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How to deal with boyfriend's friends?


Dressage7

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My boyfriend of 3 years and I separated for about 4 months last year and during that time he started hanging out with some people from work. They are pretty immature and mostly just get drunk every weekend and are not really my kind of people. He also began to act very immature when he hung around with them on a regular basis. However, now that we are back together, we have tried several times to hang out with these people and it gets very awkward. I don't know what to say to them, they don't seem to like me at all, and I end up making my bf uncomfortable because I am very quiet and distant. I know he wants me to have fun, but it is not easy with them.

 

One of the girls had a little thing for him while we were separated and although he was not interested, told her so, and told me about it, she seems the most unfriendly to me of all.

 

How do I deal with this? We don't see them all that often but now he is talking about a weekend camping trip with them in a few months and do not see how I can spend an entire weekend with these people.

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it sounds like perhaps he is not mature enough for you?

 

and that girl is being competitive I presume... how does he act with her? I hope he tried to make you comfortable and puts you first.

 

let him go and be with his friends on the camping trip? you don,t have to go... but I'd say this points to incompatibility maybe?

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He does put me first. He tries to make sure that I am okay and stays by me but I just have nothing to say to these people and I don't want to ruin him having a good time. I want to try and get along with them which is why I go with him.

 

The girl seems very uncompetitve actually. She seems to be fairly normal, but I don't think she knows how to act around me so she just ignores my presense. She is younger than me and seems fairly intimidated. (I know that sounds conceited but I think it is the truth). He assures me that he is absolutely not interested in her in any way other than friendship and I do believe him. He has always been honest with me and I have no reason not to trust him.

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It may sound like denial, but I happen to think that we are very compatible. We are best friends, we live together and enjoy it, we share similiar interests but each have our our hobby outside of one another. He may be a bit more immature than I am but he is 25 so I don't think that is uncommon.

 

We are generally terrific together and our time separated was due to my unhappiness within myself. I have reconciled that and have been better than ever for the past year. I just have no idea what to do in this situation? I feel kind of put out by the fact that he would hang out with people who don't like me, yet at the same time he does include me and wants things to be friendly between me and the friends. I don't want to ask him to not see them anymore because I would never feel right doing so. I thought about contacting the girl and seeing if I could extend my hand in friendship (or at least friendliness).

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