Why is her past affecting me?

[Zodia]

I love her, she says she loves me, but the feeling isn't there when I look in her eyes. It pains me to see her sometimes, knowing what see has done with another before me.

 

When we were first going out it was bliss up until the second week. She would mention her ex- more than was needed. She would tell me stories of them having pleasurable situations and envious moments. I didn't know what to think. I was overwhelmed with jealousy. I wanted to be in this kids shoes. She loved him like I would never known. (this kid was a complete jackass, and because of this kid I have had a deep-seeded hate toward anythign related to british) no offense to thoughs reading this entry if your british. She played the stupid card and said I didn't know that was bothering you so much. After that I heard less and less of this matter.

 

After a month she would bring this up in some way or another. Either she was "Thinking of the good times with him!" or she talked to him online. Even though when she did he blew up in her face and called her a slut and she expected me to give her sympathy. I have grown worse over the duration of this relationship. I don't want to leave this girl because I love her and right now I don't know what to do. Ever since these matters have festered inside myself, it has been a lot harder to control my emotions and anger is only going to make situations gross. I feel like she isn't quite the dream I once had. Can someone put some advice in my charity cup please.

[SwingFox]

Hello Zodiac,

 

Welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for sharing your concerns with us. I hope my input benefits you and helps you to make your next step.

 

I have to admit that bringing up a past could be very painful. It makes me wonder if I am actually the 'dream of her life'. What I suggest you is as effective as it is simple. Sit down with and talk to her about this. Vary sweet words and words of love with your words of concern. Explain to her that you have difficulties hearing about her past b/f and that it makes you feel insecure. Ask her for her input and then ask her the ultimate question, if she could try to avoid to talk about him.

 

I hope this helps you and I wish you good luck with your relationship.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Diggy51607306449]

I would have to agree with Swing Fox, past relationships can be hard to hear about, even on a limited basis. When its a daily event it could lead to tearing apart the relationship.

 

Like was said, talk to her, let her know that it discomforts you... either that or make her jelous by talking about your ex's all the time! HAHA wooo no dont do that, that could be very bad. I hope everything works out for you in the long run!!

[ascend01]

Hi,

I have been guilty of talking about past relationships a lot. After many mistakes I have finally realised it is not to be done and it really makes partners feel what you are feeling. I love it when my partner tells me that he is not interested in hearing about my ex's. Sometimes i have to remind him as well that I do not want that kind of information as it only hurts me.

Tell your partner how you feel and remember to love yourself first and let her come to you and don't do too much chasing.

Lots of luck and love in your journeys

Ascend