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Depressed...Bad


CrazyBeautifu

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at first this will seem as a dating thing but towards then end you will notice that its not.

 

last year sometime I was dating this guy, he was 19 and i was 16. He took me over to his brother's house (his brother's friend's birthday party) we were all drinking besides me. i only had 1 cause i knew i was light weight. well his brother and some of his friends went out to the bar and we stayed behind and watched tv. his brother came back alone and he was drunk. He gave me some liquor and i told him i didnt want any, but he made me drink it and with him being drunk i didnt want to risk what he would do to me if i said no. well after a while i got kind of drunk to where i can remember things but was tired and kind of weak. I never drank that much liqour before.

 

well when we were going to bed me not knowing what will happened next. my bf at the time took me to where he was sleeping at and next thing i remember he was on me and i was saying "No" "Plz stop". I was virgin until that night..... he raped me.

 

I told my mom about it and my step dad.

they helped me a lil bit but im still depressed and I feel like my body is not mine anymore. its like he took it from me and i feel nasty in it, i feel so hurt cause i was violated and i couldnt stop him!

i just want to end this misery... Im tired of feeling this way!

 

I also have been thinking about scuicide. I just need help.

How can I make this feeling go away?

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I only told my parents, i dont want anyone else to know because im embarrassed that i let a guy get me drunk and rape me. its not easy living with this. i kept myself from commiting scuicide for as long as i can and its hitting hard now more than ever, and i dont think i can hold it much longer.

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Stop right in your tracks...whatever you do DO NOT think of harming yourself...okay...it's not your fault...I don't care what the situation is/was...go right away to speak to someone about this..talk to your parents and perhaps they can help you get counseling.

 

Hon, what is done is done, but you need not feel to blame okay...??

 

Try to rest, eat, and take care of yourself.

 

This guy is in no way worth taking your own life..he is only a speck of spacedust. Go see a doctor also to get a checkup...my advice is do not delay.

 

hugs to you!

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yea i told her, she has been trying to get me an appointment with a therapist. I mean shes really trying her best!, while she was doing that i thought i would get some help from other people and thats when i found this site...i just need some help bad. Its hard for me to sleep at night.

i have bad dreams all the time, like night terrors, i would sleep walk, so my mom tells me, she said i would just get up in my bed and start crying.

 

Its really hard to deal with. I always ask myself "why me", "why did i have to meet this guy"

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I'm very sorry for what happened to you.

 

It is good that you can talk about this with your parents.

 

I do think it would be a good idea for you to go to a women's centre or seek out a support group of some sort. I think it would be good for you to see other women who have gone through similar experiences, and see how they coped, and how they got stronger. But going, would have to be a decision for you to make.

 

...

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I'm very sorry for what happened to you.

 

It is good that you can talk about this with your parents.

 

I do think it would be a good idea for you to go to a women's centre or seek out a support group of some sort. I think it would be good for you to see other women who have gone through similar experiences, and see how they coped, and how they got stronger. But going, would have to be a decision for you to make.

 

...

 

this is the first time i told somebody else besides my parents.

So i guess im starting to just come out with it and getting help.

it was hard to post on here, but i felt like i need other people to tell me what i can do than besides my parents.

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