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Start Having Confidence In Relationships And YourSelf

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While I'm no extrovert, I've had quite a bit of practice communicating with people of all ages within the last year, which has (over a that period of time alone) made me more comfortable engaging in conversations with my peers. I think the first hurdle to get over is fear of the unknown.


It can be very easy to analyze in the moment what should or shouldn't happen. Your preconception of what someone is going to be like, especially if you barely know him/her, might shatter amidst one conversation. You may think person X is one way, but ends up being another.


Second, from my experience, is being aware of any intentions you have. If I want to offer a classmate advice on a topic they are concerned about (in life in general), I do it because I want to give him/her the same opportunity to learn something new about themselves. The intention doesn't necessarily have to go any further. I don't always hope it will lead to something else. In fact, I try not to. That raises expectations. It's like thinking, "If I say this to her, then she will like me more. Then if I get to know her more, then I will get a yes to go on a date." She may not be the kind of person you want to be around, either her attitude, how she speaks, etc. You are forcing an idea on yourself that is merely an illusion, rather than letting things happen naturally in the moment.


Third is simply practice. It sometimes does take a bit of nerve to start a conversation with someone in public, especially if you haven't spoken to him/her before. Once the ice is broken, at least you will know the vibe.


Most of my friends nowadays are female, so in that sense, there is always an opportunity to practice. However, I think I would be more myself in dialogues with the opposite sex had I grown up with a sister.


There shouldn't be anything extremely surprising about anyone. People are people. This isn't to say that we are all very predictable in character, but it is the kind of unraveling clarity that shows unity not divisiveness.


Anyway, hope this helpful.

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