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after how much time


iusman

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so when would you all say that the reality of the break up really sinks in, after how much time? I mean when do the true feeling start to come out? I am on week 2 of NC and rite now i feel it is the best chose i could of done to leave the relationship as it was hurting me too much to be in it.

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Does it take longer for the reality of it to set in for the dumper or dumpee?

 

Im only asking that because, even though the dumper has planned it and kind of gotten their heads around it (that saying its a ratinal decision , not a hare brained one!). What with the dumpee has to take it straight away out of the blue and feel the initial pain and try to get over it from the start.

Say the dumper is going through all their reasons and keeps telling them self`s that they made the right decision, even though to a lot of them around them they have made a wrong decision, how long would it take an average dumper to start seeing the reality of it all?? ps i know might seem a weird question.

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My boyfriend dumped me 5 months ago and Im still heartbroken. My mistake was staying in touch with him after the breakup, because he insisted we stay friends. i also thought that maybe he would just change his mind abotu his decision if I stayed in his life. Man I wish I had found this website back then... cos am I suffering now! Whatever you do dont meet him, kiss him, talk to him on the phone, nada. Its not worth the pain after. you never get teh answer you want to hear... harsh reality but fact.

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I contacted him today because I wanted to know how he was. He said he's not doing well at all. I love him beyond words. I still don't feel like we're broken up. I feel like we're just on a long vacation from each other and that someday we will be together again.

 

He said when we broke up not to hold out hope. Even though I'm trying to move forward, part of me still feels with him. Whenever it starts "sinking in" that he may be gone forever, it feels like more than I can take so I pray and plead to God to let him come back to me and be re-united with me under HIM (Jesus).

 

This is the only man I've given my body to (and vice versa). We were together for over 7 years and were going to get married and have a family. It just doesn't feel "real" for my love, my friend, my family to be gone forever.

 

He didn't cheat, lie, abuse...nothing. I didn't either. That's what makes it harder. I feel that he genuinely loves me but doesn't like himself right now and feels like we both aren't ready to get married. He is trying to do the honorable thing. In my heart, he is a wonderful, decent person. How can I move on to somebody else when this is the man I love? It is not dillusional.

He's not bad for me, although he does need to feel better about himself. We enjoy each other, we love each other. I wish we could love ourselves more so we can have the family we always wanted.

 

I don't know when it sinks in but it feels like, for me, it never will because I have no reason not to love my fiance. I don't know if I ever want to love another man. He is my "one flesh."

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