Jump to content

Will they ever regret leaving you for someone else?


Muisje08

Recommended Posts

Hi,

 

Many of you have been left for someone else, often after a long and good relationship. They meet someone else and suddenly they feel they would be so much happier, and they feel a strong connection, are madly in love.

 

The long-term relationship is given up andyou are replaced in no time for someone else. I wanted to know from your experience and knowledge: what is the chance that they will ever regret giving up a long relationship for someone new? And IF they regret it, how long does it take - months, years? There is probably no science about this, but think you all have much experience, or knowledge....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 54
  • Created
  • Last Reply

I guess sometimes they do regret leaving and sometimes they don't. I know a guy who left a good woman, for a model girl. At the time, he thought the model was the one for him, but in the end he slowly started to find out about all of the other men.. This was about 3 years ago, and till this day he regrets leaving his first girl.

 

I don't know (or maybe I have forced myself not to remember) horror stories, in which the guy left a girl, found something better and lived happily ever after..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, we can break this down into

 

leaving a relationship for the right reasons

 

and

 

leaving a relationship for the wrong reasons.

 

When you leave for the right reasons, abuse, different goals etc. then it's pretty much a clean cut case of moving on easier and finding someone you deserve.

 

Whereas leaving for the wrong reasons such as lust or greener grass without sorting out any small problems could possibly leave the dumper with a certain amount of regret. Like when the new relationships honeymoon period ends; what if we just sat down and sorted things out instead? Now, I've got all these different problems plus the regret/guilt and now he's moved onto someone else and he's happier, looking great and more successful.

 

Generally, the quicker the dumpee moves on, the faster the dumper realises what they've done. But whatever happens it will be when you're not thinking about them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is a very dangerous road to put yourself on. 11 months ago mine left me for someone else. He never spoke to me again. The first few months I asked myself the same questions as you. I look forward to the point instead where I simply no longer care.

 

How long were you together for and why did you break up?

 

Have you got a new boyfriend?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi,

 

Many of you have been left for someone else, often after a long and good relationship. They meet someone else and suddenly they feel they would be so much happier, and they feel a strong connection, are madly in love.

 

The long-term relationship is given up andyou are replaced in no time for someone else. I wanted to know from your experience and knowledge: what is the chance that they will ever regret giving up a long relationship for someone new? And IF they regret it, how long does it take - months, years? There is probably no science about this, but think you all have much experience, or knowledge....

 

Some regret it and come back, some regret it but don't come back. Some don't regret it at all. You can't waste your life hoping the person regrets it and comes back. Even if they come back it depends on how serious they are when they come back and why they come back. Some come back only because the new person dumps them so they go back to what is familiar in order to not be alone. Some come back but never fix their problems and issues so they may as well have stayed away. You need to move on with your life and not expect them to come back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My girl left me for another guy right out of the blue. One day I was the love of her life. The next she "couldn't a do relationship any more and want[ed] to be alone" The day after that she was with a new guy. She wanted to get into the whole party scene after seeing all her friends from highschool partying, so she wanted a party boy, that wasn't me so she left me for him

 

I often wondered will she ever regret what she has done, will she ever grow up and realize I was good man and tried my damnedest for her. Now I'm to the point where I truly don't care. Honestly I hope she never does, because if she calls back trying to reconcile she'll be highly disappointed

 

I think the healing process leads up to a point where you longer care. But in things I've read and heard of, the ex attempts to win the dumpee back after they have gotten to the "I no longer care stage" In that case the dumpee nor longer wanted the dumper and the dumper goes thru life regretting what they have done. That's in most cases I've seen.

 

In some cases the dumper and new boyfriend/girlfriend live happily ever after never regretting dumping you. In the other case the dumpee takes the dumper back, regretting that they dumped them. Everyone is different so its hard to say what will happen with one person

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i've heard over and over again from people i've talked to who have been through this type of situation... its just a phase she/he has to go threw, he or she will one day realize that partying gets old, fast. I went through the partying and doing my own thing rather early in life, I started drinking at 14 so by the time I had met my ex I was pretty much partied out but she had never experianced it. it's their mistakes to make and if things are meant to be they'll come back and if you love them enough you'll take them back because love is blind. i just wish it wasn't so hard! especially for me because i'm super jealous and I still live with her part time. oh and i have no car so i rely on her for rides to work... but im working on it, hopefully will have a car by next week.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It depends but I stopped caring if my ex ever would and then out of the blue he e-mailed me from Iraq and told me that he was sorry and really loved me. I forgave him but never spoke to him again. He ended up leaving her for someone else and then karma set in and that woman left him for....(here's the kicker) another woman.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It depends but I stopped caring if my ex ever would and then out of the blue he e-mailed me from Iraq and told me that he was sorry and really loved me. I forgave him but never spoke to him again. He ended up leaving her for someone else and then karma set in and that woman left him for....(here's the kicker) another woman.

