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How confusing?


zas
5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – ...
5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – Spotting A True Friend

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guys, I'm new to this so thought I'd give it a shot.

 

Basically I met a guy on a dating site and went for a drink with him after speaking for a while. Everything was going swimmingly, he texted me everyday without fail, and he came down to see me (lives about 30 miles away) etc etc.

 

Now just recently, his grandad has been taken ill and is basically dying. He did get a bit funny the other week and we'd made plans for him to come down again, but when I txt to confirm he basically said he didn't feel like it. He said he definitely wasn't blowing me off, was happy to have met me and wanted to definitely keep seeing me "if that was ok". The next day I spoke to him online and he asked me to come to see him so I went. I was introduced to his parents AND friends in the same night. Good sign you might think?

 

Well I have hardly heard from him all week!! It is me that's been doing the chasing. This morning I'd had enough of the silly buggers game and asked him outright if I'd done something to upset him, and he replied saying that no, I hadn't done a thing wrong and he knows he is being hard work and really doesn't mean it but the whole family thing is really upsetting him. This sparked off a little convo by text and he didn't bother to reply to the last message. I can appreciate this kind of time must be difficult, but am I being blown off here in a discreet way?

 

I've been single for about 9 months after pushing every bloke that came near me away (really bad breakup, cheating ex etc etc) but as soon as I let my guard down with one, this is what happens! Is it just me that thinks its weird that the whole texting everyday thing has practically stopped? Is it worth just cutting my losses and avoid getting hurt all over again?

 

Thanks!!

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It could be a number of reasons, and I hate to say this, but he may just be slowly backing out, and disappearing.

 

Since it's only been a few dates, I would just cut my losses, and move on. Also, let him make the next contact, you've made it clear that you're interested.

 

All the best...

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You've only had two dates with this guy, and you are carrying on like this is a 20-year marriage.

 

You are way over-invested, so pull WAY back and stop chasing him and being insecure. It's all a total turn-off to guys...

 

If he's interested, he'll be in touch.

 

In the meantime, keep dating others...

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His grandfather is dying...I would say he has lots of family issues to deal with right now. I would cut him some slack and instead of getting upset with him and asking if you have done anything wrong, how about dropping him a line and showing support for his impending loss. Sure, he may not be interested...but on the other hand there is a looming death in the family so if you are going to err, err on the side of caution and compassion.

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His grandfather is dying...I would say he has lots of family issues to deal with right now. I would cut him some slack and instead of getting upset with him and asking if you have done anything wrong, how about dropping him a line and showing support for his impending loss. Sure, he may not be interested...but on the other hand there is a looming death in the family so if you are going to err, err on the side of caution and compassion.

 

Ditto! This guy is going through a major life stress and whilst he may like you, you are not a priority in the scheme of things at this early stage and when the crisis is relating to his family.

 

I think he is into you still. My advice would be to back off a little, but show you care and understand he is going through a difficult time and let him know you're there if he needs to talk etc. But don't push for your relationship to develop at this stage, let him have some time to grieve with his family.

 

Ammy

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