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What to do when you're forced to be with someone...help!!


Ideal

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Hello everyone,

 

I'm in the need of some urgent advice. This isn't about me, it's about a very dear friend of mine.

 

He's been with his girlfriend for about 2 months now, and she's kinda crazy...lol.

At first, he decided that he should give her a chance because she seemed to like him a lot, and he thought he liked her back, however he's still healing over a break up. After awhile, he just lost interest in her and didn't want to be with her anymore. Every time he tried to tell her that he didn't want to be with her anymore, she would just get really depressed and force him to stay with her. It got to the point where she even started to make threats about hurting herself if he left her. She's really into him, but he has no desire to be with her because she is way too clingy and obsessive. He told her that he doesn't want to be with her, and she isn't handling that well, but he's afraid about leaving her because he doesn't want her to do anything to harm herself.

 

How can he get out this relationship without causing his gf to do something stupid ? please help!

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staying just in order to "save" her from herself is not really helping her. If he wants out and he truly believes that she would go with her threads he should inform either her family or friends to be with her when he breaks up.

 

But it is her responsibility to learn to be less codependent and not stoop to emotional blackmail

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oh dear, The old I'll hurt me if you leave tactic:

 

Okay, obviously she has already globally declared herself, NOTthe RIGHT ONE FOR HIM. And simply put, he must make that separation, if he has concern however, he can always call the police, but he must step away. Her life is hers, to make or break, he does not have to factor himself. I advise he step away and cut that chord.

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He can't 'cause' his girlfriend to do something stupid - that's entirely her decision. In fact, it might be useful if she does because then she stands a chance of getting her emotional problems treated.

 

Once, a (now) ex-boyfriend, who was really messing me about, threatened to kill himself if I ended the relationship. I told him that if his life without me was really that bad, I would respect his decision. It was not easy to keep my cool under the circumstances, but I did.

 

Surprise, surprise, he didn't kill himself ...

 

I would advise your friend to say something similar. Then, if you really want to help, be there for him as he handles the feelings of guilt, and let him know where his responsibility begins and ends. He IS responsible for being honest and true to himself and her. He is NOT responsible for her reaction.

 

Hope this helps!

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I'm really surprised to hear someone would behave this way after only two months. She's trying very hard to control and manipulate someone she hardly has been with. He should definitely get himself out of this one because if this is how she's behaving already with him, I can't imagine how bad the future would be!

 

If she threatens to hurt herself, he should call the police.

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