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Life long issue finding it hard to cope somedays


deaxtime2

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Today a friend of mine came up and said they are sorry to me and I was right about a situation. I should be feeling great, but I am not, I am feeling very sad.

 

I have always been the type of person that even a stranger will come up to me and starting talking to me about their problems.

 

I listen and give advice in the most kindest truthful unjudgemental way I can. I have always been very keen at detecting true feelings or issues that might be bothering a person, or knowing how something is going play out. Perhaps that is why people choose to share their problems with me.

 

I don't believe I am psychic or any of that nonsense, it has just been something I have had a knack with ever since I was child. Maybe I more keen at picking up body language and tone than others i don't know.

 

But I always tell the truth, even if know it what they don't want to hear.

 

As people do they ask a multitude of people for advice on the same subject. They will tell them what I thought of course, it is just human nature. Most of the time they say "don't listen him he is trying to get into your pants" "he is just jealous" "he is trying to control you" and tell the person what they want to hear.

 

Cause of this I have had some very vile things said and done to me.

 

After a period of time, 99% of people I have given advice to that don't believe me at first will come up and say sorry, you were right about what you said.

 

I say no problem, smile, glad everything is starting to work out. I never say I told you so, or if you listen to me in the first place.

 

But it just starts to tear away at your soul. I am a very altruistic person, and sometimes I find it hard to cope with other people's actions when they don't believe you or have inability to just trust that you are looking out for their betterment.

 

Has anyone else had this problem? or I am I just clearly crazy.

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I've been in this situation although not as much as you are describing. What helped me most was forgetting other people's business. That way there is no danger of me breaking a confidence and when they come back I find it much easier to take in stride. If I can't even remember what I told them then I really have no idea if it was my words at all or if I was simply a catalyst or nearby at the time they felt they received help. I always say "you're welcome" and often say "pass it on".

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I don't think it's that people are NOT believing you or your advice, it's just that we all have our own mind and end up doing whatever we want. Most of the time people facing a problem are in denial and think otherwise. They are only looking at the problem from one view. They can't see the entire picture. Even if you can, they just don't. It's not you!

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Most people don't want to hear the truth if it means changing their route or facing things they'd rather deny.

I guess the thing to do would be to offer less advice, more listening, and just give suggestions rather than concrete solutions. Sometimes people just want to be heard-- often times they know the truth.

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