Jump to content

Sometimes I hate him, sometimes I don't. I'm confused!


Recommended Posts

I'd like to be friends with my ex, but I've recently found myself hating him more than not. I just don't think of him as a very good friend. He very rarely talks to me when we aren't in person. He can be downright insensitive and cruel at times, and whenever I'm with him, I find myself wishing I were somewhere else so I wouldn't have to deal with him.

 

So I find myself pulling away and becoming cold. That would be fine with me - I don't deserve to waste my time with someone who so clearly doesn't care - but I'm FORCED to see him every weekday for the rest of the school year. He's in two of my classes and sits next to me in both. He also comes off with my friends and I most days during lunch. Basically, at the expense of the rest of my friends and to keep things from getting ugly, I treat him civilly when I'm around him, but then he starts dogging me, acting why I'm being so cold and what he did wrong this time and why am I being so distant.

 

To complicate things, I can't tell him off or kick him out of my life, because I'm concerned for his. He has been seriously depressed lately, and contemplating suicide much more than any person ought. As angry as he makes me, of course I don't want to see him unhappy or drive him to do something stupid. So I feel like I'm trapped, forced to act friendly to this person who I really feel doesn't treat me well as a friend at all.

 

I don't know what to do

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If he's depressed to the point of suicide, realize that's he's essentially incapable of contributing to your friendship. If he asks you what's wrong, explain that you feel that he is being insensitive and cruel at times, and basically not acting like a very good friend. Do your best not to be emotional or accusatory. For example, if you have to tell him you're angry, start your sentences like, "I feel..." or "In my opinion...". If he doesn't change his behaviors, then tell him that you need some time and distance from him because the friendship isn't working out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If he's depressed to the point of suicide, realize that's he's essentially incapable of contributing to your friendship. If he asks you what's wrong, explain that you feel that he is being insensitive and cruel at times, and basically not acting like a very good friend. Do your best not to be emotional or accusatory. For example, if you have to tell him you're angry, start your sentences like, "I feel..." or "In my opinion...". If he doesn't change his behaviors, then tell him that you need some time and distance from him because the friendship isn't working out.

 

Unfortunately, I have tried talking to him about it, and nothing seems to help. He either gets angry, saying "every day I always do something wrong" and getting frustrated, or he gets really quiet and upset and then I immediately feel bad and worried for him.

 

I have hinted at my concerns that our friendship isn't working out, but I haven't tried actually talking to him about it. In a way, I'm almost scared to. If I pull away and distance myself, who will be there for him if he goes into a depressive and self-destructive spiral? I may not appreciate how he acts as a friend right now, but he's still a person who I once loved and who I have many fond memories of, and I can't leave him knowing that he may drown in the water on his own.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

i feel your pain hun....i have some days where i love him,but lately its been more that i hate him.its a horrible feeling..like if i saw him right now i'd kick him in the balls. he cant use suicide as a way to keep hold of you unless you let him and if he does it,it's not your fault. tell him you've moved on and he needs to do the same

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dream about your ex
Dream about your ex

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...