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Not Sure what to do


pacopaco

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Hi All,

 

It's been a while for me, and I am back for some advice. you can know all about me in the posts i've written and responded to.

 

The thing is this. Mt ex girlfroend and i begane seeing each other last month. She's the one all the posts are about, by the way.

 

We saw each other at a show that a mutual friend was playing. She came up to me and spoke to me, apologized for cheating, and asked if I wanted to hang out", get to know each other again, etc.

 

it's been since last year., We've had some laughs and went to the Grand canyon for her birthday. On a lot of levels, we still connect like we did in the past.

 

As months started going by, I have found her to be lying about things. Small, things, but lying, nonetheless. She lied about having a friend from her job (which is the same one she was at where she slept with her boss) come over and fix the heater.

She lied saying to me that she knows I'm uncomnfortable with her still working where she works. Even though the relationship turned very sour with her boss, and he threatens to fire her on the daily, to me it was the whole job culture and the men she worked with that had no restraint in their comments that made me uncomfortable with hearing about anything having to do with her job.

So about the heater, I told her it didn't matter to me how it got fixed, but why lie about it?

 

Also, flirts with guys. we were at a bar and she insisted, playfully of taking a photo of some dude at the bar. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with this, but I feel that she should at least gain my trust before doing things like that. I am not typically jealous of things like that.

 

There is that, and then she actually had the nerve to say to me that when she was with her boss, he would buy her dinner and take her places. This was a blow to my ego, and I feel my self-confidence is back to 2006 when she cheated on me, and I felt useless and unloved. I feel the same way now.

 

All in all, this year that we've been having together feels like she hasn't done much to gain my trust. I fell that if anyone should be gift and dinner buying it shouold be her. What I'm saying is that I feel she should do all she can in her power to be back in the place I held her long before. I've seen little of it.

 

She says she feels that there is more that I don't like dislike about her than that I do. In a way that's self-fullfilling. I told her that it's hard to like things when she's taking photos of dudes, and lying about simple things like a heater, adn then putting it on me how she wants a man to treat her after she cheated on me.

 

On Sunday she said "you know, this isn't working out." to which I agreed. She started to explain, I told her I didn't want to hear it. I got my things and left. We've not spoken since.

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On Sunday she said "you know, this isn't working out." to which I agreed. She started to explain, I told her I didn't want to hear it. I got my things and left. We've not spoken since.

 

Hey pacopaco... sorry to hear you're down in the dumps. You did the right thing here. I think, with the history you have with this girl, that things can only go from bad to worse.

 

Keep your chin up.

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My thinking is the same. I think a year is ample time to see what goes on ahead. I'm still bummed, though. I guess I thought, like so many of us do, the she had learned a lesson and that she had changed. Just like so many of us, I think I'm wrong, here.

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My thinking is the same. I think a year is ample time to see what goes on ahead. I'm still bummed, though. I guess I thought, like so many of us do, the she had learned a lesson and that she had changed. Just like so many of us, I think I'm wrong, here.

 

There was nothing that you did that was wrong. You were kind-hearted and trusting enough to go back into a relationship with her, and she took that trust and stomped all over it. Relationships arent about being right or wrong, its about learning from the experience and applying it to future experiences.

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Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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