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don't know what i just did


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Hi,

I am a first year university student who has "accepted" that he's gay. I went on a date with a guy and we've been on a couple of dates. tonight he asked me if I wanted to be in an "exclusive relationship". I panicked and said "yes". he knows that this is my first gay relationship and said we could take it as slow as i liked. my problem is that i haven't fully accepted my gay-ness. I was taught that being gay was wrong. I know now that there is nothing wrong about it but I always dreamed of my future with a wife (and possibly kids). We went for dinner the other week and I hated being seen in public with him, afraid what random people on the street would think. Also, I live in a dormitory and cringe at the idea of my floor mates finding out. I'm just confused and want to know if people think it was the right move to say yes or should I be telling him no (after I've said yes). ANY ADVICE WOULD BE AWESOME!

nyc

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I think before you can have a serious relationship with anyone, gay or straight or, w/e... you need to learn to accept yourself as who you are, and be comfortable with it. If you are ashamed of who you are, you may be hurting the person you are attempting to create a relationship with. I think you need to come to terms, and accept who you are. Talk to him, tell him what you are struggling with. If he understands, im sure he can help you through it. If not, maybe its not the right time to be in a relationship

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I would say if you feel like things are moving too fast you should tell him. I think it may simply take some time to be more comfortable simply in your own mind being seen with him in public. Just because you are seen with him in public, doesnt neccesarily mean that there is a sign on both of your heads that you're a couple. I think it is a given though that being in a relationship is going to push you out of the closet, I dont think you are confused. You know what the issues are, talk to him.

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Well, if you're gay you need to accept at some point that it's NOT wrong to be gay, and that the "wife, kids, and dog" scenario is one of many acceptable ways to lead your wife, not the only one.

 

Do you want to be exclusive with this guy? Do you like him a lot? If you don't want to be exclusive because you want to date other guys, that's one thing, but if you don't want to be exclusive because you want to be straight, that's something else altogether.

 

It sounds like you have a very sweet guy in that he's willing to take this slow. Not all guys are so understanding. You lucky dog! Is he cute? If so, how?

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