Girl wants EX Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Hello everyone! First off just repeat in short about my story: I dated my ex for 4-5 weeks in total. We met about 8 times, spent 2 weekends together. Things went extremely fast between us: we did everything, also talked about future, such as moving in together, wedding style,... blablah... I was very into him after 4 weeks, and behaved a bit crazy (maybe quite crazy)... so he pulled back and I chased him hard without realizing what i was doing... So, he broke up with me, that was 2.5 weeks ago, during this period, I sent him 2 texts and 1 email first, he only replied to the email 1 week later (he mentioned that "after some time pass somehow we can be friends"). I replied to this email(short) 5 days later, and another casual text to him the next day. No Reply from him anymore. I finally determine go NC.... Here is my question: he said we can be friends later, does he really mean that? or just being polite? Or maybe he also wonders things might change somehow in the future? well I know him more than you guys of course...but what do men usually mean by saying that? I still want to be able to talk to him again in the future, I believe it's still possible the flame between us can appear again--under certain circumstances, since I was not ready for a relationship and I screwed it really good! Thanks a lot! Link to comment
sidehop Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 He may have been really scared of the situation... But personally when a guy says "we can be friends later" I honestly wouldn't count on it. A person who genuinely wants a friendship would probably say "we can still be friends". It's very possibly he needs more time...but at this point he should be left alone...and NC is probably your best bet. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Most people can sense when another still has their hope set on them, and this makes friendship impossible. Nobody wants to be friends with someone keen on manipulating them to come back. So the guy may be hoping you'll heal enough to be friendship material someday--but by the sound of things, that's a long way off and completely up to him. I'd clearly stop contacting him in any way, shape or form. The only shot you've got is to give him enough time and contact-free space to miss you. He needs to pick when or whether that happens--or it won't. In your corner. Link to comment
Girl wants EX Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 I understand better now. When he broke up with me, he said that we could be friends, and if I am in need of help, he would try to help me. But I refused to be friends--Twice! So in the email I sent him the next day, I said I changed my mind, and I want to be friends with him... (That is why he replied me "after some time we could be friends.) I made a wrong move right there, I realize... So yes, I will go completely NC, and see what will happen, and I will move on with my life. Thanks! Link to comment
Girl wants EX Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 He proposed we could be friends later. (At the beginning I refused him and said to him "I wish you will find your ideal woman soon") But why he hides his profile from facebook? because he doesn't want me to contact him? or he is playing "mr mysterious"? Is it needed to do so? even if I saw him online, it doesn't mean I would talk to him, plus I know his cell number, home address and office... Or he doesn't want me to know he will start dating someone soon? I'm confused... Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 He proposed we could be friends later. (At the beginning I refused him and said to him "I wish you will find your ideal woman soon") But why he hides his profile from facebook? because he doesn't want me to contact him? or he is playing "mr mysterious"? Is it needed to do so? even if I saw him online, it doesn't mean I would talk to him, plus I know his cell number, home address and office... Or he doesn't want me to know he will start dating someone soon? I'm confused... Sounds like he can tell any contact at all is not good for you, so he's removing himself from your vision. Don't overthink it, just accept that this is the best thing he can do for you right now. And don't contact him--at all. In your corner. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 When a guy states that he wants to just be friends later, he may just be saying it to be polite. He may have felt that you were smothering him during the time that you guys were seeing each other, thereforee he needed a break from you. I would stop "waiting" for him to come around and decide when he would want to be friends and whether or not he would change his mind or his feelings for you. Why should you wait around for someone when you could be out looking for someone else? Someone who won't mind the little things that you do. Start thinking of yourself and stop giving him the upper hand. Link to comment
Girl wants EX Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 yes, I am thinking for myself now, moving on, doing stuff good for me: reading, exercises, also started dating (but couldn't enjoy at all...) I have to keep myself away from trying to have a relationship, and just focus on career and get some new knowledges for the moment. But I can't remove him from my head... he is still there because I had good time with him.And I am a bit afraid he will date someone soon. I don't even know if I will really care about that or not....I never cry for him. Do you guys think somehow he still thinks about me? as he was very excited about me at the beginning, he was the one chasing me more than I did. He sent me texts every 2-3 hours.... Anyway, Thanks again! Link to comment
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