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Please anyone who had his/her ex back after their rebound relationship?


anticipation

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Hi there,

 

It's been a month since we broke up with my ex. After a week he started a new relationship with a girl we both met on New Year's Eve. It was killing me for some time. But I have been constantly reading articles about exes' rebound relationships and I cooled down a bit.

 

I know a lot of people will say 'just move on and forget him.' I do have brain cells that trigger my reasoning but I do love that person and consciously cannot let it go.

 

I just believe one day he will come back. It hurts when I think of him and that girl who also spoke to me and who saw me and my ex together, who after a week started a relationship with my ex. Not even dating, a proper relationship

 

Could anyone give me some positive stories when exes came back after a rebound relationship? I'd be so glad to hear that those rebound relationships don't work and my ex will truly miss me at some point...And everything was so serious, I thought we would stay together...I'm almost 26 and he's almost 28...I really believed in this relationship...

 

Thank you guys xxx I miss him more and more...I've done well with NC though and will try to keep it.

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Anticipation,

I had pretty much the exact thing happen to me. I broke up with my gy about 5 weeks ago. When I tried to reconcile he held firm and about 3 weeks ago he met a gal he has now been seeing. It absolutely kills me. I think of him with her and can't sleep at night. I obsess over him falling for her and losing his feelings for me.

Now, the good news.- I tried NC but evertime 4-5 days went by he would start calling me and texting ( 2 times even when he was out with her). I actually felt so lonely and sad without him I joined an on line dating service which he found out about and starting calling and texting more, but still seeing her. We met for lunch last week and he said he still had feelings for me but wanted to see her too. I said no way. Then thought about it and yesterday we text back and forth all day in which time I said fine. See her and see me and I will also date whomever I wish. He didn't seem as eager about her suddenly and started asking me if I would be thinking of him when I was with another guy. I asked if he thought of me when with her and he actually fessed up and said he did.

We aren't back together but I can tell I still hold his heart. I am moving into a new house in 2 weeks and he has agreed to come over and do some work for me I need done.

So, just cause your gy is with another gal in body doesn't mean he is in his heart. Also, guys seem to need that immediate warm body to try to forget you so they don't feel the pain. Give it time and NC in moderation- don't lose touch completely. I would also encourage using a little jealousy card letting him know through the grapevine you have been dating too! I no people say not to use jealousy to get someone back but I don't think you can without it!

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this is probably not what you want to hear.. but rebounds tend to help people move ON, rather than anything. for me personally, i couldn't really move on until the next one come along. it is true for me that rebounds don't last. we broke up and i realized i have no feelings for him and it was mostly projection from the last relationship. however, it somehow made me move on and it gave me the strength to never go back to that very first relationship.

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Now, the good news.- I tried NC but evertime 4-5 days went by he would start calling me and texting ( 2 times even when he was out with her).

 

The worst thing is that we are not in touch and I decided I will be NC till he contacts me first...I cannot break it because I did it once in the past and didn't work I really think the fact that you are both in touch is a huge positive point in getting back together...

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If you really love him and you see a future with him, move on and let him go and have his fun with the new girl while YOU have fun too and see if there's better guys around.

 

I'm sorry I used to be a wreck too back when my girl dumped me for someone else, and I would be telling myself "he is just a rebound", "if we're meant to be we'll be" blah blah blah, then I realized the truth: there's no such thing as "THE ONE".

 

There's plenty of reasons why WE tend to convince OURSELVES that the ones who left us are THE ONES...

 

1)Our ego won't accept we have spent X years with a person who...

-realized that the relationship wasn't going anywhere

-was able to fall out of love/attraction for us

-found someone better

...SOONER THAN US!

 

2)Going back to someone we know takes less effort than starting something new.

 

3)Habits!

 

4)And so on...

 

To put it simple: the best cure to ONEITIS is GFTOW (or GFTOM in your case)...

 

It may sound stupid or silly or whatever but it is the honest truth and our ex's are there to prove it...if things were so special why were they able to walk away so easily?

