Will they ever regret leaving you for someone else?

[TMifune]

Yeah I wondered if my ex was a narcissist, don't know if it's true though. I believe a narcissist doesn't have much emotion, right? Well my ex surely had emotion however she did some other odd things like one time she was mad at me and she litterally replaced everything in my appartment, even removing paintings and that sort of thing... Also getting mad for no reason. She only has a few 'friends', if a person did something she did not like (small things) she would never forgive that person and she would remain to dislike them even after years, I guess after 6 years she also started to dislike me. She disliked my friends but in the last year of our relationship she also started to dislike my mother and started to find things to blame my mother.

 

There's not much point in speculating whether someone's a narcissist or not. It's enough to know that they are toxic to you and you need to avoid them. The one thing you get from assuming that they are a narcissist is that when they get in contact with you you won't want to respond because that's just giving them supply. And whether or not they are, probably the best thing for you is to have something that reinforces the desire to not communicate with them.

 

Odd question....when your ex said she didn't like your friends and your mom was she saying it in a "I don't want you around them anymore" kind of way. People who have a desire to abuse or manipulate you will often try to separate you from you support system, your close relationships.

[Kehv]

Got a few random questions, hopefully some of you want to answer them.

 

Last contact with my ex was a simple "Congratulations!" on my birthday... my response was "Thanks!". Here birthday is coming up soon and I wonder if I should congratulate her back or not. If I congratulate her she will know I'm thinking about her, if I don't she might think I forgot her bday..

 

One other question:

Do you guys believe in some kind of "6th Sense" ? I mean it's odd but I knew something was wrong the day my ex secretly went on that date with the guy. Also, I felt extremely bad the day she got into a relationship with him (sex). Also, I felt really good a while back when I had a date with a cute woman (she flaked on me though ... ouch) and just that day my ex messaged me.

[Hermes]

Kehv. Not so sure about a sixth sense, but certainly one should listen to that gut feeling, always, ALWAYS! All too often we subconsciously chose to ignore the red flags, maybe the flag is a very small one, fluttering at the back of your mind, but it's there.

[Kehv]

There's not much point in speculating whether someone's a narcissist or not. It's enough to know that they are toxic to you and you need to avoid them. The one thing you get from assuming that they are a narcissist is that when they get in contact with you you won't want to respond because that's just giving them supply. And whether or not they are, probably the best thing for you is to have something that reinforces the desire to not communicate with them.

 

Odd question....when your ex said she didn't like your friends and your mom was she saying it in a "I don't want you around them anymore" kind of way. People who have a desire to abuse or manipulate you will often try to separate you from you support system, your close relationships.

 

Good question. No she did not say it like that, however I started to see my friends less every year. My ex simply did not want to go out with me + friends and my ex was always with me so we did stuff with the two of us. So there wasn't any reason for her to tell me I couldn't see them.

 

My mother was always very nice to my ex and she loved her. My ex liked my mother in the beginning of our relationship but after the years went by she started to dislike her more. She was complaining to me about my mother like "Your mother was ignoring me". She also said I was a "Momma's boy" because I called my mother like one time a day...

 

When I moved into my new appartment I had to decide whether to go with window shades or Curtains. I choose to go with window shades but my ex wanted the curtains, it's my appartment so I get to decide. My mother said she would go with window shades aswell. My ex was constantly blaming me for "Choosing my mothers side" even though it simply wasn't true.

[Kehv]

Kehv. Not so sure about a sixth sense, but certainly one should listen to that gut feeling, always, ALWAYS! All too often we subconsciously chose to ignore the red flags, maybe the flag is a very small one, fluttering at the back of your mind, but it's there.

 

It has been almost 4 months now and I've been thinking about it a lot (obviously). Still, I can't find many red flags in the period before I got dumped, except for the 3 days between the Date until my ex dumped me.