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Extreme Moodiness - Jeckyll and Hyde


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There's someone in my family who is very moody - so much so that it has destroyed the chemistry of our entire family. People avoid going to my parents home when they know she'll be there (every holiday).


She can be superficially nice at first, but within 24-48 hours - without fail - she will transform into a spiteful, angry, irritated, narcissistic bit@h. And this is ALWAYS, and it's with other siblings, my parents, friends, friends of my parents, relatives, you name it.


It's like at some point she turns from Jeckyl to Hyde. Everyone in my family has known and discussed it with one another forever. When she's confronted about it by my parents she makes things up like "he doesn't show any interest in me," or "they don't like me." All this is total crap. There are always witnesses who can attest that she was treated with respect and well, and this has gone on for the duration of our lives - since she was a little girl.


My parents never disciplined her once. She was spoiled rotten to the nth degree. For some reason they always walked on egg shells with her, and if she ever threw temper tantrums in the malls they'd just buy her stuff. Once she had an outburst with my parents and they bought her a new car the next day. All this has been like salt in the wounds for me and my other siblings, because we were brought up much differently, and with more of an iron fist.


She is a taker as well. Anytime a friend, or sibling, or anyone does anything with her she sticks them with the bill (and she has a lot of money). She takes advantage of people all the time. She's very pretty and now she's in her late 30s and she's never been married, engaged, or had serious boyfriends for too long. She's had boyfriends, but they were the ones who usually left her.


My question to anyone out there is this: are you familiar with this kind of severe moody personality disorder and could it be bi-polar or something clinical?

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Thanks for your comment, Kiteless.


I had always just blamed it on spoiledness, bad parenting - never reprimanded. Witnessing how my parents brought her up you'd immediately just write it off that they created a monster.


But, her moodiness seems almost uncontrollable. Now that we're all older, I've begun to analyze it differently - wondering if she has some kind of biological condition. I mean, there are many children who are spoiled rotten, never reprimanded, and they may very well be horrible to deal with - typical "Nelly Olsons" - but the moodiness has been such a consistent part of it over our lifetime.


It's like she puts up a front in the beginning, but then her patience for maintaining civility and being pleasant becomes impossible for her. And this new persona appears.

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She could be Borderline Personality Disorder, BUT the diagnostic criteria for that is so vague yet so specific that you could probably make a case for everyone you know.


Here's the criteria for BPD from Wikipedia:

link removed


Her outward behavior could easily fit into BPD, but without knowing if she can disassociate, or has other issues that aren't outwardly apparent but are necessary for "diagnosis", it isn't a sure thing.


I really would chalk it up more to bad parenting than anything else. Some people just never, ever grow out of being coddled. If she has been catered to for this long, and she is starting to realize that real life doesn't always work like that, her behavior is not necessarily understandable, but explainable.

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