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nicschic
Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch This!

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I haven't been on this forum for a very long time.. nor have i cut for a very long time. Right now i feel like I'm on the edge, i feel the urge to cut. I am under a large amount of stress and can't take it. Im hoping that me getting it out and writing it to people who understand will help me.

 

First off I made the decision to drop out of my college classes.. I decided i don't want to major in nursing any more, but then again i desperatly want to go back, i just don't know what I want to do as far as majoring. Well now me an Nick are in a huge money bind and trying to buy a place. I just found out today that i may lose both of my dogs just because they are pit bulls. My dogs are my best friends i don't know what i'm going to do if i lose them. It is so unfair that they may be put to sleep because of their breed. They ARE my children, my bestfriends, and my world... they would never hurt a fly. We were even discussing (before this came up) about getting a guard dog because Nick works late hours leaving me home alone. because they won't so much as give a warning bark.

 

I'm falling into depression.. i know i am, and that's a hole i don't want to fall back into. The urge to cut my arms and watch them bleed hasn't been so strong in such a long time. I can only cry, and I don't feel there is anyone i can talk to. I don't even feel nick can understand this one...

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You want to cut yourself because your life sucks. Yes, it sounds like it sucks. I'm only saying that because I think sometimes we are afraid of the truth: that we feel depressed because things are actually bad. But, is there some other way to handle it or act out your fantasy? I think it was a good idea for you to post here to try and get out your feelings so that is a good step. But, let's say you do cut yourself. What if one day you do actually get over your depression? You are going to have to live with the scars as a reminder. I know this sounds silly, but if you want to see the blood on your arms could you try jut smeering ketchup on yourself? Get it out of your system?

 

Another thing you could try to a vigorous workout to tire yourself out.

 

In the end I think you may want some therapy and try to find some direction in your life.

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Well I am in high school, so I can't help you out too much with all this about your life, but I do know one thing. If you take up something new to do, it can actually keep you distracted for a little while. I am not saying this works all the time, but sometimes it does help. If you don't already, you can try taking up guitar. It can be quite simple and inexpensive, and music really helps to comfort a person. I dunno, that's just a suggestion.

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Thanks for the advice guys. I feel better already, just getting it out on here helped me. I've already been to therapy before so I pulled out my old notes. I knew that running helps with my stress and talking about it. i already talked about it on here, but the weather has been so gross outside i can't really go running. Instead I went to volunteer at humane societys and that helped me a lot. My life still isn't great but I'm getting out of the house so i won't keep my mind on it. .

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