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a ray of hope in feeling better... finally!


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not sure if any of you know my backstory... met a guy fell in love broke up he left me for someone else blah blah blah... i'm not over him it hurt like hell for the first bit, i just kind of got used to the sad feeling but attempted to move on.... anyway....

 

it's been 6 months. and recently, he contacted me via email to see how i was doing, i didn't respond, then he messaged me on msn a few days later and i blew up at him. he has a gf and i found it rude that he'd mention that when contacting an ex (me) that he totally hurt. so, my mind has been back on him for the past few weeks after i thought i was doing so well in getting over him. frustrating to say the least...

 

i had joined an online dating site about 2 months ago though, not taking it seriously though becuase i tend to be very picky. not sure if it's because i'm so afraid of getting hurt that i find something wrong with everyone, or if i'm just not that attracted to many people. regardless, i met a guy on there and i've been talking to him on msn for about a month now. he's the only one that i've continued talking to out of any that i was messaging with. tonight, we decided to finally meet up for a drink.

 

i was sooo nervous, thinking it was a stupid idea, thinking to myself that i was forcing the issue of dating, and it wouldn't work becuase i'm obviously not over my ex. but... surprisingly, we had a great time! i don't fall for guys that easily, because i'm so picky and afraid of getting hurt, and i dont usually have any sort of connection when i first meet someone. it takes time for me to build an interest in someone. i dated someone within a month of breaking up with my ex, it lasted about 3 months on and off, but i can see now it was just a rebound. but this guy tonight, we totally hit it off and he's so much of what i'm looking for. i can honestly say that i felt happy for the first time in a long time tonight and i can totally see myself really liking this guy and totally forgetting about my ex

 

i never thought it would be possible to even like someone or find a real interest in someone after what happened with my ex. but i think i can! obviously im not in love with this guy, i barely know him. but there is definitly interest there on both parts, and im excited about a guy for the first time in a long time so it feels great!

 

so for all those out there that think they'll never get over their ex, and they'll never find someone new. it can happen! it's been 6 months for me and i was sick and depressed, didnt eat, had to go on meds, couldnt sleep, nearly lost my job, lost some friends because of my sad behaviour... i had it bad for my ex. if i can get to this point, we all can! i was afraid to put myself out there again, but i took a chance, and im excited at this opportunity

 

give yourselves a second chance, dont let your heartbreak keep you from putting yourself out there becuase you never know what you could find. who knows if anything will come of this, we are going out again tomorrow though, but just the realization that i could be interested in someone again for real, is enough to put a smile on my face for the whole evening im not saying put yourself out there right away, it takes time obviously you have to go through some stages. just before my ex emailed me, i had finally hit the acceptance stage. in fact, that day, i had a great day and felt happy and felt like i was finally accepting that we'd never speak again and i was finally ok with it.. then he emailed... so i guess it's true they can sense when we've gotten over them and that's when they come back into our lives. but still, i believe that there is someone else out there for all of us that are feeling blue and thinking it will never happen and that our lives wont go on without that one person.

 

anyway, i just wanted to write to give some hope to those suffering. i know its rough, ive been there, im still there i miss him a lot still and think about him, but now i know that there will be others and that it's going to be ok

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Congrats on your good date! You're right, it was tacky and over the top manipulative for the ex to mention someone new, but as hard as that was, he actually helped you move forward by making you angry and showing you what a jerk he really is.

 

Lots of people are afraid to get angry, but if it's used constructively it can actually pull you out of stagnation. You took a risk by seeing the new guy, and regardless of whether things work out, you've shown yourself that you can feel a spark again. That of itself is wonderful, and you're on your way to a better future than you could have imagined a month or 6 ago.

 

EnjOy!

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