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What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

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** In advance I apologize to anyone who is about to read this, because this will honestly take about 20 minutes..



I don't go on forums much, so i'm new to all of this. And as you can

probably tell I made this account just for this one question. I couldn't find a sub-forum to accurately post this in, but this one seemed the closest.


I'm a senior in high school and I'm desperately waiting for the move to college. High school isn't bad, I have just somehow built up a bad reputation as a "boyfriend". While this may be true, it isn't for the typical reasons of someone being a player, or just trying to get sex. Now if anyone is actually interested in this, you'll probably want to read these long paragraphs, giving a more in-depth look at my life with girls.


I've had three relationships in high school. The first of which came freshman year. I didn't realize until after how much I cared about the girl, and that I really did love her. Now before anything starts, let me go through this individually. This isn't some bogus post about a high school sweetheart, this is honest, and painful truth. This girl I was with gave me everything I could of wanted. She was awesome, but out of my own ignorance, I pushed her away. Simple things made me jealous, which in turn ruined what we had. It has only been about a year or so since i've actually gotten over her. She is currently (in my opinion) with some a**hole who cheats on her every week. This isn't hidden from anyone, including her. She chooses to stay with him, even though he is complete trash to her. This is so annoying for me to watch because she can do so much better than him, physically and as a boyfriend. I'm not going to lie, this kid isn't the most attractive guy you'll ever see. But for some reason she loves him, at least enough to go through all that she has so far. I find myself so alone without her. When I was younger I was careless with girls. I didn't realize what I had until it was gone. I know that is probably the most cliche thing ever spoken, but for me it's true. And this girl was the first that actually brought me to tears from it.


The next one was actually a lot better. Me and this girl still talk to this day, even though it didn't work out. We dated on and off for about a year. We had been friends from way before though so we were really easy to put together. I think I had the most fun with her, even though we weren't together very long. She is a year older than me, which already put me at a disadvantage. While I could go on for years about her, I'll just give the abridged version. I loved her too. More than the first girl. To this day i'm in love with her, and she knows this. The part that makes it so hard is that she doesn't want anything to do with me outside of just talking on the phone, or occasionally hanging out (every month or so). When i'd ask her to do something, I wouldn't get a response. Until the nights where she would drunk dial me and go on about ridiculous things for hours. Outside of dating, I have a VERY poor relationship with girls. I don't really hangout with any, just my friends who are predominantly guys. I don't know if i'm too scared of getting shut down again, or what it could be. So when i'm with a girl, I normally come on strong, and scare them away.


I'm an active person. I play rugby and soccer for my high school and for the sake of this post, i'm pretty good at them both. I'm fairly popular in my school, to the point where everyone knows me, and no one hates me* (this will be discussed at a later point). While going through high school there have been many opportunities where I could of hooked up with a lot of girls and not had to worry about any consequences. If I were younger I would of done this in an instant.. But as i've grown up, i've realized that I hate being alone. In the beginning of school, I was happy, and carefree. Girls didn't bother me because I had my friends, and that everything was going to be alright. This was around the beginning of sophomore year (The last girlfriend I had until this year). As I went through junior year my thoughts started to change. I matured a lot as a person and realized that there was so much more to life. Through this epiphany, I realized how alone I really was, and how much I missed the other girls that I didn't have anymore. I missed being with them, and having someone to talk to about anything. While my friends are good at this, sometimes they just don't get it. My family is a complete wreck. Everyone hates each other, so I don't really get the opportunity to talk to them at all. This is when I started drinking. While I had drank before, I didn't do it often. Just at parties or where ever it was social. But what I was doing wasn't social.


I would drink before school 3 or 4 days out of the week. At our lunch break I would go home and chug some vodka just to get numb for the rest of the day. I would fill up water bottles of booze and go through the day throwing that down during my passing periods. While I lost touch with most of my friends, I noticed something that made me even more sad. No one said anything about it. I would go for weeks without talking to, what I considered, my best friends, and they would just pick up where they left off like nothing had changed. This is where everything turns bad, really bad.


Suicide was something that I contemplated for a long time. Way before any of this. With my family as dysfunctional as any other middle-class family with a Mom with a gambling problem and an alcoholic dad. But putting my severe loneliness and upright depression into the mix, it was all that i'd think about. I stopped doing my school work, and just started drinking. I didn't care what people thought because I knew I didn't care about them enough to worry about it. I ended up getting kicked out of school for that year. I lost all the classes that I had taken, and had to retake them the next year. I was way behind where I should of been for graduation credits, and it looked like dropping out would be smartest thing. All of this built up on me. Being alone, with no future in front of me at all. I couldn't play soccer the next year because of restrictions for getting kicked out. The saddest part of all of it, was that I honestly didn't care enough to stop myself. Everything built up, and I got weak and just let it fall through. It hurt me but I knew I had to do something, because I couldn't live the rest of my life like this. I knew I had to change.