 

LOL! a twist of fate. That's sweet. I really can't wait to get to the point where I don't think of my ex much and if I do it won't have any emotion attached to it. I cannot wait for that day to come!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL! a twist of fate. That's sweet. I really can't wait to get to the point where I don't think of my ex much and if I do it won't have any emotion attached to it. I cannot wait for that day to come!

 

 

Oh yeah, and then my other two exes also got bad karma and get this I wasnt overjoyed about it b/c I really forgive them and no longer have feelings for them. One got "trapped" by a girl who cheated on him and is now going to be a father and the other was also "trapped' and is strapped for cash due to child support. My most current ex lost his job the day I found out he was married (he's been unemployed every since-6 months). Not happy about that but I have been blessed for having forgiven them and I even recommended some places that could help them each out. My karma meter's pretty good.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi,

 

Many of you have been left for someone else, often after a long and good relationship. They meet someone else and suddenly they feel they would be so much happier, and they feel a strong connection, are madly in love.

 

The long-term relationship is given up andyou are replaced in no time for someone else. I wanted to know from your experience and knowledge: what is the chance that they will ever regret giving up a long relationship for someone new? And IF they regret it, how long does it take - months, years? There is probably no science about this, but think you all have much experience, or knowledge....

 

The only times I've regretted giving up a LTR with an ex is when things went sour with the new person. Then I find someone new and that feeling is gone.

 

Of course there are situations when the dumper realises he/she made a huge mistake.. I haven't been in this situation though.

 

When I break up with someone I know it's b/c things really weren't meant to be and we didn't click. Why else would I break up with them? If it didn't work then, I feel it would be complicated trying to start dating again. Too many past issues would get dragged in so I stay away from opening a can of worms..

 

I sometimes look back and think of other nice guys I dated. I wouldn't go back to them. I just think fondly of how well they treated me, and how I just didn't feel as strong back then.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh yeah, and then my other two exes also got bad karma and get this I wasnt overjoyed about it b/c I really forgive them and no longer have feelings for them. One got "trapped" by a girl who cheated on him and is now going to be a father and the other was also "trapped' and is strapped for cash due to child support. My most current ex lost his job the day I found out he was married (he's been unemployed every since-6 months). Not happy about that but I have been blessed for having forgiven them and I even recommended some places that could help them each out. My karma meter's pretty good.

 

haha - that's so good to know. You know i forgave my fiancee (together 5 yrs) for going off with another man 5 months before the wedding (which was booked) and I don't hate her. I even wished her a happy life.

 

I believe it's important not to hold onto resentment and like you say the universe has it's own magical way of delivering what is due. That's the funny thing it's one of those laws well documented in nearly every culture.

 

My revenge is moving on - that's all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

haha - that's so good to know. You know i forgave my fiancee (together 5 yrs) for going off with another man 5 months before the wedding (which was booked) and I don't hate her. I even wished her a happy life.

 

I believe it's important not to hold onto resentment and like you say the universe has it's own magical way of delivering what is due. That's the funny thing it's one of those laws well documented in nearly every culture.

 

My revenge is moving on - that's all.

 

 

Yup, living well without them is revenge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 years later...

I've left a few nice boyfriends to pursue interests in other people I had and I always wanted the boyfriend I left back eventually. Just because I'd realise they were the nice ones and there would come a point where I'd want the niceness again. But my relationship with the nice ones never worked out in the end, probably because I kept mucking them about, but also maybe in my heart I go for horrible men more than nice ones sadly. Now a horrible one has left me and I'm left wanting him to come back. Weird. I don't know if the horrible ones come back. It depends how much they wanted you or something I think. I've left a few nasty ones and they allllwaasyys wanted me back-still contact me to this day some of those ones. But this is a new experience for me this current one because he left me. I don't know what the horrible ones you've been in a long relationship with who leave you do. I guess they're just really screwed up and no one can tell.

