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Please - I would Really like some Advice. :)


Oserr

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There is this girl who I had a slight crush on and by some coincidence we started talking a lot online during the summer. She was so fun and completely brilliant that I began to fall for her more and more.

 

In November I told this girl that I liked her. She said she liked me back. At first things were really nice (though we are both shy so nothing happened). But as time went by and we weren't able to find opportunities to go out it started to get more and more awkward (unfortunate eh? It's supposed to be the other way around...). But at the same time we were able to talk more and she told me many things about herself and many experiences that she had that she didn't tell anyone else.

 

We finally got a date scheduled and she was very excited for it. On the date nothing much happened (I was unable to be my complete honest self because of my shyness) and we didn't kiss (and still haven't).

 

Today we talked and she started crying. She said she couldn't date me because she liked me a lot be she didn't like me in that way. At the same time she said something (I am a bit confused by it, I'm not sure what she meant exactly) about waiting for a while. (To try again? I'm not sure.)

 

I have (*sigh*) fallen for her to the point where I am on the brink of calling it love. I want to be able to stay by her side and do my best to take care of her even if we cannot date. I want to be able to be completely honest with her and I want to get closer to her.

 

I think she wants that too (at least she seems to), and I am very confused about her feelings for me.

 

I am thinking that (because she is shy) maybe the date was too weird and awkward for her (I enjoy her company so much that I don't mind the awkward or shy feelings, though they still limit me greatly).

 

So basically I really want to know:

-Her feelings for me.

-If it would be a bad thing to have an honest and open talk. Even though she has told me a lot about herself and secrets nobody else knows - she still doesn't seem to like to have open and honest conversations like that. I hope she knows that no matter what she says I will never be mad or look down upon her...

 

I know it's a lot to read. I ramble. But I would really like some advice.

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Hello. I guess you both are very nervous about something going wrong or doing what you are "supposed" to that you are forgetting about just having a good time and enjoying being with each other.

 

When you are together don't worry too much about what she's thinking, if something bothers you ask her and also talk a bit about what's on your mind so she isn't clueless either. Go on a few more dates, talk more, don't get into heavy discussions yet, just enjoy whatever you happen to be doing.

 

After a while if everything goes well and she still prefers to keep you as a friend then you would have to decide if that's what you want to be.

 

Also, avoid getting friend-zoned, meaning don't make her feel like you are somebody who will always be there no matter what and never asking anything in return, I know it sounds complicated but it's basically not limit what you have to friends-only things but also adding stuff like a bit of flirting and maybe giving a few compliments (and reviving them!) here and there.

 

Hope that helps.

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