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I'm confused about who I am and what I want in life.


JoeCool

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This current point I'm at a standstill... I am not in school, not employed but have been looking vigorously. My problem is I don't know who I am and what I want in life. There's nothing that basically gets me up in the morning and I'm just living basically to live. I've been thinking hard about what it is that I want but I don't know. I'm always a shy & to myself type person, I must admit I'm somewhat afraid of interacting and going out more than I should which is a problem.. Not to mention I've had negative parents who taught me growing up basically to be afraid and wary of everything which in a sense made me very isolated and paranoid as a child and a teenager. My parents were never really supportive of things I did thereforee which made me feel low and crushed... I feel like I can't do anything..

 

My self esteem is in the pits. I don't feel attractive and I just feel miserable. I don't have a job to pay for schooling. My parents are going through financial issues so my best bet to go to college is getting a job first so I can pay for my schooling on my own. My parents simply can't afford to pay for my things. More and more I'm questioning gods existence and trying to figure out who he is & what's the best outlet to get to know him... I've dropped religion because it confuses me.

 

I keep trying to do things but nothing is helping me and giving me an answer.. What am I going to do.. I feel pretty trapped in my position..

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This current point I'm at a standstill...

 

The first thing you need to do is take a deep breath and try to relax. I know it's next to impossible to put faith in my words since I'm a complete stranger to you, but trust me: things get better.

 

Judging from what you said, it sounds like you currently experience some sort of twenty-something crisis. Maybe I'm completely brain-dead for saying this, but I think it's normal due to everything the world is going through. Maybe there's some solace in that at least?

 

Regardless, just take it all a day at a time. You have a roof over your head, and I'm sure you have some sort of transportation. Food is given, and heck, you even have internet! It's only a matter of time before everything else falls into place.

 

Disburse your professional documentation. Network like crazy. Find joy in life, and start with your observation / acknowledgment concerning your sheepish parents and their impact on your life.

 

Things will get better.

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As far as the job thing, why not try being a temp? That way you can get a sampling of different jobs and see what you might like. That will also give you some money to hopefully start out some of your education, and as you take a sampling of your core curriculum, you may find a taste of what it is that might interest you. Once you're a student, you might have access to student health insurance, which may allow you to get some counseling which I believe would help you with some of your deeper issues.

 

Best of luck to you!!!

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With it being more and more difficult to find or hold on to a job, college may be a great choice. It will give you opportunities to explore your current interests and can help you discover new ones. It's great because you can make your own daily schedule. It will occupy your mind and your time in very productive ways. You will make new friends. You will have that well-respected education and degree that will help you get a better and more fulfilling job in the future. School isn't completely out of the question if you can't pay for it all out of your own pocket. In fact, there are more opportunities for funding. I am a recent graduate who wasn't able to get any monetary help from my family all throughout college (not that they were unwilling, just unable). Over the years I learned about all the different loans/grants/job programs/etc. that financial aid offers. I also worked in part of my university's financial aid office, and discovered students don't always realize all that is available to them. Even if you are not sure you want to go to college just yet, file a Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). Do this as soon as you can - I think a lot of "priority deadlines" are in the next few weeks (which just means you may be considered for a better funding award). You may already be familiar with this; pretty much every student fills one out. It asks your and your family's basic financial information. From that, the government and the universities you apply to figure out how much they can offer you in loans (which of course you have to pay back), grants (which is free money!!!), and oftentimes, as you mentioned, if your family's contribution is going to be low, you can be awarded "Work Study," which is a job, usually on campus. Since you're a student, your boss works around your class schedule, so that won't be a conflict. It's usually some sort of desk/reception job, which is great because it's probably going to be low-stress and it looks good on a resume. That's what I had for my entire time in school. By the end, with raises every year, I was making about $9.50 an hour - not bad for a student job. They also let me work full-time over the summer for $10.50 an hour, and to a college student, that is living the high life! And it was fun and convenient because it was on campus - no commute! My award each year was a mixture of loans, grants and work study, luckily mostly the last two. But it always more than covered everything I needed. Tuition and fees, books and supplies, room and board, transportation and living expenses were all accounted for by money given by my school.

 

There are A LOT of different options, opportunities, financial situations, dollar amounts you can be awarded, ways you can be awarded, etc., based on your own personal (and your family's) financial situation and the individual schools you apply to. And if your situation changes, your award can be changed to. Your best bet would be to see if you can make an appointment with a financial aid counselor at a local school (even community colleges have them) to ask about how financial aid awards will work. It will be much easier if you have already filled out the FAFSA though, so really, I would take the few hours to fill that out and send it in now. You can even do it online. They will be able to explain to you the names and guidelines for all the different types of money you can receive. This will even give you something to do during the next few days so you're not bored at home! (As a side note, and I hope I'm not crossing the line, you do have the choice to go to school away from home, anywhere in the country. It sounds like this might be a very good thing for you to do right now if you aren't that happy or being encouraged at home. It's not running away, it's bettering your situation.)

 

I know this is a long post, but it doesn't even come close to what all I want to mention about being able to afford school. Like I said, working in the financial aid office, I was really sad that so many people thought they had to pay for everything themselves. That is just not even close to true! I had almost nothing saved up in the bank when I started college. And going to school will give you something to do, give you so many opportunities to learn about things that interest you, and will be something that will pay off for you mentally and financially for the rest of your life. You'll be able to ride out the recession too. Start checking out university catalogs. If you're interested in art or science or English or history - anything - look at all the different kinds of classes you will get to take. You'll get excited about what all is out there for you, I promise!

 

(Please feel free to send me a message if you want any more encouragement about giving school a try!)

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Hi Joecool. I hear you my friend and I understand what you feel. For what its worth you are not alone in "not knowing yourself or what you want in life". To be honest, most of us dont really know what we want, not until we get it. And the irony is that once we get it we are not satisfied and we want more. Life is tricky that way and we are raised in a society that teaches us to value material items over basic human kindness. What I am trying to say is that you dont need to know the answer to life, you dont need to completely understand yourself you only need to try. Something that has helped me through the years is completely simple but works. Count your blessings. Everyday when you wake up think to yourself what you are greatful for. It can be anything, the fresh air you breath, the warm bed you sleep in etc etc. Then everyday try one thing that is new. Hold a door for a stranger and say hello with a great big smile. Who knows who you will meet right I dont know if you are much of a reader but I just finished this book and found the basic philosophy to make a ton of sense. "The Art of Happiness" check it out and stay strong; it takes a lifetime to figure out these questions. Enjoy the ride and lessons.

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