With the start of senior year, I was pretty much f*cked. I needed to take extra classes so I could graduate, and all of my college scholarships were thrown out the window. I was left standing in a deep whole. While my drinking slowed, I managed to get things together. Due to the fact that I didn't have much else to do besides school and drinking, I started gaining weight like crazy. Playing soccer I was always in pretty decent shape. But after all of that i found myself with an extra 50 pounds! Think about that, i'm huge! especially for my 5'10 body. I'm at 220 now, where I should be around 170. Sorry that was a little off topic. While I started to pull myself out, I realized that life wasn't so bad after all. I found a girl that actually wanted to go to homecoming with me.. While I was in awe, I decided that this is the perfect way to start over. So after homecoming had past, we were still together, not technically dating, but the whole "with/together" thing. Which as a guy I do not understand that at all.. But this girl was beautiful. I really don't know how I was so lucky. She was gorgeous. As our relationship unfolded, I found myself less interested in her. Not in a "hey you're boring I need something new" way, but as in, I don't feel the same anymore. At the time this didn't bother me at all. She was in love with me and for once in my life, I wasn't. I didn't know how to feel about it at all. While we stopped talking I realized that she was holding my life together.. Without her I was back where I was before, drunk and alone. My drinking started up again, and as I felt myself fall apart, I realized that I had to tell her all of this. I convinced her to come over, and we talked for hours about everything. She seemed so happy that we were talking again. It seemed that everything was actually going to work out for once and that everything would be okay.



My life, is one huge pathetic daytime soap-opera. If there is anyone still reading this, it's about to get so ridiculously cheesy and cliche, that it will be hard to believe, but just go with it.


** from before in case I don't forget, all of this last girl's friends completely hate me. And she is on our poms team, so that is about 30 to 40 girls who love to make up things about me just to try and piss me off. They really do hate me.




There was a dance coming up around the end of thanksgiving. This dance is called "Turkey-Toe". I have no idea why, it's a terrible relation to thanksgiving.. If you buy a turkey on a stick-thing for a dollar, if you held it up above any two people dancing with each other, they would have to kiss. While most people try to play it off like they don't want to kiss, everyone ends up doing it. to try and avoid confusion in this next part, the girl I dated last will be S, her friend will be T, and my friend will be Q. I entered the dance and quickly looked around for S. I was happy that we could just dance and have fun and it wouldn't be bogus. While I couldn't find her, T asked me to dance. I said yes, because I would of felt bad telling her no. We were dancing halfway through a song when someone comes up and "turkey-toe's" us. While she wants me to kiss her, I tell her I cant, because that would be unfair to S and that I want to be with her tonight. She understand and we finish our dance and go separate ways. I couldn't find S anywhere, so I was disappointed and left. The next day Q calls me up and wants to go get some food with me. I told him yeah and we hit up some fast food place. On the way there he talked to me about S. With generic questions like, "so what's up with you and S?" While I gave him the short runthrough, he looked nervous while I didn't think anything of it. A few weeks later after finally talking to S, she tells me that she was at the dance. I asked her where and she said that she was with Q. I was so angry. I felt like a complete idiot. How could I not of seen this? It was so obvious, while I was so oblivious... And to make it worse, they kissed. On top of that, in between the time of the dance, and me talking to her then, they hung out at his house, and made out a few times. I could not believe what she was telling me. I thought I was going to go crazy... I * * * * * ed at her and didn't talk to her for weeks..


While I thought all of this was a good thing, I realized that once again, I was back where I started. Alone. This is where suicide came back into play. I just wanted to kill myself so bad.. No more pain, no more problems, nothing. Eventually that played itself out, and I just pushed through it. I was still depressed, but it wasn't as bad. Not until last week..


I got a call from S on a regular school night. When I picked up she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she wanted to come over. I told her that was fine and nervously waited for her to get here. When she came in she burst into tears, and came in hugging me. I had no idea what was going on. I went along with it. We sat on my couch and she laid on me telling me about her problems and how everyone was mad at her, and that her parents were on the ropes, and how everything was just bad. I listened to all of her problems and we started talking about it. I made her laugh and reminded her that this was just a phase. What are the chances you'd have to put up with stuff like this for 4+ years right?.....



After we finished talking, she very calmly told me that she missed being with me. And that she wanted to be with me. At that point I got really happy, because maybe finally, after EVERYTHING, after all of the sh!t I had gone through, after every failed attempt to change myself, MAYBE, JUST MAYBE.. this would work out. My life can't be that completely ridiculous can it?


Well here is where I am now. There was another dance just this last friday. I was texting her before, asking her if she was going, she told me yes and that I should come find her. So as the dance came around, I found her. I pulled her aside and asked her what was wrong because she looked really sad. She said nothing, so I asked if she wanted to dance with me. This whole time I had heard rumors about her and, i'm not even making this up, our quarterback of our football team. Who can only be related to maybe superman? He's that amazing at everything. She never mentioned him, so I figured that they were just rumors. About 10 seconds into the dance, she turns around and says, "I can't dance with you". This is in a group of about 25 people, who were all looking at me now. I asked her why, and she said that she didn't want to ruin her chances with M. (quarterback). I wanted to scream. I wanted to knock out everyone I could see. I was enraged to the point where I was getting bad migraines. I walked away and went home.



This has been what i've had to go through. And I honestly can't take it. Im in love with all three of these girls, and none of them feel the same way for me. While some of my friends say that i'm just into "the chase", that's why I can't have a relationship, I don't know if that's the right thing or not.



As I finish with my tired, aching fingers. I'm left alone, in my basement, just like any other night, with a bottle of whiskey, and my laptop. I feel like I have failed at life, and that there are no other ways out of it. If anyone actually finished this, thank you for taking the time to do so. Whether you reply or not, it's just good to know that someone might actually care.


So after all of this, I ask you, What should I do?

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I don't want to stop drinking. It makes me feel better even though all it really does is push me farther away.


As for college, I'm glad that it will all be behind me. But what makes this so hard for me, is that I really do care about all three of these girls. I honestly do not know why at all. I can't get over them and it is too ridiculous to go through. It isn't a matter of, now that they're gone I can start over. It's more of, now that they're gone, I missed my opportunity to get them back. Do you know what I mean? It's a terrible way to go about it, but that really is how I feel.

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