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Fitchik
the worst has happened | Isolating ...
the worst has happened | Isolating in a Motorhome

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So most know my story.. 8 yrs together,lived together, engaged, broke up, back together and then broke up again in Nov...LC for the last several months... NC since Jan 25th.

 

Last night I agreed to see him. We had a very plesant visit. At the end, as is usually the course, we ended up talking about "US".

 

He was always the one that wanted me to "get over us, so we could start a new us". I finally had the opportunity (and control of my emotions enough) to say that I felt he has been unrelalistic in thinking that I would heal and deal exactly like him.

 

He agreed! HOLY COW! HE AGREED! After another 30 min conversation that went really well, he has suggested that we take a couple of days and make individual lists about what our NEEDS and WANTS are from a relationship with each other and then sit down again and see if these are things we can do to make it work.

 

I personally think this is a very mature and responsible approach. I'm going to take my time to make sure the list is indeed MY wants and needs, and not just words that I believe he wants to hear so we can start a-new.

 

Thoughts from the crowd????

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That is great news! My suggestion is to take your list to a friend who knows you really well and run it by them.

 

I LOVE this idea! Thanks ready. My one issue that most of my friends have not hung in there with me thru this crazy rollar-coaster ride. So I've stopped talking to them about he and I.

 

Maybe my mom!

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He agreed! HOLY COW! HE AGREED! After another 30 min conversation that went really well, he has suggested that we take a couple of days and make individual lists about what our NEEDS and WANTS are from a relationship with each other and then sit down again and see if these are things we can do to make it work.

 

I personally think this is a very mature and responsible approach. I'm going to take my time to make sure the list is indeed MY wants and needs, and not just words that I believe he wants to hear so we can start a-new.

 

Thoughts from the crowd????

wow, this is great news.

like you said, very mature approach from him.

seems like he's really willing to try to make things right with you/the relationship.

about the list,

definitely make sure YOU are 100% honest. as you said above, dont just put what he wants to hear. in order for it to work,you both have to know what the other person truly wants/needs out of the relationship.

best of luck, fitchik!

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I am very glad to see you are in a better place. It may take you more than a few days to come up with a brutally honest list with no pride or ego interjecting itself into it.

 

Pretend like you are not making the list for him to see. Pretend like you never met him and this is your list just for you, not what you want your ex to be like but what you want the man of your dreams to be like. Within reason of course. Setting our goals to high can be more harmful if we can't ever reach them.

 

Any way you look at this it is very positive news for you. Yippeeee!

 

lost

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i am very glad to see you are in a better place. It may take you more than a few days to come up with a brutally honest list with no pride or ego interjecting itself into it.

 

Pretend like you are not making the list for him to see. Pretend like you never met him and this is your list just for you, not what you want your ex to be like but what you want the man of your dreams to be like. Within reason of course. Setting our goals to high can be more harmful if we can't ever reach them.

 

Any way you look at this it is very positive news for you. Yippeeee!

 

Lost

 

exactly!!! more so I hope it is positive news for a NEW "us".

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Yay FitChik !! i think that is a great way to approach things, definitely take your time and review your list a bunch. Not sure what else I can say, but honestly looking at what you both need and desire is a great way to see if you two are "in tune".

 

-K

 

Thanks Girl...but you know my motto...one day at a time!

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I LOVE this idea! Thanks ready. My one issue that most of my friends have not hung in there with me thru this crazy rollar-coaster ride. So I've stopped talking to them about he and I.

 

Maybe my mom!

 

If you can take advice from your mom to heart and believe her to be a fair judge then I think she would be an excellent choice.

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