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You see...I do think people make mistakes, learn, grow and finally after examining different options, they decide on what they really love...He was into me, he struggled 'cause he didn't know what he wanted, he loved me but he said it was just not working...then when I saw him with his new girlfriend he asked my friend if I was ok. I just feel deep down I want to be with him and I want to know what to do to make it happen...I go out with my friends but every night I miss him and this feeling does not go away...

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You see...I do think people make mistakes, learn, grow and finally after examining different options, they decide on what they really love...He was into me, he struggled 'cause he didn't know what he wanted, he loved me but he said it was just not working...then when I saw him with his new girlfriend he asked my friend if I was ok. I just feel deep down I want to be with him and I want to know what to do to make it happen...I go out with my friends but every night I miss him and this feeling does not go away...

I know about that too. My guy ran into me at a bar when he was with "her" and I just didn't speak to him. When I left he started texting my girlfriend asking if I was ok. Later that night he text me and said he felt real bad. I can't be sure but I think when someone does this they are wanting to hear you aren't so they can validate the feelings they are still having for you ( if you feel bad then it is normal for him to be feeling so crappy too). I don't want to give false hope but it sounds like he is torn right now. Maybe wanting to forget about you but not being able to. My guy has told me the other gal is fun and with me it is harder because I mess his head up and he gets all in love and he just doesn't want to be that close to anyone again because I hurt him. As far as going out with your friends that is great but sometimes , for me, it helps to just be in the security of my home and not out in the mix. Being out makes me feel so lonely cause bars are lonely places- to me. Try being home a night and a good movie and a pizza Also, I am a firm believer it takes someone to get over someone. How about a date with a hottie! I have a date tomorrow night with a hottie and guess what- I am actually looking forward to it! I love my gy alot but if he doesn't want me life does go on with or without him. Life waits for noone and we just don't know when our time is. You don't want it to be pining for someone that has obviously taken you for granted!

I know it hurts like hell! It gets better.

Head up shoulders back!

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What I have to say is not what you'll want to hear, so you can ignore it or read it. It's up to you.

 

 

Seeing how this your second break up and he initiated it, this girl is likely somewhat responsible for his deciding to break up with you. Also, it just doesn't seem like you two had the best relationship--judging by other posts. I have been where you are, and it sucks, but the fact of the matter is he broke up with you for someone else. thereforee it really cannot constitute as a rebound. Now...

 

That doesn't mean he doesn't miss you. And that doesn't mean this relationship will work out. That also doesn't mean that it won't, rebound or not. In the end, no matter how much you still love him, you need to stop dwelling on whether or not this relationship will work for him or not. It could end in three weeks, it could end in three years, it could last forever. You need to move on. If you two happen to cross paths again after you've healed, then great. See what happens. But in the event you don't, you will have at least gone on with your life, finding happiness elsewhere.

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You don't want to see the truth.

 

He dumped you. He gave you lots of BS to make it look like he's the victim here when he's not. He's 28, not 18. He knows what he wants. He wants to be able to F*** other girls while he has you on the backburner. You are selling yourself short & you don't want to see it...

 

Now, I'm not saying you have to forget him or pretend you don't love him...no way!

I'm just telling you to move on and realize that he DUMPED YOU! He knew the consequences and risks he took by doing it (like, losing you forever) and that's why he tries to string you along...he's no fool, trust me.

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hi anticipation, Sorry for your hurt and pain but girl you need to get under another man to get over this one and who knows maybe this guy wont like it and come crawling back. If he is meant for you, you will be together. Good Luck , get out, be seen to be having fun eventhough your heart is breaking. Been there and now married for 17 years with three kids so faith will deside but dont be afraid to ride the rollercoaster.

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hi anticipation, Sorry for your hurt and pain but girl you need to get under another man to get over this one and who knows maybe this guy wont like it and come crawling back. If he is meant for you, you will be together. Good Luck , get out, be seen to be having fun eventhough your heart is breaking. Been there and now married for 17 years with three kids so faith will deside but dont be afraid to ride the rollercoaster.

I totally agree! Get out with a cute boy and do what boys and girls do! Have fun and whatever else you feel like but be seen with that smile on your face!

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What If My Ex Wants Me Back - What...
What If My Ex Wants Me Back - What To Do?

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