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I'm just looking for a place to vent today although I have posted in the past and most people are already familiar with my story. I kind of want to write him a letter but I don't want to break contact by emailing or calling him so I hope you don't mind me doing it here. Maybe it will help other people too. not really looking for advice unless you have some. If you want to post letters to your exes, go for it.

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Dear L,

 

It's been four weeks and although I've tried being strong, I miss you more than you know.

 

You think that I "needed" to be with you but I've proven that I can handle being alone. The truth is that I really want you. Spending time with you enriched my life. I miss the little things you did even though I was sometimes annoyed by them. I was with you for over 7 years and never got tired of you. There were times I liked other people. There were times with no butterflies, infequent sex, bickering, and boring dates. But the essense of you kept me loving you and committed to you. I tried making you feel bad by implying that you were not my soulmate and that we were missing a connection. I wanted perfection. But in my heart I knew and still do know that you are my soulmate. I know now that we don't have to be twins joined at the hip to be One. We can be different and have space in our togetherness and still be One.

 

This past holiday season, I thought we really got close with each other's families. Having you there with all my relatives excited me about our future together. I pictured us and our children sitting by the fireplace at my cousin's house opening gifts, listening to Christmas songs on the record player. At your parents' house, you read the Christmas Story in front of your family. I was honored that you lead us in prayer. I was looking forward to a lot more of those. Then you ended it almost out of nowhere?

 

What is it that convinced you to do it? You said you talked to your brother. Did he tell you something? Was he scared about being a dad with little money? Was your family warning you about my blogs on having depression? Did you get freaked out when I called into work because I was upset? What was it that contributed to your "ephiphany" as you called it? You said there was no other woman, but if that was the case, why didn't you tell me all your concerns before and try to work them out?

 

You said we tried working things out in the past but we never gave it a fair try. You were never really motivated to change. Neither was I. Why does it take throwing away 7 good years for you to get off your butt and improve yourself? If you were serious, I would have been willing to do whatever it took, but you never acted that serious about change. You never cried, you never broke down about your job. Why is it that when you can communicate best, you have to end it? This happened with my last ex too. He poured his heart out to me on the day we were breaking up. Before then, he never did that. That sucks.

 

I'm sad that you couldn't be as committed to me as I was and am to you. When I make a promise, I don't make it lightly. You said you planned to marry me. You took my body for the first time because you said I was the One. I believed you! Now I feel like a fool. You don't say you love someone and then leave them. That's not love.

 

I wish you the best. You are not only the best boyfriend I have ever had but the best person I've ever known.

 

You have a heart of gold. I guess I wasn't enough for you

 

-J

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That's a very honest and insightful letter. I think you should send it, he should know how you feel and for you, it may provide some closure. I went and sent my ex a letter a couple of days back which is as open as I can be. I know she may not reply but it closes things for me and I can honestly say I have done everything.

 

Good Luck to you. I really hope you can find someone who complements you well.

 

Dan

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I'm not a believer in sending letters like this. They generally accomplish nothing and often times the writer is secretly (or subconsciously) hoping they will produce a certain outcome that they almost certainly will not.

 

 

Yea to me its like, just move on, "fun while it lasted" kind of thing but thats just me.

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