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Feel as if am losing her


dturner

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I don’t know what it is but I just feel like am losing her. That's the gut feeling I get.

 

Everything was good around a month ago but nows she is in a bad mood all the time, cold and generally been unreasonable.

 

I have asked her what’s wrong countless times and she says she’s generally unhappy at the moment but she doesn’t know why.

 

 

I think I might need to pull back as everything else iv tried is not doing any good.

 

Anyone else been in a position where you think your SO is losing interest?

 

Turner

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Perhaps try and make her life easier? Instead of questioning, do little things that she might appreciate and that you know she likes.

 

Difficult to guage without particular examples, so that's all I can personally suggest..

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Hey turner,

 

It could be that she is depressed. In that case, it is likely that her behavior is not due to the relationship but due to how she feels. However, even if that is the case, it is natural that this affects your relationship. I thought about depression because of what she says; I've been depressed for many years and had several 'episodes'- and they usually started out of the blue, like a grey cover of cold clouds that was suddenly tossed over my life. Unable to enjoy anything.

 

Pulling back, being less interested in me, yes that has happened in my past relationships. My partners weren't depressed; in these cases it was a sign that things were going south.

 

If I were you, I'd try to open up a conversation once more about this. It sounds like you are committed to her, so give it a shot. But tell her how this makes you feel, and that you are at the point where you are considering ending the relationship. Then see what she says/feels about that. Try to speak from your point of view, don't blame her, i.e. start your sentences with 'I feel this and that when you...' or ask things like 'What do you think?'.

 

Hope it works out.

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Perhaps try and make her life easier? Instead of questioning, do little things that she might appreciate and that you know she likes.

 

Difficult to guage without particular examples, so that's all I can personally suggest..

 

I also like this advise, by the way.

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It’s our anniversary today and we are meant to be going out for a meal tonight although she woke up in such a bad mood I doubt it will be much fun.

 

I guess I will keep you posted on what happens. Just going to give it a shot and be patient and keep things light and fun tonight…

 

If there's no improvment then I will take it from there.

 

Turner ](*,)

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We have had a talk about this and she says she is un sure about us because she can’t see us in the bigger picture together in the future. That she couldn’t see us living together because if we irritate each other when spending a lot of time together then it would be worst if we lived together.

 

This is a quote from a message from about a week ago. I think that this is a HUGE red flag. It seems to me that she's having doubts. It is not uncommon for a couple to 'evaluate' the status of a relationship after about a year, a year and a half. The first attraction and fun is over, it's time to see if you can see each other in 'the bigger picture' as she puts it.

 

The problem is then that she is not open about what she is thinking, she is not addressing it at all. Constant fighting and irritations seem rather to be consequence of her doubts than the origin: I suspect that her doubts are related to how she feels more generally when she is with you- it could be that she doesn't believe there is 'enough there' for you two to make it work. Maybe her treating you this way is a lame attempt to make you not like her anymore. It sounds silly maybe, but I got the cold treatment from someone who was simply too much of a coward to openly break up with me.

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Hi,

 

Yes I think you have hit the nail on the head and it's nothing I haven't already thought about.

 

To be honest I think it could well be over so I need to get ready for it.

 

Meant to be going out for a meal tonight for the year anniversary but I know it's going to be painful, am tempted not to go as all am going to get is the cold shoulder with short one line conversation.

 

Don't think there is much point in putting myself through that.

 

Turner.

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