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What's the worst part of the day or week for you?


How to leave an abusive relationshi...
How to leave an abusive relationship and why it's so hard

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I think that a lot of us will write similar things for this. Here are mine:

 

1. The end of the working day - it's when I go home to the empty house, cook only for myself and have to face the night without her beside me.

 

2. The first ten seconds after I wake up - she's there, waiting for me to think of her. I always do, every time.

 

3. Friday night - She used to come over after work with her little weekend bag. We cooked or had a takeaway, then spent the evenings cuddling and watching TV before going to bed and making love. The most perfect night of the week.

 

4. The weekend - Just because we were together for all of it. Waking together, sleeping together, cuddling, meals out, mooching around the city, going to the park, making Sunday roast or baking good things to eat.

 

Apart from at those times, I can almost begin to forget about her...

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Mornings are the worst.

 

You only think about your ex for 10 seconds when you wake up?

 

I wake up at 5 or 6, thinking about my ex. Then I try to ignore it and go back to sleep, but end up thinking about her until I fall back to sleep only to wake up at 8:30 or 9, thinking about her some more.

 

It is weird. Sometimes I think what a * * * * * * * I was in the relationship. Sometimes, I think she'll come back in time. Sometimes I cry thinking she'll never come back and it is truly over. Sometimes I think I'm better off without her and curse her name for all the hurt she put me through. Sometimes I wish that she has all the happiness in the world even if it isn't with me. Sometimes I just hope she'll feel what I'm feeling today.

 

Bedtime is much better. I usually spend the evening with friends or my brother. We watch sports. I watch movies. I'm usually exhausted by the time I go to bed after hanging out and then studying (2am) and so I just fall alseep.

 

Mornings and early afternoons I spend on ENA reading posts...trying to heal. Evenings I do school work, hang with friends, work out, etc.

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BrokenHeartUK, are you sure you're missing your ex and not just doing those things with someone?

 

I see what you mean, but my answer is the same as Elsewhere's: I miss someone, but that someone is her.

 

You only think about your ex for 10 seconds when you wake up?

 

Hehe, nope - the first ten seconds is when I don't think about anything, then there she is for the rest of the day and the cycle continues until the next morning...

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Worst part is going to work Monday morning. Best part is getting off work on Friday with an entire weekend to do whatever I want.

 

The ex would bring her weekend bag as well, but she'd have us always filling our weekend schedule. She'd come over, I'd pay for dinner and coffee and whatever we did - dancing, bowling, whatever. I'd give her a massage and she'd go to bed at 1am, get up at 7 or 8 Saturday morning, I'd buy her breakfast, lunch and dinner, and it was run here, run there, do this, do that, take me here, buy me that, all day and evening Saturday and Sunday, then sometimes on Sunday night it was movie night, where I had the "privilege" of watching one or two of her girly movies. Occasionally she'd watch one of my movies. If it HAPPENED to be one of my movies, she'd usually fall asleep or tell me it was dumb. IF we had what she called a "chill day", it was rarely that. She had this phobia of being indoors for more than 4 hours, I swear. "Let's relax", she'd say. Relaxing consisted of running around the house cleaning, or watching kid's shows on TV all morning, but the second I do something I want - like play a game, etc. - she'd interrupt me 10 minutes into it and ask me to go to the store for her or to help her pick out a purse or boots, or something like that online. Saturdays she'd usually say "Let's chill at the mall", bringing her baby nephew with. This usually resulted in her saying "Can you watch him?" and leaving me to entertain him, while she's running off to go shopping or get a manicure for an hour or longer. But the second I'd say something about how I didn't feel like watching him, she'd get mopey with me or have an attitude. But at the mall, it was always me running after her. We'd spend 10 hours over one weekend searching for boots for her. Her: "What do you think of these?"

Me: "Nah."

Her: "What do you think of these?"

Me: "Those are nice."

Her: "What do you think of these?"

Me: "Those are nice."

Her: "What do you think of these?"

Me: "Those are nice."

Her: "I don't like these."

