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A recent experience


GernBlanston

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She was standing at the corner waiting for the light to change as I got off the bus. I'd noticed her immediately. Her shoulder-length blonde hair was tied back, revealing an Eastern European profile and flawless skin. She would be about 5'6", but stood taller in her 4" high heeled boots. The slim, fitted winter coat ended just above the hem of her charcoal skirt, which was knee-length. Black lace stockings covered the top of her calves.

 

I arrived at the curb and waited, trying to ignore her. The wait wasn't long and we proceeded accross with the other pedestrians who'd accumulated. My condo is only two buildings from the corner, so it would hardly be any time before she was just a memory. She'd been walking faster, but slowed as she approached the door to my building. My heart sank a little. Oh, no. She lives here. We'll probably share an elevator. I'm supposed to talk to her, aren't I? A confident guy would have talked to her already. A confident guy would have opened her at the corner, right? That's the three second rule. I've got nothing to say. Nothing I say could possibly be of any interest. I'm not an interesting person. This isn't good. Maybe I should keep walking and come back later.

 

She fumbled in her purse for the key fob as I approached the door. I reached into my pocket and said, "Hold on. I bet I have one of those," then swiped the tag. I held the door as she smiled and thanked me. "No problem."

 

As usual, I waved and said hello to the security guard before reaching the elevators. She and I stood and watched the numbers slowly drop. I should say something - initiate a conversation. About what? The elevators? Shouldn't I have an opener already worked out? Saying something now would be awkward. It's too late. I'll come off as a creepy weirdo. Especially now that other people are waiting, too. I hate when this happens. I am a creepy weirdo.

 

The elevator arrived and we all got on. She selected the penthouse level. I tapped 16. More floors were chosen, but by the time we got to mine, only the two of us were left. The doors opened and I turned to her, smiled slightly and said, "Have a good night." She barely looked up, but said, "Thanks" without a smile. Stupid. That was creepy. Why did I say anything? I should have just walked out. I hope I don't see her again.

 

So, what's the lesson learned here? I suppose it's that I'm not going to get anywhere with women unless I man up and start a conversation. This is a lesson that I've been taught thousands of times before and should really have learned by now. This is basic, obvious stuff. Pathetic.

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So, what's the lesson learned here? I suppose it's that I'm not going to get anywhere with women unless I man up and start a conversation. This is a lesson that I've been taught thousands of times before and should really have learned by now. This is basic, obvious stuff. Pathetic.

 

Pretty much. It sucks sometimes but if you want to play the game, you gotta roll the dice. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose but one good win outweighs any number of losses. If winning was a given, would you play?

 

You can't know how good you are at the game unless you play. Nothing wrong with being nervous but ever think that maybe she might have been just as nervous as you.

 

Next time you see someone you're interested in, introduce yourself and start up a conversation. In the end, you won't regret it.

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You know what, after finding the PUA community right at the beginning of 2005 and using many of the techniques to help me have better success with women, all the way up until the beginning of this year I had never opened. Now the problem with this is that I could learn all I want about women, but if I'm not able to open, it's all for nothing, because this is the first and most important step. You have to learn how to open and open well.

 

If you're able to find Neil Strauss' DVD set "Annihilation Method" somehow, this will show you how to do it. Read Thundercat's "The Art of Approaching" and "Magic Bullets" by the mysterymethod crew. Just read the opener chapter. You have to find an opener you absolutely love and use it as your default opener. Practice saying it outloud by yourself, with friends who know what your trying to do and can critique you. Use it on any girls, even girls your not attracted to. Take a bootcamp if you can, it will help break you through.

 

At the beginning of the year I, with the help of Imprecision here on this site, made a dedicated effort to open sets. I have two opinion openers and they open everyone. They hook into conversation about 80% now because I have refined the technique. What I did is to give my gf 100 dollars each night I wanted to go out and she wouldn't give it back to me till I opened 5 sets. It really lit a fire under my ***. It was a little hard at first, but now I feel like I'm able to open correctly. I can transition into conversation reasonably well too, now it's time for attraction material.

 

You have to do pick up sequentially, no more of this jumping around. All you should be interested in right now is learning how to open. There are resources out there for you, use them.

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