RLW Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 when we are single, women are repulsed by us. when we are with someone, they must be beaten off with a stick. i just don't get it Link to comment
Radίaηce Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Simple "We are all guilty of wanting what we can't have." may i add we were too stupid and full of pride to do anything about it when you were NOT paired up. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 some of the reasons I think are. 1.Wanting what you can't have 2. Trying to get what you cant have (which is playing games, insecure girls sometimes like to try and get men off their girlfriends to prove to themselves they are better) Link to comment
COtuner Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Maybe because when a guy is paired off with a girlfriend he likes, he is less likely to be trying cheesy pick up lines or behaving badly with his male buddies. He might be smiling more or look more confident and happy. That makes him seem more attractive to us. Link to comment
Bartok Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Is it really like this? I've found a solution to my problems! I just have to get a girlfriend, then all the women will... ...wait a second... Link to comment
agatha Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Maybe because when a guy is paired off with a girlfriend he likes, he is less likely to be trying cheesy pick up lines or behaving badly with his male buddies. He might be smiling more or look more confident and happy. That makes him seem more attractive to us. that's basically it. commited guys are just being themselves, and there's nothing as attractive as that. Link to comment
servedcold Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Let's say you are playing a game of 1 on 1 b-ball with your best friend. It's a good game and things get competitive. Next thing you know one of you is throwing an elbow and the other is fouling blatantly, all to win a meaningless game. When the game's over, you toss down the ball and walk off, competition is over. Now imagine if you didn't even know the guy, you will be knocking him all over the court to win... nothing but the win. Women are always playing one on one with each other, men are the ball, and the competition is never over. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Guys do this to me too. When my boyfriend and I broke up, they all disappeared. When we got back together, they all came back. It's coveting the relationship your in. "His girlfriend likes him for some reason and he makes her happy" turns to "I want that" turns to "why don't I have that"" turns to "I don't have him". Link to comment
randomgirl59 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 If anything its the "want what you cant have" thing, but this doesn't apply to everyone. When I've liked guys who I later find out have girlfriends, it doesn't make me want them even more, I just feel sad that their heart belongs to someone else. I try to crush on guys who I know are single but its very hard. Practically everyone is taken these days Link to comment
COtuner Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Yep, for me they always turn out to be married with kids.... it's almost become a truism- if I am attracted to a guy, better to ignore him because it's guaranteed he's not available. Link to comment
Prezkot Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Definitely wanting what you can't have and natural confidence in a relationship opposed to being single are probably the two biggest factors, but it's insecurity too. A lot of people are attracted to the opposite sex when they are in another relationship because they assume it's safe to talk to that person without it getting consequential when in fact it's the other way around. Opposed to a single person who, even if they aren't actively trying to pick someone up, just have that level of perceived desperation. But that's the rut you face when you're single for a long time. It's like the chicken and the egg question; you want a girlfriend, you need girls to like you. Want girls to like you, you need a girlfriend. Link to comment
randomgirl59 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Yep, for me they always turn out to be married with kids.... it's almost become a truism- if I am attracted to a guy, better to ignore him because it's guaranteed he's not available. All too often I hear that men are afraid of marriage and dont want to marry, yet so many of them are married..I wonder why that is? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 All too often I hear that men are afraid of marriage and dont want to marry, yet so many of them are married..I wonder why that is? I actually rarely hear that. Many of my guy friends want families. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I've never had this happen. If a guy likes me, I have been approached when singel and when I was with someone. Maybe you just notice the lack of it more when you are single. Link to comment
supp11 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I don't really believe the saying 'you want what u can't have'. I mean I have had many ex's who were doing anything they could to get with me...sometimes for months. a couple of them were trying religiously to get with me for over 5 months. I still ended up getting with some of them. they were throwing themselves at me yet its not like I was pushing them away or anything. there have been women that I thought I couldn't have but I did get, and visa versa, but those women I really didn't have a super strong desire to get with....it was like yeah I don't know if I can ever have them, but I didn't really want them anymore than the girls who were throwing themselves at me. I just don't really believe that saying. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 All too often I hear that men are afraid of marriage and dont want to marry, yet so many of them are married..I wonder why that is? I think that's just a stereotype. We are, however, afraid of marrying the wrong women. Every guy knows that story. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Maybe because when a guy is paired off with a girlfriend he likes, he is less likely to be trying cheesy pick up lines or behaving badly with his male buddies. He might be smiling more or look more confident and happy. That makes him seem more attractive to us. I also subsribe to this theory. I'd like to throw in the concept of "if that girl wants him then he must be worth something...I want something worth something too" Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I also subsribe to this theory. I'd like to throw in the concept of "if that girl wants him then he must be worth something...I want something worth something too" I agree with this too. Guys who are taken aren't trying to pick you up AND are self confident. Natural attraction. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 The "trick" to self confidence and natural attraction for the single man is to never pin all your hopes on one meeting. Have a number of different "irons in the fire" so to speak so if one or more don't really work out it's not a hit to your ego really. I'm not advocating sleeping around or being a player, I'm just saying have lots of options and know lots of people. Link to comment
randomgirl59 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 The "trick" to self confidence and natural attraction for the single man is to never pin all your hopes on one meeting. Have a number of different "irons in the fire" so to speak so if one or more don't really work out it's not a hit to your ego really. I'm not advocating sleeping around or being a player, I'm just saying have lots of options and know lots of people. would this go for single girls too? how would a single girl attract a single guy? Try to look happy and confident right? what if you dont feel that way though..or you're happy but you worry waaaay too much about everything... actually, let me put it this way...one thing that I gather from this thread is this: People who are taken are happy and confident, they dont have to try to pick anyone up because they are, assuming anyways, in a happy relationship. Single people, however, dont have this so called "radiance" about them, since you only seems to get it when you are taken. Single people want to find someone, but dont have the confidence taken people have. How the does a single person find love then? Link to comment
ellandroader Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Haha, it's called sod's law. (Murphy's law if you are American). It happened to me too, and I couldn't understand it. I think you give off this vibe that you don't care anymore, you have your girl, etc. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 would this go for single girls too? how would a single girl attract a single guy? Try to look happy and confident right? what if you dont feel that way though..or you're happy but you worry waaaay too much about everything... actually, let me put it this way...one thing that I gather from this thread is this: People who are taken are happy and confident, they dont have to try to pick anyone up because they are, assuming anyways, in a happy relationship. Single people, however, dont have this so called "radiance" about them, since you only seems to get it when you are taken. Single people want to find someone, but dont have the confidence taken people have. How the does a single person find love then? You become good at being single. Link to comment
Bartok Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 You become good at being single. I'm an expert at that already. What's step two? Link to comment
waveseer Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Many women love to tease men. The safest men to tease are the men who are committed to another woman. Very often it's just a power game played by the women for attention. Men somehow seem to think the women who do this are serious, and then wonder why they all disappear after he is no longer taken. Link to comment
RLW Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 Many women love to tease men. The safest men to tease are the men who are committed to another woman. Very often it's just a power game played by the women for attention. Men somehow seem to think the women who do this are serious, and then wonder why they all disappear after he is no longer taken. i would agree with this except how does it explain when i woman doesn't know the man or if the man is in a relationship. Link to comment
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