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why is it that...


RLW

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Maybe because when a guy is paired off with a girlfriend he likes, he is less likely to be trying cheesy pick up lines or behaving badly with his male buddies. He might be smiling more or look more confident and happy. That makes him seem more attractive to us.

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Maybe because when a guy is paired off with a girlfriend he likes, he is less likely to be trying cheesy pick up lines or behaving badly with his male buddies. He might be smiling more or look more confident and happy. That makes him seem more attractive to us.

 

that's basically it. commited guys are just being themselves, and there's nothing as attractive as that.

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Let's say you are playing a game of 1 on 1 b-ball with your best friend. It's a good game and things get competitive. Next thing you know one of you is throwing an elbow and the other is fouling blatantly, all to win a meaningless game. When the game's over, you toss down the ball and walk off, competition is over. Now imagine if you didn't even know the guy, you will be knocking him all over the court to win... nothing but the win.

 

Women are always playing one on one with each other, men are the ball, and the competition is never over.

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If anything its the "want what you cant have" thing, but this doesn't apply to everyone. When I've liked guys who I later find out have girlfriends, it doesn't make me want them even more, I just feel sad that their heart belongs to someone else. I try to crush on guys who I know are single but its very hard. Practically everyone is taken these days

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Definitely wanting what you can't have and natural confidence in a relationship opposed to being single are probably the two biggest factors, but it's insecurity too. A lot of people are attracted to the opposite sex when they are in another relationship because they assume it's safe to talk to that person without it getting consequential when in fact it's the other way around. Opposed to a single person who, even if they aren't actively trying to pick someone up, just have that level of perceived desperation.

 

But that's the rut you face when you're single for a long time. It's like the chicken and the egg question; you want a girlfriend, you need girls to like you. Want girls to like you, you need a girlfriend.

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Yep, for me they always turn out to be married with kids.... it's almost become a truism- if I am attracted to a guy, better to ignore him because it's guaranteed he's not available.

 

All too often I hear that men are afraid of marriage and dont want to marry, yet so many of them are married..I wonder why that is?

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I don't really believe the saying 'you want what u can't have'. I mean I have had many ex's who were doing anything they could to get with me...sometimes for months. a couple of them were trying religiously to get with me for over 5 months. I still ended up getting with some of them. they were throwing themselves at me yet its not like I was pushing them away or anything.

 

there have been women that I thought I couldn't have but I did get, and visa versa, but those women I really didn't have a super strong desire to get with....it was like yeah I don't know if I can ever have them, but I didn't really want them anymore than the girls who were throwing themselves at me. I just don't really believe that saying.

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Maybe because when a guy is paired off with a girlfriend he likes, he is less likely to be trying cheesy pick up lines or behaving badly with his male buddies. He might be smiling more or look more confident and happy. That makes him seem more attractive to us.

 

I also subsribe to this theory. I'd like to throw in the concept of "if that girl wants him then he must be worth something...I want something worth something too"

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The "trick" to self confidence and natural attraction for the single man is to never pin all your hopes on one meeting. Have a number of different "irons in the fire" so to speak so if one or more don't really work out it's not a hit to your ego really.

 

I'm not advocating sleeping around or being a player, I'm just saying have lots of options and know lots of people.

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The "trick" to self confidence and natural attraction for the single man is to never pin all your hopes on one meeting. Have a number of different "irons in the fire" so to speak so if one or more don't really work out it's not a hit to your ego really.

 

I'm not advocating sleeping around or being a player, I'm just saying have lots of options and know lots of people.

 

would this go for single girls too? how would a single girl attract a single guy? Try to look happy and confident right? what if you dont feel that way though..or you're happy but you worry waaaay too much about everything...

 

actually, let me put it this way...one thing that I gather from this thread is this: People who are taken are happy and confident, they dont have to try to pick anyone up because they are, assuming anyways, in a happy relationship.

 

Single people, however, dont have this so called "radiance" about them, since you only seems to get it when you are taken. Single people want to find someone, but dont have the confidence taken people have.

 

How the does a single person find love then?

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would this go for single girls too? how would a single girl attract a single guy? Try to look happy and confident right? what if you dont feel that way though..or you're happy but you worry waaaay too much about everything...

 

actually, let me put it this way...one thing that I gather from this thread is this: People who are taken are happy and confident, they dont have to try to pick anyone up because they are, assuming anyways, in a happy relationship.

 

Single people, however, dont have this so called "radiance" about them, since you only seems to get it when you are taken. Single people want to find someone, but dont have the confidence taken people have.

 

How the does a single person find love then?

 

You become good at being single.

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Many women love to tease men. The safest men to tease are the men who are committed to another woman. Very often it's just a power game played by the women for attention. Men somehow seem to think the women who do this are serious, and then wonder why they all disappear after he is no longer taken.

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Many women love to tease men. The safest men to tease are the men who are committed to another woman. Very often it's just a power game played by the women for attention. Men somehow seem to think the women who do this are serious, and then wonder why they all disappear after he is no longer taken.

 

i would agree with this except how does it explain when i woman doesn't know the man or if the man is in a relationship.

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