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LC, Positive steps


exploding head

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My ex and I are in LC. This started when she sent me a holiday greeting after asking for "space"

 

I asked her why she was emailing me and why she is still snooping around trying to find out what's going on in my life. I made it clear that I wasnt being confrontational, just curious.

 

She said to me (behind one of her shields) “The concept of space does not preclude holiday well-wishing nor wanting to find out how an old friend is doing. I like you and your family and I want to keep in touch, but I don’t know how to do it. I’d love to call and talk soon” I thought the lawyer-speak was amusing. I was soooo tempted to reply… “I preclude that the intent of the counselors answer is predicated upon her reluctance to discuss her current mental state.” I always found it funny how she goes into that “mode” when she’s upset.

 

I filled her in on my mother (shes been sick) the ex told me to tell my mom she was in her thoughts and to say hi. (they really liked each other) I told her I was positive about things lately and to give me a call anytime. I also sent her some pictures of a deck I just finished building (we are both woodworkers) . I also sent a new pic of me 40lbs. lighter and lookin great. Trying to show her I’ve made a lot of changes.

 

We haven’t really discussed anything, but I think it’s a positive step. I hope she calls soon.

 

I’m really not getting my hopes up here, just sort of cautiously seeing what happens.

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you've been broken up for 8 months, right? why continue to talk with her and keep yourself from moving on?

 

for sake of argument, say you got back together...would it really be so great. sure, you'd be happy at first, but after that i think most people who get back together start seeing the problems that broke them up in the first place again. or...you have a constant fear she'll leave again...or resent her for leaving the first time, or a million other things.

 

i dunno, i think it's time to move on.

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no, you don't. how did you come to that conclusion?

 

If everyone could just accept that relationships have ended and get on with their lives, there probably wouldn't be much need for this forum.

 

I understand you're trying to get it accross that he can live without his ex but it comes accross as quite abrasive.

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no, you don't. how did you come to that conclusion?

 

If everyone could just accept that relationships have ended and get on with their lives, there probably wouldn't be much need for this forum.

 

I understand you're trying to get it accross that he can live without his ex but it comes accross as quite abrasive.

 

oh well.

 

i asked a question...

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I cant give up yet. I have to hold on a little longer.

not really sure what this means...nevermind what you want...if she doesn't want to be with you, then what?

 

i think you may not feel it, but understand that you don't need her...and that your feelings will only pass if you stop talking to her.

 

also, with your current feelings, your not going to get the response you want from her.

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I just feel like if i cant get her back, Im a complete failure.

 

obviously not true

 

is this your first breakup?

 

what are you doing for yourself? i hope not just sitting around scheming to get her back...at this stage anyways...what actions have you taken to take control of your own happiness?

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obviously not true

 

is this your first breakup?

 

what are you doing for yourself? i hope not just sitting around scheming to get her back...at this stage anyways...what actions have you taken to take control of your own happiness?

 

Moved back home

lost 40lbs.

got a Mini Cooper S

my guitar playing/singing has improved dramatically

much more social/going out, etc..

closer with family/friends

going back to school

love my job

 

I've known this girl since i was 16. She was my first love, but we didnt get involved until 12 years later. It's hard. I always wanted her and i got her. Now she's gone.

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