Jump to content

Sexual relationship with a 12 years elder guy.


saveme5757

Recommended Posts

Recently, I am involved with a man who's 12 years elder. We got to know each other as he was a sports instructor in my university. He's not married but claimed that he already has a girlfriend, which I still doubted as I've never seen her. It all started when my car broke down 3 months back near the area he's living and I asked for his help. We soon became close as he helped me out with my problems and guided me along the way. He's a well-respected and responsible man.

 

However, things came into a twist recently. We did the most intimate things except intercourse when I was staying over in his place for 3 days. We knew it wasn't right, but it wasnt wrong either. I am really confused about the relationship we are going through right now. He seems to be rather calm about everything about this whole affair. We both knew that there will be no future in this relationship but we still had sex secretly. He loves me but it has been bothering me since he never consider me as his girlfriend and never would. He's planning to marry his current girlfriend soon. I feel sad, cheap, cheated and confused about the whole affair. I've thought of avoiding him but I am madly in love with him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have to walk out of his life..what he did was cheat on his girlfriend he is planning to marry. Of course it was wrong of both of you to do this. Why were you staying at his place for 3 days? I doubt very much that he loves you...he is planning on marrying someone else. You were his diversion. You need to walk away and never see him again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If he loved you AND was single AND was committed to pursuing a relationship with you, THEN it would not really be wrong. As long as you are/were both consenting adults here, there is nothing really wrong about the sexual attraction/relationship going on, it is just the cheating and hurting to follow that is wrong.

 

I agree with CAD here, he is planning on marrying someone else and it sounds like you have been his fun cold-feet distraction before he takes the plunge. I feel sorry for his future wife that he is not more secure (as it is likely they will encounter issues), and you would do best to walk away at this point in time, as much as that hurts.... before it only hurts more.

 

I know you say you are madly in love with him, but statistics are not on your side in this scenario. I'm so sorry hun.

 

We both knew that there will be no future in this relationship but we still had sex secretly. He loves me but it has been bothering me since he never consider me as his girlfriend and never would. He's planning to marry his current girlfriend soon.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm still under him for sports training and I'll be undergoing sports tests soon. There is no way of avoiding him. Besides, he calls at least 8 times a day. It has been like this for months and it has been getting more and more difficult to cut him off. It's torturous to even live without getting phone calls from him.

I was fleeing from a threat that was thrown to my housemate in our house. There was nobody at home and I have no where to go to, so I went over to his place. We never expect things to developed that far.

He even introduced me to his family whom his gf of 5 years have never met. I am rather confuse of his stand.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It seems like there are aspects of his relationship with you that have made you stronger and helped you, and it is ok for you to take that and appreciate that, but it is also ok for you to recognize that you are your own person, and you don't need to be dependent on him, emotionally or sexually.

 

He was there for you, you felt attracted to him, he helped you out when you were in need, and it seems he has led you on. And now it seems like he is either being a real snake about things as CAD has suggested, or majorly confused/cold feet, or a bit of both. Either way, it is bad news. Though it may be hard to avoid him, you can certainly work on making yourself stronger and more assertive.

 

Tell him you appreciate his friendship and his working relationship, but what has happened between the two of you is wrong given his situation, and that you need to recover from it, if you can find the strength to do so. Probably a very hard thing to say, but it is the right thing to say.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Nixee,

thanks again for your advice! I've told him we should just stay away from each other because the things we are doing currently are wrong. he agreed on that and he'll not call me that often anymore (he calls me more than 5 times a day). I need to get him out of my system gradually.. I dun think I ll b able to take it if he leaves straightaway..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...