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What kind of friend zone am I in?


LucasOil

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As a brief summary, I went out with a lady for about four months who later started to pull back suddenly. She was pretty much hot/cold during whatever we were doing very affecitionate one date and a little pulled back the next or in once case, both in one date as if if took her a minute to warm up.A few weeks later, she told me that she could do anything more with me now.

 

 

I took it as no spark/another guy/scared or whatever so I pulled back and started going out with another woman. This woman started to contact me again within two weeks. We chit chatted for a few months, went out for couple drinks and so on.Once I accidentally sent her another person's text that had a term of endearment in it.

 

She immediately asked me if I had woman and such. Figuring I'm in the friend zone but not that cool, I declined to answer. My gut told me she was building up to something.

 

 

She asked me to a family event during the holidays. Still thinking I'm in the FZ, I accept thinking she's fooling with a guy who doesn't go to things like this. Shortly after this thing, her sister in law that I work with thanked me for going with her and said she's tired of seeing her lonely. I guess that may shoot down the guy theory or supports my theory about a guy who will bed but not go to events.

 

 

Flash forward to a couple weeks ago.Her sister in law starts to invite me to events she knows the lady will be at as well as her best friend. Later she hints at me hanging with her friend and kind of seconded the invite by her SIL to hang with them. Not sure what was going on, I ask her out to hang out for drinks thinking she would just have one and split.

 

 

She shows up dressed up, smelling good and hair done. We talk about all kinds of stuff including her starting to date a guy. Thinking I'm still in the FZ I mention that in the past when I've been in the FZ, the woman hooks me up with friends. She refuses to do this but then tells me about some guy who on cue starts calling.

 

 

I ask her why has she been out with me for 6 hours if she has a dude. She gets ready to leave but I get her to stay another 45 minutes. She says I wonder where should she tell him she was I tell her tell him the truth, you were with a friend in a calm manner.Suddenly, her attitude changes and she just has to leave. I bump into her a few days later and she stares straight into me as if trying to see where I am as she's done in the past.

 

 

 

My questions

 

1.What kind of friend zone is this?

2.Why do I get a negative reaction if I talk about ladies?

3.Why are her friend trying to get me in the same place with her knowing she may have started dating a guy.

 

 

Please feel free to offer opinions with the limited info provided. I have other threads here with the same dame.

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When things get this weird, you really have zero to lose by just asking her directly.

 

In your corner.

 

Funny thing is when I asked, I was greeted with silence or a no se'. I'm wondering if this is the friend zone. A friend of mine told me that she was on the fence about this guy or already knows he's no account and wanted to see where I was. My reaction thinking I was in the friend zone and not chasing may have made her mad. Of course, this was female friend's thought.

 

The guy friend thinks she was just multi dating and honest enough to tell me about it but she knows guy isn't all there and wanted to see my reaction hence showing up all clean and such.

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Funny thing is when I asked, I was greeted with silence or a no se'. I'm wondering if this is the friend zone. A friend of mine told me that she was on the fence about this guy or already knows he's no account and wanted to see where I was. My reaction thinking I was in the friend zone and not chasing may have made her mad. Of course, this was female friend's thought.

 

The guy friend thinks she was just multi dating and honest enough to tell me about it but she knows guy isn't all there and wanted to see my reaction hence showing up all clean and such.

 

Why bother playing this game? Nobody's worth it, and it has 'doormat' written all over it. First of all, there are too many people meddling, and that's a big red flag--you'll become a side show, and that's no healthy way to conduct a private relationship. Second, you can't get a straight answer out of this woman, so you're taking the bait and resorting to asking other people to second-guess her manipulations instead of seeing dishonesty for what it is. Third, she's talking about other guys--tacky, insensitive and strange.

 

Other than that, it's the perfect relationship...

 

I'd walk away with pride in tact. Move on to higher ground.

 

In your corner.

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I'd just forget about dating her as you're questioning her motives too much to be just a friend.

 

I'm questioning because I've been here before. What seems to happen is I accept and settle into the zone, get used to it and suddenly out of nowhere there's an attempt to get back with me. By that time I'm not interested but sit around wondering what's was really going on.

 

What I am used to is I have a new wing woman/travel buddy etc. Kind of like one of the guys except I don't listen to boy troubles but bounce my issues off of. This one, just doesn't match what I'm used to by in that they are cool with introducing me to others and such....

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5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – ...
5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – Spotting A True Friend

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