no prospects as hes only a bar manager. how can she choose him over me when ive been there for her thru thick and thin, when shes been upset and through her driving lessons, uni course and supported her when she was feeling down?? She's let me down. I loved her so much and she knew that. I know shes made a mistake because we were so great together, and i know a lot of people will say it obviously wasnt meant to be. but i know shes made a mistake. He's her f***ing boss. She went into a relationship with him 2 weeks after dumping me! But i know she dumped me for him. Will she realise eventually that she has made a mistake? Because i cant believe she has just thrown away the best thing that ever happened to her. I know she still cares for me, as she asks my friends about me and still thinks im hot. Im confused and still not over this! Im pretty sure i dont want her back, just want the satisfaction to see her realise just the full extent of what shes done. and maybe i can forgive her and be friends after then. Please help!

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I'm pretty sure somewhere down the line she will realise what a huge mistake is made and when she does she will probably want to get back with you.

 

Don't beat yourself up over it cause it really is out of your hands. All you can do now is heal and find someone else who is more mature than her.

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Dude trust me I understand you confusion. My ex did almost the same exact think to me but instead of 2 weeks later it was 2 days later. Read this thread. It would make it hurt less but it will give you a little peace of mind

 

 

 

My advice to you it trying to not think about her. Anything that reminds you of her, put it away, any pictures you have on your computer, delete them or save them to a disc and put the disc away. Keep busy and try no to think about her. Videogames works wonders in keeping your brain focused of something else. Just try you hardest to live your life and move on. She might realize her mistake and come back and she might not, but don't live your life on the hopes that she will.

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What a "confused" girl. The only thing you can do is let her be and get her out of your life for the time being. When her new relationship falls apart (as rebounds or GIGS relationships seem to do), she'll probably remember all that you've done, and maybe she'll come back. But it will do you little good to stress yourself over it now.

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Right there with you except I dont wonder or ask much anymore (its been ~6months or so for me). Friends for 10 yrs together 8. Who was there as a friend when her now ex H was abusing her? yep me. Who was there when she just needed someone to talk to? Who was there to train her on his spare time when she might lose her job? There for advice? Who became the BF that "showed her how good a relationship could be"? best friend? yep...

 

Left like I never existed..never even broke up with me. I dont want to make her out to be a monster (she's not) and she has some problems because of her past. Mine hasnt realized (not that she would tell me if she did ) but I know she will at some point. Doesnt really matter anymore I dont think she has a chance with me anymore (it would take drastic changes on her part and I dont think she has it in her)...anyways my point is that she might regret it but dont hold out hope for that. Instead get her out of your mind the best you can, and when you cant try to think about things objectively and lock out some of the sentiment/etc. Really look at what went wrong and what it would take from her IF she wants to come back. Things are different now, she might have been a great girl for a time but she has changed from the person you thought you knew.

 

Dont worry, you'll grow out of this pain and confusion. Feels pretty good when you do

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I can really empathize with you on this one. You were there for her through thick and thin, you nurtured her and showed her what a great relationship is. Unfortunately, that's not what she's looking for. She didn't stop loving you in a blink of an eye, it took time and this is how things played out.

 

You have to let her live her life and live your own. She could be making a mistake, or it might be the best decision of her life. You're my age and there is plenty of more heartbreak and lovers ahead of you. Take it a day at a time and stick with NC. Less you know, the less you hurt.

 

You said it yourself, she's let you down, she's not who you expected her to be. You can't be friends right now, even if she apologized, you still haven't gotten over the relationship. You should remove her off facebook or deactivate your account for awhile, until you're okay. Keep working through it, it's tough but very rewarding to learn about yourself.

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Wow that's almost my story down to a T

 

I went and read your story, definitely some similarities there. Abuse and bad childhood does some pretty messed up things to ppl later in life, its unfortunate.

 

A little more about me:

After all the begging then the anger I think I have come full circle and feel bad/sorry for her(which is kinda how I felt in the beginning) because I dont really see a bright future for her(who knows maybe I'm wrong). I did make a big difference in her life and she changed quite dramatically for the better in the 8 yrs we were together, maybe that will be enough for her to find happiness. After looking back I dont really feel used because I encouraged it and I know her feelings for me were genuine. In the end I know she probably did things the way she did because she recognizes that it was hard for her to leave. In the past, after talking with her I could pretty much get her back anytime she got this way and she used to get mad at me for that I'm just so charming lol. I'm sure she thinks she is doing the right thing and didnt want to risk sliding back to me so she left without looking back. I dont know if any of this will strike a chord with anyone here but maybe it can help you find an answer to some of this confusion if you find it fits in your case too.

 

 

I guess there was just one hurdle we couldnt cross. Its too bad because I think we would have been really happy with each other had we crossed it. In the end all I know is that I treated her better than anyone ever has and while I certainly feel a loss, at least I dont have to feel regret.

 

IMO If you were good to them what else can you do? Play games and "win" sure but can you really do that forever. Tell you the truth I think I probably could have got her back yet again had I pulled out all the stops, instead I just left it up to her this time. Instead of me doing it all... Had I got her back we still had a problem that would not have been solved by doing it all for her again. I'd have liked a different ending (and who knows, life's weird that way anything can happen) but I know I made the right decisions about what to do.

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Yeah thanks guys. i dont want to want her back. i dont think it will happen. but all i want is for her to remember what i did for her. maybe we did need more excitement in our lives, but it should have been that we made the effort to do it for each other, instead she decided to move onto another guy. thats the immature thing about the situation. we were great together and she cant ignore that. i just wanna hear that she'll realise the mistake she made. but in the meantime i am improving myself. just hope she comes to her senses someday

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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