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But its OK for me


kl712
My Boyfriend Ignores Me When He'...
My Boyfriend Ignores Me When He's With His Friends [SOLVED]

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My boyfriend and I went to the strip clup a couple of times together. The first time was great, but the second time I got jealous because there was on girl who I thought he looked at wrong and he wanted her to come back - he kept his eye on her the whole time.

The thing is that I do the same thing, if there is one I like, I will keep my eye on her - last time I even got a VIP from her. But if my bf were to do that I don't think I could controll the jealousy.

What do I do? I am not insucure about our relationship, afterall, he is coming home with me, but I have been burned in past relationships. How do I forget that and trust him?

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My boyfriend and I went to the strip clup a couple of times together. The first time was great, but the second time I got jealous because there was on girl who I thought he looked at wrong and he wanted her to come back - he kept his eye on her the whole time.

The thing is that I do the same thing, if there is one I like, I will keep my eye on her - last time I even got a VIP from her. But if my bf were to do that I don't think I could controll the jealousy.

What do I do? I am not insucure about our relationship, afterall, he is coming home with me, but I have been burned in past relationships. How do I forget that and trust him?

 

Honestly, that's the worst test on measuring someone's fidelity, and quite dysfunctional INMHO. I think you can expect 99% of the time that your bf would have lustful thoughts, but you're basically pushing the envelope here. Maybe since you guys went together that he thinks it's ok for him to give someone that look.

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Well, you're aware of the irrationality of the problem, which is a start. Thing is, if you go to a stripclub with your bf...you're going to have to be prepared for him to look at other women and get turned on. What do you expect him to do? Sit there with his eyes shut?

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I love going to strip clubs! I've been to a few with my bf and a bunch of guy friends. It's always a good time.

 

Maybe before you go next time you both should lay down some ground rules. I mean mutual rules that you both have to stick to. If you're going to get VIP dances then maybe you could do that together. I don't know if the club would charge double or not, but it's an idea.

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I know people are going to disagree with me, this is just MVHO.

 

If you set a standard of going to strip clubs, he is going to deem any behavior there as acceptable.

I don't see strip clubs as innocent. It's normal to feel jealousy when another naked person is all over your SO. Going to a strip club is essentially saying either "It's okay" or " You shouldn't feel jealous when another person does that" That being said, You cannot have a double standard. If he can't do it, neither can you.

 

But if you tell him it's okay, you have to accept all that goes along with it.

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i did the same thing, I used to go with my boyfriend to strip clubs all the time( i think it was cause we lived in las vegas not sure) But i would feel the same as you get jealous of these girls but your right YOU go home with him. not anyone else you should just keep that in mind. and if he thinks these other girls are better then you then you should just find someone else he's not worth it then

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  • 4 weeks later...

Should not go to strip club with partner, causes all kinds of trouble and problems u didnt even know u had. And its tacky and uneccessary.

My old bf was obsessed with this sad crap. I dumped his a$$. I didnt sign up for the relationship, if i knew he would be enjoying seeing/perving on other women acting like

wh0res n degrading themselves - right in front of me. I consider it a form of cheating.

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Well, you're aware of the irrationality of the problem, which is a start. Thing is, if you go to a stripclub with your bf...you're going to have to be prepared for him to look at other women and get turned on. What do you expect him to do? Sit there with his eyes shut?

 

Vey true, what do u expect?? Getting turned on by other women..how can u say its not a form of cheating? I will never understand why couples go to strip clubs together.

I just cannot fathom it at all!

 

I was soooo insulted when i found out my bf was into this. I mean if he's turned on by a stripper for christ sake, what does that say about me. He'd just as easily be turned on by a cheap hooker walking the streets. Why was he even with me, when he was oogling other womens boobs and staring into THEIR spread legs. Does that thought make u feel comfortable or something?

 

And WHYYY is it that when couples go to strip clubs: its always to a female strip club! The bf never would go to a male strip club for his gf. But has no problem taking his poor gf along to see women flash their vag all over the place. Its so unfair and wrong. Try n see if he'll go with u to a male strip club, n then see how he feels.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Wow...so there a few points I want to make...

 

1. I think the hardest thing for women to grasp that with men, attraction does not mean feelings. Men are more ...visual. It's not like they can control their bodies reactions. Now....going home with someone else, they can control that, but to say that a guy will get aroused by 'any * * * * * ' well...yeah, that's what their bodies are programmed to do. It doesn't mean they love them...and I'm a female. So this isn't coming from some guy.

 

2. Bringing your boyfriend to a strip club is one thing. You getting a VIP from a stripper is another. Just because guys don't show their envy as strongly as women do, doesn't mean it's not there. I'd have a very hard time grasping what was going through his head if that didn't upset him.

 

3. Double standards are a big no no. They make no sense...! They're not fair, and they can put more holes in relationships then Swiss cheese.

 

I think some couples use strip clubs to liven up their own sex life, but if you can't handle it... then it's just going to create more problems. Maybe try pornography instead. That way you get the visual stimulants, but don't run the risk of being envious of a live person in front of you?

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