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Another Reminder Why Lingering Hope Should Be Squashed


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Hey folks. I described part of my situation around a month ago in another thread, but I'll summarize. I had a 4 month relationship with this girl before she ended it. We didn't end on bad terms and there was no begging on my end. I tried to get in touch with her around a month afterward to swap stuff we had at each other's places and plant the seeds for future friendship. I was basically shot down. She didn't want to see me and instead arranged a dinner date with one of my close female friends to do the exchange -- awkward.


I assumed she just wasn't ready, but I found out now -- about month after the exchange -- what the real reason was. Apparently, I was her rebound. I wasn't made aware of the full situation when we were together, but she dated this other guy for 6 months before me and they ended it because he moved out of the country. They remained friends during the time.


After the break up, she got in touch with him again. She claims to be in love with him. She's going on a trip soon to spend time with him and wants to move there and marry him when she finishes with school.


I thought I had myself back together and better than before. I've been on over a dozen dates since we broke up. But deep down inside, I still had this glimmer of hope that she'd realize her "mistake". She has pretty much zero interest in even talking to me given the situation though. Post-break up symptoms returned briefly. Lesson learned.


This girl will more than likely crash and burn with her ex based on what I've heard, but I'm finally peacing out and moving on for real. I know it's hard, but if you can squash that lingering hope, it'll surely do you a favor and avoid relapses like this.

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Depends on how you look at it I guess.


I mean, in this case, the reason behind her prior break up was pretty obvious and there wasn't much in the way of bad blood. Anyone in a relationship that ends in that sort of manner certainly has hope given the right circumstances.


She gave our relationship a shot and apparently was very into me for the first two months, but I know I started to lose track of myself and turned into a needy wuss. Had I not done that, it might have still worked out. But then again, she did mention her ex a little more than i thought was normal and I know she was drawing comparisons. I'm sure the distance made him seem larger than life too. It's tough to compete with that.

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