Help! I don't get "it".

[wowwow]

We were together for 4 years. We have broken up three times in those four years the last being in October. He always did the breaking up with me and dated others quickly. We were engaged twice.

 

We went out a couple times and talked frequently a few moths after this last break up. I decided to go full NC to get over him for good about about 6 weeks ago.

 

We emailed back and forth last week and he became jealous of the thought of me going away skiing with another guy. I did not say a whole lot and ended the conversations quickly.

 

We texted back and forth last night about 20 times and it seemed cool. I was always distant and did not give him much info. He told me he will always miss me and wanted to know if I missed him. He said he is not seeing anyone serious...just dating. I did not share any feelings.

 

I received a bunch of emails this morning with him striking up another conversation. He kept asking me if I had a boyfriend, if I was still online dating, etc. I remained cool.

 

Then I asked if he would like to do dinner sometime soon since we were chatting so much through email and text and he says maybe, then sends an email saying let me think about it, then sends another email saying he just can't and is sorry.

 

I said fine just have respect and be honest. I told him I would like to try and be friends, that we were just not good as a couple and that I had moved on. But, what was the big deal about hanging out for dinner. If we are going to email back and forth and text so much we might as well meet in person.

 

Well.....he writes back that there was so much drama and horrible tension in the past that I just don't understand. I sent a couple more emails saying how maybe I was wrong and enough time has not passed. I was nice. He has not responded.

 

What is he saying or trying to do here???????? Anyone out there get it?

[lana111]

who made the first contact?

[ladyjp]

Lana- I have almost the exact situation! We broke up ( only I broke up then he enforced it). I did Nc and online dating. He started texting and calling ( still is) but also dating some other girl. When I asked him about getting together he declined (2 weeks ago). Since then he is totally freaked that I am dating and is texting and calling and we have gotten together for lunch twice. He even has asked me about coming to Vegas with me in March. I say you need to STOP IMMEDIATELY asking him to get together. That is what I did. I stopped asking , stopped texting, stopped returning his texts. Then he noticed me. We are not back together as I have told him I want complete monogamy and being exclusive again and he has not told me he isn't going to see "her" anymore. However, I have his attention and it has only been by me stopping the initiative to see him and not responding to his texts for at least a day. When he asked me why I didn't and your gy will too, just say- oh just been busy. Give him the " I don't care attitude" and he will be back. Keep me posted

[wowwow]

I figured it out. Whoever he was dating must have fallen apart as he has signed back up on link removed. Now I understand all the emails and text wondering what I am up to all of a sudden.

 

Funny as his first few lines in his profile on match read as:

 

"Make sure you are NOT A NUT! or a complete phony! Just tired of the liars!!!! VERY TIRED! Just be honest! The future is there to take advantage of! It doesn't have to be normal and boring. Why do we accept the same things from people?"

 

See......there is always more to the story if you dig deep. He needs to heal obviosly. It's not me it's him. Yay!!!!!!