drbombay Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Hello, I have a possible LDR developing in San Diego (I'm in Tennessee) but I'm having doubts. Here are the particulars of the situ: * Met her during a wedding weekend in SD. She was a neighbor of the bride (my friend). * Went out with her the day of the wedding (coffee, walking around a popular lake) and had great rapport/convo. * Although we were both at the wedding, we did not interact very much and she left early. * The next day, I left her a note at her door telling her that I enjoyed hanging out with her and if we could do dinner... she accepted. * Dinner went very well and we went to a coffee shop afterwards. * When I dropped her off I had that "we should kiss" moment but didn't do it. Wasn't sure about everything yet. * We have talked off and on even after I left SD but she is not good with keeping up with communication (a pet peeve of mine) even though we have both expressed numerous times that we like each other a lot. * I told her at one point that I wasn't sure that I wanted a LDR and she seemed to agree... even though we still like each other A LOT. So I am flying back out to SD in 2 weeks and I am clueless as to what I should do next. Any suggestions? Thanks! Bombay Link to comment
Mutley Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 * We have talked off and on even after I left SD but she is not good with keeping up with communication (a pet peeve of mine) I wouldn't pursue this for this reason right here alone, not to mention the ldr aspect of it. Link to comment
drbombay Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 I wouldn't pursue this for this reason right here alone, not to mention the ldr aspect of it. Thanks for the reply! I will say that she was honest about this part from the start. She told me that she has "interpersonal communication" issues with all her friends, not just guys that she is interested in. Not sure if that even matters but I thought I would add that to the mix.... You may be right though --- may not be worth an LDR.... Link to comment
Mutley Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I have two ldrs under my belt. They are a big pain. Link to comment
arwen Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I think LDR is quite difficult, and it takes two very committed people to maintain a healthy LDR. Her not being good at keeping up with communication... I am not so sure how to read that. I doubt that she would say something like that if she was completely-head-over- heels into you. And even if it is, she is implicitly warning you in some way. My first intuition is that she is in fact saying that she is not much into the idea of this relationship. Link to comment
drbombay Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 I think LDR is quite difficult, and it takes two very committed people to maintain a healthy LDR. Her not being good at keeping up with communication... I am not so sure how to read that. I doubt that she would say something like that if she was completely-head-over- heels into you. And even if it is, she is implicitly warning you in some way. My first intuition is that she is in fact saying that she is not much into the idea of this relationship. Interesting! hadn't looked at it in that way... I will say that she said the "I suck at interpersonal communications" statement in a panic after I was ready to jettison the whole idea of an LDR via an e-mail exchange to explain why I hadn't heard from her after a few days so I 'm not sure if she's stating a lack of interest or just trying to be honest about what's going on in her life. She said that she would work on getting better and she has tried but I think the problem is me... I am too confused as to what I want to do when I get to SD in a few weeks... I do like this girl a lot but I don't wanna walk into something I'm not ready for. Link to comment
girlnextdoor80 Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I would say do not go into it. LDRs are not everyone's cup of tea. Communication is the only thing that keeps it going. If one of you suck at that, its not going to work. Link to comment
Firiel Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 LDRs are tough. I'm in one right now, and despite the fact that I have never met anyone as great for me as my boyfriend, there are still times when it just gets so hard I almost wonder if it's worth it. If you are having doubts as to whether or not you should start an LDR with a particular person, chances are you probably couldn't. You need a lot of commitment and a lot of good communication to make an LDR survive, and it seems like both of those are somewhat lacking already. Link to comment
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