Jump to content

NC makes you think more?......


iusman

Recommended Posts

Why is it that the NC is making me think more of her and obsess about eveything..... I have ended my relationship because we were on and off and it got to the point i didnt see a future with her nomore the way it was going. Based on other peoples experiance does NC make you think more of the person or less? And how long do these obsessive thoughts last, i have accepted it is over and I am moving on but i cant get her out of my head

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Indeed. Almost 1 month of NC here and during the day I'll go through a dozen different moods, from self-belief and enthusiasm to how I am now - stuck in a quagmire of unrealised dreams and dashed hope. I'll be fine again in 10 minutes though, and the good news is that in a few days it'll be 5 minutes before I feel fine again, then 2... then I'll be okay.

 

Just make sure you stick to it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

NC makes you think more but its the fastest way to get over someone. With NC you are struggling with the break up more for the first little while but you get over the person rather quick. With contact you may feel better about the break up initially but in the long run it will take you much longer to move on. So question one has to ask themself, would you rather be stung by 10 bees at once heal up and thats the end of it or would you rather have 2 bees sting you every month?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is such an emotional rollercoaster ride. I know that I started NC hoping that it would make him miss me. The last few weeks have been pure agony. The pain is worst now, I guess it's the realization that it is over and the love that I gave to him was just thrown away and stomped on. Sticking to it though because getting in touch with him will just set me back again. We just have to stay strong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

it is definitely true that when you use NC properly it does have a effect. It is also true about the emotional roller coaster one minute i am hurting really bad and next minute i feel perfectly fine... ahhh the human brain is so amazing, my problem was i still didn't want to stop loving her but now that i WANT to stop loving her it is happening! You can do anything you want the human brain is so amazing you just want to really want to do it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

'Rollercoaster' is definitely the best way to describe it: I'm happy...I'm miserable. I'm excited to be single...I'm not. I miss her...I don't miss her. I look to the future with hope...I can't stop thinking about the past. I'm all over the shop!

 

I started NC mainly for myself so I could heal, but I admit that part of it was in the misguided hope that she'd miss me. The irony? NC does nothing but make me think of her more, while all it's doing to her is making her forget me more. You have to laugh really (otherwise you'd cry!).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm around a month and a half of strict NC, with the intention of fully moving on. Intellectually I understand that I need to move on, but my feelings haven't quite caught up yet. I was actually feeling much better a few weeks ago, but then I got sick and had to take a few days off work, which set me back quite a bit. I'm back to my daily routine now, but I'm finding the roller coaster ride pretty tough as well. Really struggling with my thoughts.

 

From previous experience I do know that it works, it just takes time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

NC does nothing but make me think of her more, while all it's doing to her is making her forget me more. You have to laugh really (otherwise you'd cry!).

 

this is what scares me and I'm definitely not laughing about it. I'm almost to day 50 of NC and still cannot let go. It has not gotten easier one bit. The pain still flows like it did the day after she ripped my heart out. And I still spend literally every single waking minute of my goddamn life with her on my mind. And then I read threads here about people who say they were dumped like 12 years ago and have not been able to move on at all and are still obsessive and depressed. That scares the **** out of me, I think because whether I like it or not, that's going to be me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

this is what scares me and I'm definitely not laughing about it. I'm almost to day 50 of NC and still cannot let go. It has not gotten easier one bit. The pain still flows like it did the day after she ripped my heart out. And I still spend literally every single waking minute of my goddamn life with her on my mind. And then I read threads here about people who say they were dumped like 12 years ago and have not been able to move on at all and are still obsessive and depressed. That scares the **** out of me, I think because whether I like it or not, that's going to be me.

 

hey man, day 50 is less than 2 months..not a lot of time in "nc years".. Try not to think too far into the future and take it day by day. I am in the same boat..so you are not alone. Keep your head up..it will get better..I hope!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

guys take heed from my story.. my ex left 4 months ago... she was with another guy straight away and moved in with him... we were in contact for the last 3 months.. her saying missed me, loved me blah blah... i was clinging to hope she would "wake up" and come back.

 

Monday she told me she'd got engaged. Naturally devastated and feel worse than the day we split..

 

Moral to this story, is that if id gone NC from the day i learned she'd shacked up with this bloke I wouldnt be in the mess im in now.

 

NC may make you miss them and think of them more in the first month, but it will get better. Dont break it and end up like me at the moment!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Man, that pisses me off-why would she say all that stuff to you, meanwhile she's getting serious w/another guy??

 

People can be so manipulative!!

 

You should be glad you're free of her.

 

guys take heed from my story.. my ex left 4 months ago... she was with another guy straight away and moved in with him... we were in contact for the last 3 months.. her saying missed me, loved me blah blah... i was clinging to hope she would "wake up" and come back.

 

Monday she told me she'd got engaged. Naturally devastated and feel worse than the day we split..

 

Moral to this story, is that if id gone NC from the day i learned she'd shacked up with this bloke I wouldnt be in the mess im in now.

 

NC may make you miss them and think of them more in the first month, but it will get better. Dont break it and end up like me at the moment!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Man, that pisses me off-why would she say all that stuff to you, meanwhile she's getting serious w/another guy??

 

People can be so manipulative!!

 

You should be glad you're free of her.

 

i have no idea.. about 4 hours after she told me she was engaged she sent me an email saying she had been looking at pics of me and our kitten and she missed us both so much... i didnt bother replying to that one!!! NC all the way but as im leaving the country soon her mam rang me earlier saying she wants to come over on sunday to see me before i leave... just what i need really but her mam has been really good with everything so didnt want to say no!

 

Hey ho..hopefully when im out of here in my new job i can get on with my life without all the reminders etc etc!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...