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Am i in the wrong?


Mjb

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Hay guys,

 

I went home from uni for a week last week and my friend that i live with spoke online to me tellin me one of the girls i live with and myself r too pally and leave people out. I live with 5 girls. 2 on my course and the other two on another course. Me and the girl i am too pally with r on the same course and we just muck around together like i do with them all, but we r good mates. we all get on really really well and the girl that said this too me is best friends with another who always go off and do their own thing and have jokes but i am the one gettin stick for it. Am i being totally out of order? i Got back yesterday from a week off and i wasnt greated like i normally am. The girl who said it is being funny with me as is the other two. My friend isnt back until tongiht but i honestly dont know what we have done for our other 3 roomates to feel like this. Please can someone tell me if i am being out of order.

 

Thanks guys

 

J x

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Wow, apparently your roommate thinks the laws of friendship from 3rd grade still apply. I'm quite certain you have the right to decide who you want to be friends with, and who you want to be closer to. You don't have to be equally friends with everyone. I would tell this girl that you two happen to be good friends, and while you like all the other girls, there is no rule that you must spend time with all of them equally. Much like how she is good friends with another roommate. You all don't have to spend equal amounts of time with each other on outings.

 

However, you should consider if they feel you are purposefully excluding them. If you two are always doing fun things together while the others are obviously available but you don't invite them, I can see how they might feel put-off. You don't have to always invite them along, but for the sake of harmony in your own home, try to include them more.

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I know and the funny thing is we all do stuff together.. never just two of us.. its always the five of us.. If i was just invitin one person i would be in thr rong but its always all of us.. which i dnt know why this has come to light. The other girl doesnt know, they havent said anythin to her cos they said they cant tlk to her like me. Its so pethetic. Do u think i should tell her or just leave it i dnt wanna cause anything, its just so stupid!

 

Thank you for you reply, i really apprichate it!

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I would probably tell the other girl that the other roommate is upset that everyone isn't included & see how the convo goes. Maybe you can be more discreet when you guys hang out with just the two of you.

 

And the girl that has the problem with the two of you hanging out... I would tell her it is nothing personal, sometimes the two of you just like to hang out and not make it a big group thing involving everyone. That way you don't have to figure out a time everyone is available & arrange plans to accommodate 5 people. Much like she likes to hang out just with one of the roommates sometimes.

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