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He Asked Me to Move In...is it too soon?


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Ok, I don't know what to think of this, but I need you guys' opinion.

 

I've been seeing this guy since the beginning of this year, and we became official about 2 weeks ago. He's 15 years older, him being 40 and me being 25. I think that I've found the perfect person, and I think that he's definitely long-term potential. I'm in the healthiest relationship I've ever been in my life - no drama, no complications, no game playing, no stressin', no frettin'...I feel soooooo happy and so content. Who would've guessed, non-committal me, finally! Everything is so right, I can't even find a single flaw. We get along so well. And he brings out the best in me, pushes me to be the best person I can possibly be. Sounds corny I know, but man, I feel good about this one.

 

So I have this pending living situation issue where I'm leasing my friend's house and my contract is going to expire in march. It looks like she's going to raise the rate, so I would have to look for another place.

 

Now, my bf offered to stay at his place. Actually, he wants me to move in with him. He's a financialy stable and successful guy, while I'm still starting out. I would say I'm still trying to establish my independence, and while I like him a lot, and I feel like I love him, I'm a little iffy about moving in. I've never done it before, and I'm just scared about losing my independence and having my own space. I feel like we're moving fast, but I'm comfortable with it.

 

He's brought it up a few times and he does recognize that I want my independence, so I told him, maybe we should spend as much time as we can.

 

What should I do?

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I'd say take your time...you two haven't been together long and you both still have lots of growing to do in getting to know each other on deeper levels. You don't sound to sure about the whole thing so I'd say play it safe and don't rush into something you're not sure about. A woman's instincts are very strong and intuition..... very keen

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In my opinion I would wait longer. Your relationship is really new and freash right now. Even though you have these feelings for this guy which is nothing wrong with what your feeling but just don't rush into it all. I feel the same way about my bf who I have been dating for almost 2 yrs now and as much as the both of want to live together we don't want to rush into it so quickly because what if something might happen down the road. There are those questions you should be asking yourself. I'm not saying that the relationship won't last but just to have that as a "what if"! What are some of the possibilites of it ending up not working out..Just a thought!

 

I think it should be when the time is right and the both of you are completely ready to commit to each other. Are you wanting to me more independent for a bit longer and see where the relationship goes? I also think that it would be best not to move in together so quickly because it will allow your relationship to grow stronger and be able to really find out more about each other. When the time is right for the both of you to move in together it will happen. Be patient on this. Something that I have come to realize is that your heart wants one thing and your mind wants something else. So, once your mind and heart match and want the same thing you'll know when your ready.

 

But, I am forcing you or tell you what to do here. I just thought I would share some thoughts and advice.

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The same thing just happened to me! My lease is up in May and I really don't want to live in this apartment anymore. My boyfriend really wants me to move in with him--he is financially stable and lives in a wonderful house. We've been dating for six months. I'm apprehensive about it for the same reasons, since I am very independent and I don't want to rush things. However, I am lucky(?) because I still have classes to attend in the summer and he lives 45 minutes away; the drive everyday just wouldn't be worth it. I do think, even if I could do it without classes being a problem, I would say that maybe we should wait a while longer before committing to something like this. For one thing, going from seeing each other just on the weekends to seeing each other everyday is a HUGE transition, and I don't want to damage our dynamic. I see this as a potential issue with you two.

 

I personally think it's a little premature to be moving in with your boyfriend. I think more bad than good could come from it. If you aren't 100% certain, then it's probably best not to do it for the time being.

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Way too soon and your conclusions about him are conclusions that many people come to - because it's easy to - after being involved with someone for such a short period of time. If your lease wasn't up how seriously would you be considering this, anyway?

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I agree with the others....it is too soon. Why not ease into it by spending a few nights a week there and see how you go in a "semi" living together arrangement.

 

I think after only 3 months you can really have no true idea how you guys will mesh domestically.

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Thanks everyone!

 

Yes, last week I was having doubts about whether this relationship would work or not, not because of his character or personality, but because I'm a really busy person and I wasn't sure if I would have the time for a committed relationship. So I thought about it, and I think that since he's close to being who I want to be with, I decided that I would stay in the relationship.

 

So what do I tell him? And also, I'm wondering why he brought it up or even offered. I agree that I don't want to spoil the dynamics by moving in together - I want to learn more about him old school style. I don't think I'm ready to know that he does fart, or that he burps, or what-have-you yet.

 

What should I tell him? He seems to bring it up all the time. In fact, yesterday, I had a ton of work to do, but I was at his place, and I felt bad for working while hanging out and I told him that. And then he said, "That's ok baby, we're practicing for when you move-in."

 

I mean, I don't think he's a clingy or creepy guy at all. But I'm just wondering why he would want to move in so quickly.

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go ahead and ask him why he wants you to move in so soon. Hopefully he doesn't say something like, "you are the one for me...why wait when it's going this good??" Really sit him down and ask what you both have planned for each other. Why rush when you both can take things slow and one step at a time and really get to know one another and grow. Let it happen naturally..without doubt or question from either of you

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Hopefully he doesn't say something like' date=' "you are the one for me...why wait when it's going this good??" [/quote']

 

What if he does?

 

Also, I want to be as sensitive and considerate as possible. I'm not scared of losing him if he decides to break-up with me if I don't move in with me, but I do know that asking someone to move in with you is a big deal (well, at least for me!) and I just want to make sure that I communicate clearly to him that while I do like him a lot (I know, the "L" word hasn't even been dropped yet), I don't want to rush into things. But I want to be sensitive about it too.

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If He Likes You He'll Do This -...
If He Likes You He'll Do This - Harsh Truth

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