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Have you ever liked your stepfather?


bingedrinking

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I just want to ask those who have had a stepfather at some point of time.

 

The reason why I ask this is because I like older women and most probably they have kids and all that. So if the relationship progresses, obviously I have to deal with kids. I have often noticed in movies, stepfathers are not portrayed in a nice way. And it seems as if children are not very positive about stepfathers in general. So is it pointless trying to be a good father to step children? Or is there any chance that the kids will like/or at least be ok with a stepfather?

 

And is the stepfather always second choice?

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I've only ever had step fathers. It took about 5 years but I've finally become pretty close with my current step dad. Then again I'm an adult now so I'm mature enough to realize it's not his fault that my mom left my first step dad (who I'm still close with).

 

I think the younger the child, the less they will understand and you might find some resentment. But if you treat them as if they were your own and you love them completely, then I think they will learn to love you in return.

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I get along pretty well with my stepfather. Infact, I'll be moving in with him for a few months when I move to the states in a few months. If you're gonna be with someone with kids then you'll have to get along with her kids or at least try to else the relationship wont last especially if her kids are still quite young.

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Yeah i agree the younger the child the more difficult it can be sometimes...but thats only because young children dont understand. My stepdad came into my life when I was 13 and really at odds with my mum, but he is more reliable than my own dad and i love him just as much. We've had our battles when i was a teenager but i have a great relationship with him. He gets Fathers day cards and 'Dad' cards on his birthday. The thing i love him the most for is because he's stuck by my mum, and he loves her dearly. As a family we've had some very rough times when my mum got sick and some people would have run a mile but not him,he stuck around.....and he acted like a father would to me and my sisters making sure we were ok.

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Okay, see i disagree with matter of time, when i was younger i was fine with any of the guys mum dated. In fact this one guy (who i know was never my "step dad" but my mum dated him for a few years so he was pretty much that) i really thought of as a father, so much so that i was incrediably shattered when they broke up. I am still close friends to him daughter though, and i speak to her mother (his ex wife) well when we are together.

 

I think in every situation it is different. But i think you need to make sure that if you're in it and you meet the kids, you don't let them get hurt, trust me, it can mess you up for a very long time.

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My stepfather didn't treat me well. He was nice in the beginning, but right after the wedding he turned into a dictator of sorts. We tolerate each other, but I have little respect for him because of how he treated me and took over my home when I was at a very vulnerable stage in life.

 

There are plenty of good stepfathers out there though: watch Love Actually. There is a story in there about a boy and his stepdad, and it is so touching the way they had bonded, especially after the death of the boy's mom.

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I'm not too close to my dad. My mom and him split when I was 2, and I only see him 1-2 times a year. Talk to him on the phone every so many months.

 

My stepdad had been in my life for 15 years, and he was the closest thing I had to a dad. Although I love my real dad very much, my stepdad felt like an actual father to me.

 

He moved out a year ago, and the divorce between him and my mom after 15 yrs of marriage just got finalized a few weeks ago.

 

Even though he's out of the hosue and being a little kid, I still see him once a week or so, and we text pretty frequently.

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I hate my step father. I have always hated him since my mom got married to him. He never even tried to be a step father or a father. He never took the time to get to know me. He told my mother,my grandmother and I that I am a piece of sh** because I'm not his daughter. He was really nice before they were married though, but not after. We have lived in the same house since I was 6 and now I am almost 24 and he has never taken the time to get to know me. My father died when I was two and I have no memory of him so I've never had a father figure in my life.

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I hate my step father. I have always hated him since my mom got married to him. He never even tried to be a step father or a father. He never took the time to get to know me. He told my mother,my grandmother and I that I am a piece of sh** because I'm not his daughter. He was really nice before they were married though, but not after. We have lived in the same house since I was 6 and now I am almost 24 and he has never taken the time to get to know me. My father died when I was two and I have no memory of him so I've never had a father figure in my life.

 

yeah same here!

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  • 2 years later...

I hate my stepdad but there are somethings that would change that if:

-he acted as a father

-was involved

-seemed to care and love me

-did things with me to form a bond

-dose not talk down or think of me any less of me cause I am not his own

-did not try to discipline me (he isn't my real father and my mom doesn't want him to do that but he dose it anyway)

-was not always insulting my intelligence

-throwing past mistakes back in my face

-and was open minded and was just involved and knew just one thing about me

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My parents are still married but I can speak on my ex's behalf... His father was a mean drunk who abused his mother. Needless to say, they divorced and she remarried a wonderful man who fully embraced her children and acted more like a real father to them than their bio dad ever did. All four sons adore him.

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While my stepfather certainly has his issues, without a doubt, my life was enriched by his presence.

 

I consider our relationship closer than my own parents at times.

 

I was about 15 when he came into my mother's life. He helped shape my coming of age. He was there when I was hung over, when I needed guidance, when I needed a friend and not a parent.

 

We fished together, drank together, acted the fool together. If you could go back and show it on a movie screen, it would be like one of those "buddy" films.

 

So yeah, maybe I am the exception, but he was great to have around.

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I get on fine with my step father (he isn't legally my stepdad but calling him "mum's boyfriend" feels really stupid after they've been together for over a decade and have two kids), we have our moments but usually we get along fine. I first met him when I was about nine, he's never tried to exclude me or treat me badly and pretty much treated me the way he treats his kids now, I've been pretty lucky with the people my parents' are/have been with mostly.

 

My dad is in my life and always has been, he's a great dad and will never be replaced by someone else, my stepdad is like a relative and father-figure to me too though.

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I hate my step father. I have always hated him since my mom got married to him. He never even tried to be a step father or a father. He never took the time to get to know me. He told my mother,my grandmother and I that I am a piece of sh** because I'm not his daughter. He was really nice before they were married though, but not after. We have lived in the same house since I was 6 and now I am almost 24 and he has never taken the time to get to know me. My father died when I was two and I have no memory of him so I've never had a father figure in my life.

 

sweetpoison I just want to {{{hug}}} you x

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  • 3 months later...

I hate my stepfather ever since I was 6 (I'm 12 years old) he never gave me a smile or hug. I have two sisters he treats them like they were angels but me? NO never before even to this day we have rare chats,barely look at each other. The only way I can make myself feel good is when I play my games and when i hangout with my cousins I never really had a childhood I try my best to do things with my real father. I MEAN COME ON HE YELLS AT ME FOR THE SMALLEST THINGS! Sometimes I think about running away or even hitting him sometimes I think that I should tell my mother but I know that she'll say "he wouldn't do that" all my life I've been bullied by my family,in my school and my friends. But deep down inside me I'm gonna crack one of these days I'm gonna crack. The only time I can really enjoy myself is when he's out of town. So FML

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