 

The next morning:

Her: "I really liked that first pair I saw yesterday".

Me: "Then why didn't you get those?"

Her: "You said you didn't like those."

 

Back to another mall that day:

Her: "What do you think of these?"

Me: *stare*

 

 

Needless to say, I'm glad to have my weekends back.

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It is weird. Sometimes I think what a * * * * * * * I was in the relationship. Sometimes, I think she'll come back in time. Sometimes I cry thinking she'll never come back and it is truly over. Sometimes I think I'm better off without her and curse her name for all the hurt she put me through. Sometimes I wish that she has all the happiness in the world even if it isn't with me. Sometimes I just hope she'll feel what I'm feeling today.

 

ah john galt, the rollercoaster of emotions. this mirrors exactly what i go through daily.

 

everyday is hard. mornings are tough, so are evenings. afternoons aren't much better either come to think of it

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JohnGalt-

 

 

I know the rollar coaster of emotions you're on all too well. Sometimes I feel so strong, other times so weak, and have this mishmash of anger, sadness, desperation, heartache, and every other emotion inside of me- even a bizarre burst of happiness here and there. What's up with that? I'm so sorry, try to take care of yourself as best you can.

 

I keep reminding myself not to think about the future but stay in the present- that helps me a little bit,

 

-K

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As I wrote in a previous thread the mornings are the worst for me as I wake and she's not there.

 

Weekends are a mixed bag, I love going to get a bagel and reading in the mornings, seeing a film or a play, people watching around town, or cycling for miles and having a few pints with friends afterwards. But I once did those things with the ex so I miss her not being there too.

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i am in the same boat. i wish there was an easy botton to push right now. except during the night i think about my ex but i always tell myself if he doesnt love me he doesnt deserve my love and just trying to encourage myself to be independent andheal by myself with anyone like he is doing purely out of lonliness.

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It's pretty much all day every day right now. This whole "it gets better" thing isn't really happening with this breakup, guess cause it was the most serious relationship of my life.

 

likewise my friend.

 

My ex and I broke up initially back in October! But at that point I couldn't let go. I begged and pleaded (all the dumb stuff I knew I should not have done)...but I was also there for her for some stuff. We got back together in December only for me to break up with her on Christmas because it was clear she just wasn't happy. She wanted space. That's what she wanted. She's never been in another relationship and she's confused and wanted space. So I decided to give it to her. I tried to be her friend still and such, but that didn't help.

 

I've been in complete NC for almost 2 weeks now. I think the point from which we start and stick to complete NC is the point we should start judging how quickly we recover.

 

And generally, the longer the relationship, the longer it takes to get over. There's exceptions, but this is a general rule.

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i am in the same boat. i wish there was an easy botton to push right now. except during the night i think about my ex but i always tell myself if he doesnt love me he doesnt deserve my love and just trying to encourage myself to be independent andheal by myself with anyone like he is doing purely out of lonliness.

 

I've read that you've had this happen to you before. If it has happened before and you survived, then you will survive this. I'm sure of it. You'll come out stronger and if you do the healing the right way, you'll come out more emotionally grounded as well.

 

We're all going through hell, but as long as it takes, it is temporary.

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Stay strong John, two weeks NC is really good! I've found that NC is the thing that's accelerated my healing the most by far. It doesn't make you think of them less, but the lack of contact somehow makes the fact that you are now two separate, single people easier to accept. I thought I could be friends with her, but that is simply impossible when you still have feelings for them. Doubly so when they start a new relationship, talk about torturing yourself!

 

My NC has two benefits: it helps me move on and heal, and it gives my ex the space she deserves to allow her new relationship to grow. Secretly of course I'm hoping that it will make her miss me, but I know that's not going to happen!

 

Think of it this way, NC can only have a positive outcome. If you move on, grow and heal and she doesn't come back, then it wasn't meant to be and you will be a much stronger person for whoever else should come along. If she does come back, by that time you will still be that stronger person and the second time round will be even better! It's a win-win. You probably can't see it now, but it's true.

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