 

Fyi I didn't leave the nasty ones for someone else. I just left them to GET AWAY. Also, from my knowledge the nasty ones who have left me in the past did not have anyone else on the sidelines. So....I guess I'm the one who would go off with someone else-this is when I was younger though. Now I think I seem to be a purely horrible boyfriends type. I guess you sometimes go back to the nice ones because a) you can and they want you and the "new" person has gone bad somehow. b) you actually get on with them and will always miss that. Sometimes the timings just not right in relationships either and things can go better at another date maybe. BUT like I say, my situation is one of the horrible ex boyfriend now and we haven't talked in 2 months so maybe he's gone off with someone. That would be a first for me. And I sort of doubt he has, he is not good socially, especially with women.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is my situation, any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

My ex boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago after 2 and a half years together, we had the perfect relationship, our parents met and loved one another, we were best of friends spending a lot of time together and being there for each other during family issues the past year. We were planning on moving into our own place in the new year. We had our fair share of arguments always over silly things but always made up, until about 3 months ago, we had an argument over something silly and he used this to say we needed a couple of days apart to cool off. I gave him this but once a few days had passed he decided that the relationship was no longer what he wanted, that I was the 'best girlfriend' but he just wanted to spend some time on himself, his new job and his family. I was absolutely devastated, did the usual begging and pleading and then realised it was not helping.

 

I then proceeded to do NC, this lasted 2 weeks until he broke it and messaged me saying he wasn't happy and he made the wrong choice, but still wasn't saying he wanted to get back together, so for the next 2 weeks we talked a little here and there until suddenly out of the blue on Facebook I see he's in a relationship with a girl I had never even heard of in the 2 years we were together, she's in university and lives 4/5 hours away from us so a LDR relationship (he doesn't drive either) this crushed me, and now months later I still can't get my head around it, I have a good job, a car which I drove him round everywhere in, and he's left me for a student who lives hundreds of miles away.

 

They have now been together 1 month, but I know they only get to see each other every couple of weeks. We spoke recently after he found out I was talking to a boy and he completely flipped out, we are now back in NC.

 

I hate the fact that I'm still obsessing over this and I have been focusing on myself in the hope that I will feel better but it doesn't seem to work.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...

I guess a Long term relationship is 2 years + ? That's quite a long time to figure out if you did not click. In my eyes my ex and I were a great match but I guess she didn't seem to think so. I wonder if she ever regrets leaving me for another guy after a 6 year relationship. I did took her for granted but she made some mistakes aswell, I guess it all depends how great their new relationship is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess a Long term relationship is 2 years + ? That's quite a long time to figure out if you did not click. In my eyes my ex and I were a great match but I guess she didn't seem to think so. I wonder if she ever regrets leaving me for another guy after a 6 year relationship. I did took her for granted but she made some mistakes aswell, I guess it all depends how great their new relationship is.

 

I think on average JecklyNHyde has it nailed. People who leave for someone else, fill their lives as completely with that new person as they can to smother the pain and guilt of their choice. I don't think they really are capable of feeling regret let alone remorse until that relationship fails in some way.

 

On top of that, I think people who leave for someone else also rationalize how great the new relationship is because that helps to justify the pain the cause their former partner. The new person is "The One" because most people will be more accepting of their decision if it was done to be with "The One".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They can and do. An ex of mine from about 9 years ago (we were together 3 years) left me for someone else I think. He was dating her straight after. That didn't last. He was trying to get me back for years afterwards. In fact, only a few weeks ago he tried to add me on social media (he's been with somebody for about 2 years now). I know he regrets leaving me, he told me for years after that it was the biggest mistake of his life. He told everyone that, even my friends.

 

So yeah.. It can happen. But other times they don't always regret it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think this is one of those places where in general there's a gender difference. I think men often regret it and come back. I think women very seldom do.

 

Maybe.. From my own perspective, I wouldn't break up with someone unless I was completely done, so yeah no chance of going back. And I'd never leave someone for another person. So it's hard to say.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe.. From my own perspective, I wouldn't break up with someone unless I was completely done, so yeah no chance of going back. And I'd never leave someone for another person. So it's hard to say.

 

I can definitely relate. And I think people of both genders with that mindset would feel the same way. My evidence is only anecdotal really. I've read many many stories of ex-bf's trying to come back months or years later. I've read very very few from guys saying that ex-gf's tried to come back later.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...