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Did he lose interest, or is he avoiding me?


willybaby87
If He Likes You He'll Do This -...
If He Likes You He'll Do This - Harsh Truth

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I've sought advice from all the wonderful people on ENA about a classmate and friend of mine who I'm really interested in. We used to talk all the time, both in class and online, but in the past week he hasn't been answering my instant messages or e-mails. I don't think I over-do it as I only message him with a "hello!" and if he doesn't answer I don't keep messaging him, I just leave it alone. He would talk to me in class and still walk me to my next class and everything seems normal, but online we don't talk at all anymore.

 

He'll be online and I'll just message him with the usual, "Hi!" or "Hello!" and he used to always answer my messages but now it goes unnoticed. He'll stay online and then go away, busy, or just sign off. If I go invisible or away he'll come back from away.

 

What do you think is happening? Am I annoying him?

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Hi or hello seems a vague and lazy way of initiating contact. You're putting the ball in his court to think of the first ice-breaking pleasantry such as 'how are you?' or 'what are you up to?' which starts conversations and accumulates actual content, that's really you're job as the initiator. You need to direct his attention somehow and make him want to answer by having something to answer to, IMO. If he still ignores then that's just plain rudness and he should thus be erased from your memory.

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The conclusion I would draw is that he is not interested now. Has he stopped talking to you at school and walking you to class? If his behavior in person has changed, then it’s a good bet that he lost interest. If not, then he’s being inconsistent and sending mixed messages, which is not a good sign. Maybe he met someone else? It’s hard to annoy someone that really likes you. They actually want your attention, and there is almost never such a thing as too much of it. They may have hesitation about how far they want to take things at a given point in time, but they usually want to be in contact with you and look forward to talking, hanging out, etc. The fact that when you go invisible, which looks like you’ve gone offline, he comes back from away, especially if he comes back almost right away each time, would suggest he is avoiding you. Hard to say why. He’s probably the only person that has that answer. Personally, I would stop sending messages if this has happened more than a few times. Once, maybe he missed you, twice might be forgivable. But he should try to contact you back at some point to see what’s up since you made the effort. Let him initiate the next IM conversation. If he doesn’t, well you have your answer.

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You don't mention what you two guys would chat about, or whether or not he had previous shown a romantic interest in you. You say you chatted and you had an interest in him.

 

Sorry to say, but he likely never had an interest to begin with, but as friends maybe. And he's stopped talking because perhaps he may not be wanting to give you the 'wrong' idea that he does have an interest.

 

Either that, or he has found another interest.

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